Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Wright answers

Pascal forwarded:

Genuine children's answers in written tests about the Bible :

1. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off.
2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of Ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.
3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
5. Sampson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
6. Moses led the Jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
7. They Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses whent up to Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.
8. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
9. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
10. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
11. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
12. David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.
13. Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
14. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
15. The Epistles were the wives of the Apostles.
16. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony which is another name for marriage.

3 comments:

Ray said...

Pascal has done it again!

Bless your heart, Pascal!

Gallagher, the stand-up comedian, once said: "You couldn't get the Ten Commandments through Congress even if Moses was buying the drinks."

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Amen, Brother Ray, A-MEN!
(Not to be mistaken with the A-Team. ;-)

But "I cannot tell a lie". Akin to Muhammad's claims, I did not write this, "I was merely a humble messenger".

Now, to find where I stashed my durned two-pronged sword, and I'm off to conquer back America in the name of its Native owners [and Divine Love].

Pip-pip, tally-ho, and peace, y'all.

PASCAL AKBAR!!!

P.S.: "Blesse" in French means to wound. So, expect payback, mister Infidel, sir.
(Uhm... do you take Visa? I forgot my checkbook at Mt Olympus.)

;-) Wryed smile.

Moses said...

Oy, vat if I turn the page on dat "no adultery" bit, nu?
Dis could vin me de vote of dose meshuggenah Republican shmendricks. Mammeh thinks so.

Here, haf a manna sandvich, dey're zoftig!