"Upon investigation, we were stunned to find that the formula we use to calculate how many bars of signal strength to display is totally wrong."
Formula? Formula!? How complex can it be? It's not like the strength of a signal is a multi-dimensional thing, it's a straightforward two-dimensional scale.
I think Apple will hear for this one for a while.
Update: top shelf tech journalist (stauch Apple supporter through decades) tweets: "Is it just me or does this Apple statement sound like an Onion article?" Yeah.
Update Bruce pointed to John the Fireball translating Apple's letter.
"Daring Fireball"? That's a site title so lame that it has to be "ironic". Yes, I'm putting quotes around "ironic" because I mean it ironically. Meaning I think it's one of those cases where the author claims irony to those who can see the lameness, while at the same time appeal without irony to those who think it's kewl.