Thursday, February 24, 2011

Someone else?

I wonder if couples ever break up without there being Someone Else on one side or the other? I think it's rare. Change is hard enough for most people, and going from "something" to "nothing" is devastating, so most people will stay in a miserable relationship until they are forced out, or they find somebody Much Better.


CalgaryMark said...

Interesting thought - I disagree, based on personal experience. My first wife and I married in 1968, separated in 1976 and divorced a couple of years later. She decided that the relationship wasn't working and moved out. I liked the change (compared to tension) so decided it should stay that way. We both SUBSEQUENTLY found new partners and moved on . . .

Laurie said...

I left a 16 year marriage because both of us were dying in it. There was no other person involved. Neither of us even wanted to try to revive the marriage, and we looked forward to a change in many ways. It seemed natural that relationships have a shelf life so to speak. I still love this guy, but am glad I'm not married now. He is remarried. The change brought us both new life. I had to bust through many stereotypes and it was scary, i.e. the good wife one, the good Church person, the good mother. All smashed. And love remained behind those roles.


Pat McGee said...

What is "rare"?

I divorced my wife after 15 years of progressively less happiness. After another 15 years, neither of us has found a new partner. For me at the time, no partner was preferable to the relationship I had.

But your question wasn't about whether anyone did this but about how frequent it is.

Jeff R. said...


You kidding, Eolake?

My personal anecdote(s) do not a theory make, but in my 50+ years, with one marriage and a number of long-term unions, not one has been terminated by the intrusion of a third party.
Always been just general incompatibility (boredom, maybe?) and a desire to regain independence.
Not everyone is anxious to be in a relationship.

Anonymous said...

You're assuming that everyone is a sociopath like you, but that isn't the case.

Anonymous said...

the good Church person

No such thing.