Tuesday, July 10, 2007

You and me, all we want to be, is lazy


Pascal and Final Identity said in the "sleeping" post that they both need 10 hours of sleep, as do I.
Pascal added:
"Social rigid standards have decreed that one who sleeps a lot (or needs to) is lazy, period. Modern science has proven otherwise, but who cares? The priority is finding scapegoats to criticize for everything that's wrong in the world."

Indeed. The thing to do is to stop blaming others.

Lots of world leaders have needed lots of sleep.

Until recently my major goal was to become way more productive. Now my goal is to become even more lazy. (And not just because of the ten-year anniversary of one of my favorite songs/videos.) The world is not real, all that matters is what happens in the mind, because that makes the world.

---------
[It must be the best Suede song ever]
Lazy:
Here they come with their make up on
as lovely as the clouds come and see them
Boys and girls and their mums and their words
and their romances and jobs and their sons
Barking mad kids lonely dads
who drug it up to give it some meaning
From the raves to the council estates
they're reminding us there's things to be done.
But you and me all we want to be is lazy
you and me so lazy...
Here they come gone 7 am
getting satellite and Sky getting cable,
Bills and Bens and their mums and their friends
who just really, really want to be loved,
Uncle Teds and their legendary vests
helping out around the disabled,
From the flats and the maisonettes
they're reminding us there's things to be done.
But you and me, all we want to be is lazy,
you and me, so lazy...

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

I once told the neighbor boy that always hung out around our house that I was lazy. By that, I explained, there were smart ways and hard ways to do things and I usually found the smart ways.

His dad once told him being lazy was a sin. But then his dad never finished college and worked in a factory as a janitor. The lazy neighbor guy (that would be me) drove a car that cost more than his Dad's house.

But suspect I'm younger than y'all at 52 (last week). So I am just fine with 7 to 8 hours a night. And I don't feel guilty at all about using the time that way. But my day will come when I spend more time sleeping, and I am unconcerned about it.

Anonymous said...

Must be the age thing. Im 33, and 6 hours is fine for me. Anything more than 8 and I usually wake up with a headache. Ofcourse I do live on a mostly coffee and red wine diet so perhaps it's a case of the coffee keeping me awake and the wine putting me to sleep. Im not lazy, I just cant remain enthusuastic about anything for more than a hour at a time.

Anonymous said...

Eolake declared: "Until recently my major goal was to become way more productive. Now my goal is to become even more lazy."

Me, too. And, of course, being productive and being "lazy" are not mutually exclusive.

Productivity = amount of output / unit of input
(Typically unit of input is time: hours, days or weeks.)

One can increase the above ratio either by working harder, or by working more efficiently. As there is a ceiling to how much we can work anyway, it is much better to seek to increase productivity through efficiency.

Efficiency is about better work methods, which are the result of creativity. And, inactivity seems to be a pre-requisite for creativity. Therefore, reminding oneself to be idle regularly is clearly a sound strategy!

I would caution about one thing, though. Depression is associated with inactivity.[1] Just like you can be mindlessly busy, you can also be mindlessly inactive. Therefore, inactivity (or lazyness) for it's on sake is likely not a healthy state.

Wikipedia sez: "Feelings of laziness may be a symptom of clinical depression."

The differentiating factor is excitement. As long as one finds something to be exited about, inactivity results in creativity. But when our field of vision has narrowed down, and nothing that excites us can grasp our attention, we become depressed.

For us humans, the optimum state appears to be balance. Balance between physical activity and rest, and balance between exercising the brain and mental inactivity (meditation, reflection).

Work (a.k.a. play) is one of our basic needs and greatest sources of pleasure. Trying to deduct it away entirely from our life equation will surely result in misery. On the other hand, being more clever and playful about it will maximise its deliciousness.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Quite so.

Gandalfe, actually I'm in my mid-forties, and I think Pascal is in his mid-thirties. (How did you get the impression we were older than you, I'm curious.)
I've needed much sleep since I was born.
I think part of it comes down to how well you sleep. I've never slept well. I have a hyper-active mind. A lot of my time in "sleep" is spent drifting in and out of sleep. It could be that if I learn sounder sleep I'll need less.

Anonymous said...

Eolake: How did you get the impression we were older than you, I'm curious.

Gandalfe: Youse guys talk like my Dad. But then so do my brothers. Actually Eolake you need a better picture. ;o)

Remember, on the internet, no one knows you're a dog.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

It's a great picture, and it does not make me look older than 52! You need your eyes checked! :)

Anonymous said...

Gandalfe said...
"But my day will come when I spend more time sleeping, and I am unconcerned about it."


Actually, when you get old, chances are you'll need LESS sleep. Medically proven. Old folks only nap a lot if they're desperately bored. BABIES are the ones who sleep the most.

Leviathud said...
"Must be the age thing. Im 33, and 6 hours is fine for me."


That's not age. You're simply a light sleeper. It varies greatly between individuals. There too, it's medically proven by the published research of sleep specialists (I mean the doctors, not the sleepers!!!): it is genetically determined, and can't be changed. Attempts to do that are generally detrimental to health and sleep quality. Beware of coffee, it doesn't erase tiredness, only cover it. Ultimately, it comes back with a vengeance (plus a large cartoon wooden mallet). And using alcohol WILL make you sleep, but it'll be a poor quality sleep and you risk waking up tired. I don't advise drinking yourself to sleep. Nor using coffe to ward sleep off; unless you're in a critical situation like a fire chief fighting an inferno.
BTW, clinically speaking tea is just a milder version of coffee. Translation: more trips to the bathroom. ;-)

TTL said...
"Depression is associated with inactivity."


That's quite true. However, keep in mind the answer of my very experienced Neurology professor when I asked him what were the clinical consequences of chronic lack of sleep: "Quite similar to a nervous depression."
I think depression is often the result of a brain that's exhausted by too much stress &/or anxiety, and burning up all its energy in unproductive effort in a vicious circle. Depression is very commonly amalgamated with laziness (by society), but they're two entirely different entities.
In fact, the same professor told us in class how Depression was treated before efficient and specific drugs were discovered: by drug-induced SLEEP CURES. In other words, by forcing rest. The man knows, he's witnessed the transition.
I very much admire old-school Docs who've adapted to today's modern world: they've learnt the best from both eras. Let's appreciate them while we can: one nearing day the last one of them will retire and transmitting this practical wisdom will be our job.

"Gandalfe: Youse guys talk like my Dad."

I'm not sure how I should take this. ;-)
But I'll consider it means I'm wiser than those of my age.
BTW, Gandalfe, does your Dad also make the same kind of jokes as I do? If such is the case, I'd LOVE to meet the cheerful fella! :-)
Kids consider me as one of their peers (albeit much taller). It's all relative, depending on the context. I can talk like your dad, act like your grandson, or nag you as if I were your great-aunt Ermintrude, that old decrepit bigot spinster. On this blog, I speak as equals with the (fine) present company.
Reminds me of that time before you were born, in the trenches of Dien-Bien-Phu, blah-blah-blah, yatta-yatta... Are you listening, boy? I'm trying to transmit valuable wisdom here! Mumble drone chatter...

"Remember, on the internet, no one knows you're a dog."

Actually, I'm a cat. But I'm tolerant to dogs, especially online, where I don't have to put up with their irritating specificities: the smell, the running around and barking, the gross attitude toward natural functions. We cats actually sniff the face (much more romantic), and dig small holes to bury everything we, um, "leave behind". Unless, of course, there's a personal space to delimit or some hot kitties to inform of your... "seasonal availability". But humans do the same, and it's much more stinky. With their petrol vehicles, artificial scents, covering up their bodies with layers and layers of fabric...

I'd like to take this opportunity to inform our bipedal friends that while we do appreciate napping on a soft blanket, we're very fond of the feeling of our fur directly againtst your exposed skin. And you'd like it too, it's very pleasant. Sensual, even. (stretches)
Well, good-night, guys, time for my evening prowl. We cats sleep an average of 16 hours a day, but it's because we have a lot to rest for. Our famed agility and reflexes don't just do their own maintenance, y'know! And our brain activity is so rich and complex that even your barbaric vivisecting scientists would never study the dreams of a lowly DOG. Now that's rather unfortunate.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

I've observed that if I don't get enough sleep, I get sick. If I do get enough sleep, I never get sick. True story.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

"But I'll consider it means I'm wiser than those of my age."

Me too.
I was always taken for older by people seeing my art or writings, and I always take it as a compliment.

And since I see people in their thirties who look older than I do, it's all good. :)

Anonymous said...

Just like you can be mindlessly busy, you can also be mindlessly inactive. Therefore, inactivity (or lazyness) for it's on sake is likely not a healthy state.

i agree here. i average 4 hours sleep a night. that's it folks. no wonder i look like i have carry-on luggage under my eyes all the time.
(Terry)

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Good point. I have such a hyper-active mind I can't imagine mindless anything.

Anonymous said...

For those who really want to cultivate laziness, can I recommend a couple of books which you can use to support your chosen lifestyle? They are: How To Be Idle and How to Be Free. Both are written by Tom Hodgkinson, editor of The Idler.

While they celebrate idleness, they are also full of the social history of how the coming of the Industrial Revolution changed the pace of life and created the prevailing modern notions of what constitutes a "productive" or "useful" use of time. Well worth a read just for that.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Thanks, I'll check 'em out.

Particularly in the US, work is revered above all else. Just count the number of films about people who sacrifice their family life for their work.

Anonymous said...

His dad once told him being lazy was a sin.

His father was correct. According to scripture it is. Sorry to burst anybodies bubble but it's true.

Cliff Prince said...

It's definitely not an age thing. I've always wanted and needed a strange sleep cycle that really interferes with my ability to cooperate with the "typical" work week and work day.

I need to wake up with the sun, and THEN get two to three hours or so more sleep. If the sun comes up at 6, then I will awaken with it, then crash, then get up well-rested at 9:30 or so. If the sun comes up at 8, then I'm ready for life at 11:30.

I cannot adjust this, at least I haven't yet figured out how. I can go to bed as early as 5 pm and still require that "extra" hit AFTER I have my first awakening spell. I had hoped, when I was trying to adjust it, that I could artificially invoke an awakening spell at 3 am, so that I could then "naturally" arise at 5:30 or 6 am. But it doesn't work. I've set alarms and even used automatic lights, but my body isn't fooled. I need to get up late.

This wreaks havoc with the respect that I receive from "typical" office workers, who blithely assume that they are "trying harder" about life than I am. I can generally tell that I am labeled a lax, slack, or lazy loser if I mention my biological sleep requirements.

But I've done the experiments. Adding effort or devotion does not aid my body in arising. I go about the day glum, dopey, and generally unable to focus my eyes. I have minor car accidents (the sort that you wouldn't tell anyone about, you know, bump or scrape the next car in the parking lot, etc.) and drop the coffee pot. Nothing major (though the major one is just WAITING to happen).

I frankly hate this facet of my personality / biology. I am an "early riser" in the sense that I get up without a great deal of effort, and in the sense that I would prefer to get up at dawn or before (in order to be more productive than I currently am). But I am definitely not a "riser who gets up at an early hour." I CAN get up when the alarm goes off -- in fact, I generally awake about two minutes before it, regardless of when I've set it for -- but I don't WANT to. I WANT more sleep.

I also want to eat at weird times, and I want to eat immediately. When I get hungry, and then I have to go be nice about it like at a cocktail party or something, I get angry. My body rebels, I get light-headed, I start to "bark" at others and get annoyed. I can recognize this tendency in myself and therefore curb it, but it is an innate feeling. One ex-girlfriend calls it "hungry bear". The way it works is subtle. If I don't think about food, I'm fine. But if I realize that I'm juuuust about to eat, but then the food is delayed somehow, I get EXTREMELY ravenous. Makes sense, after all, doesn't it? But the nature of my own ravenousness is different from others. I am almost in a "frenzy" of anger about lack of food.

When working in a regular office, I prefer to eat my food quite late. If I get there at 7:30 (idiotically early, who can be productive then? and already my clock is off because of my rising habits) then I will want to eat at 2 or 3 pm. Biologically I cannot get food to "settle" properly otherwise.

Office workers in general laud regularity, punctuality, and predictability. These propensities of my biology somehow prevent me from participating in the normal office routine. There's a type of "He's not one of us" that goes on among people who get my promotions. I've never done well in career, and these are just some of the reasons.

I don't quite understand it. I always did well at school, and that was a time when I had to get up early and stick to a regular (too early) eating schedule. Maybe I've developed hypoglycemia, or depression, or something. I don't know how to have it checked out. I asked around about a sleep center, but the investigation would have cost $5,000.oo for starters. There are no "sleep disorders" listed in any reference manuals that parallel my description of my own requirements.

It's one of those mysteries, a cross I'm still bearing. I've been like this since I was about 25, and I'm 41 now. I can't remember what I was like before 25 -- probably biologically I had the same requirements, but they weren't as much grief simply because I had the energy to overcome it, or because I just stuffed my face or took a nap whenever I wanted to because I was in college and grad school.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

My sleep "schedule" is totally scattershot. I am very happy being my own boss working from home, being able to take a two hour nap in the afternoon if it suits me.

Conventional wisdom says a fixed sleep schedule and only at night is necessary, but sorry, it simple does not work for me, I've tried it. And many people with hyperactive minds are the same way.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

So Gandalfe, all three of us are actually younger than you. :)

Anonymous said...

"if I don't get enough sleep, I get sick."

Ah, yes, I forgot to mention that: sleep is paramount to our immune system, which is why we need more of it when we're sick. Also medically proven.

The clinical consequences of TOTAL sleep deprivation, more specifically the dream state of "paradoxal sleep", is simply death in a matter of days, from silent septicaemia. Basically, your own symbiotic bacteriae invade your bloodstream and whole body, which opposes no resistance, because the immune balance between the two is broken. Shattered. Sleep is vital, literally.

The central nervous system and the immune system: the only two which have life-long memory. And these two are closely linked. Fascinating.

"I was always taken for older by people seeing my art"

Ah, Eolake, you're a regular dirty old man, you are! :-D

Eolake: "I have such a hyper-active mind I can't imagine mindless anything."

I'm just incapable of being bored. My mind just won't stand still, when it has no outside stimulations it works on the inside.
Which is why creativity for me is a matter of survival. I just "can't not to"! I'd go bananas. ( ( ( ( (
"Go Cheeta, get banana,
Hey monkey, get funky!
Tarzan is handsome, Tarzan is strong...


How To Be Idle and How to Be Free. Both are written by Tom Hodgkinson, editor of The Idler.

A guy who wrote two books is a very bad rolemodel for laziness! ;-)

It's true, the wake of the Industrial Revolution (pun intended) established a never-before-seen dictatorship of "constant whitewater". If you don't act like Alice's Red queen, running breathless just to remain where you are, then you're goulag fodder and a traitor to the New Modern Society.
The new, very deeply messed-up in its mind society, and a gold mine for shrinks. I feel like it deliberately forces you into a pace where you never have time to think about what you are doing and why.
Haven't we been around that particular subject in a thread named "would you fast-forward your life"? Um... no, not very much at that time. "Rewind", "Replay".

Terry said...
"According to scripture it is [a sin]. Sorry to burst anybodies bubble but it's true."


It all depends on what you define as laziness, doesn't it? Isaac Newton invented the Theory of Gravitation while napping under an apple tree, when he got a falling fruit smack on his melon.
Besides, I'm not sure bursting bubbles can be called hard work either. ;-)

What Scripture could not mention, because for 1800 years nobody would have understood it, is that overworking your health and life away is also a sin. Kind of a slow suicide that first destroys the present, like alcoholism.
Which is why it's been aptly named "workaholism"...

Regarding Final's testimony: being a "morning person" or an "evening person" is also something one is born with and cannot change. It's part of our nature, and that's that. Hopefully, with the science of sleep progressing in giant strides, society will one day follow. But it might first require laws about adapting work conditions to individual physiology, so one can work at a later schedule if it simply fits them (in the literal sense). Nature is not our servant. Not even our own nature. Wrestling with it is not very different in spirit from challenging God on a basic level.
Final, you might want to seek an afternoon job. You know, something where you wouldn't mind staying at work after nightfall, provided you can get a reasonable amount of sleep calculated according to your somehow peculiar natural predisposition. (Alas, as you say you're not a "typical case", so you just need to adapt your life.) Good luck in finding an understanding prospective boss.

As for food, I'm going to flabbergast all of you again with an amazing revelation: unless you have a disorder like anorexia, bulimia or obesity (which is often linked to a twisted relationship with eating), your body knows when it should eat, so listen to it. In periods when I work a lot and can't sleep enough, I feel hungry almost all day long. The reason is simple: being much more active, my body knows and tells me it needs more energy. Being of normal average weight, I see no reason not to be cooperative. :-)
Becoming nervous/agressive is a very common symptom of hypoglycemia, so don't be surprised if hunger makes you a less patient person. ("You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry. Hulk mash potatoes!" ;-) Take a mental note, and remember to explain and apologize after you have filled your batteries, when you're back to your normal charming self.

"Office workers in general laud regularity, punctuality, and predictability."

Typical office workers in classic literature have been generally -and deservingly- compared to machines (or robots in more modern times). Especially in that they have no empathy for anybody who differs in nature. Bureaucratic routine amputates your soul. Bzzzt-bleep!

That conventional harassing of non-conforming sleepers is strangely reminding of other "ordinary" intolerances in today's society. It has become illegal to make a negative remark to the Black, Asian, Native, Homosexual, Divorced, Atheist, etc., so racist reflexes seem to shift to other, less obvious forms of differences. I get the feeling that the traditional "American melting pot" is still a steamroller of uniformity. Aspect and religion are illegal (and outdated) to reject? So now it relentlessly and exclusively hammers at "deviant" behaviors. Sure, it's nothing new, but I've seen it become more and more extreme at the end of the 20th century. Close a door and the Beast slithers through a window...

"Conventional wisdom says a fixed sleep schedule and only at night is necessary, but sorry, it simple does not work for me, I've tried it. And many people with hyperactive minds are the same way."

This is simply conventional realism, what you say. Even if the above is a general rule, it cannot be made universal. Especially with creative types, who are so notoriously unconventional in so many ways. (Not always as much as Dali, fortunately!)

"So Gandalfe, all three of us are actually younger than you. :)"

So, guys, gang, let's all give a warm cheer to our dynamic old pal Gandalfe, the wise ancient wizard with the staff and long beard! BTW, why that shift from grey to white? Your old duds were feeling dull? Or you finally changed for one of those magical detergents that are advertized in the Rectangle Crystal Ball?
"...And one Blog to reach them all."

Alex said...

I'd better pitch in.

38, need 7-8 hours. I've been getting by with 6-7 hours lately, but I can tell that and my eating schedule aren't helping.

If I'm not thinking at work, then I like to be thinking when I'm idle, be it writing, or reading, or playing games or making something.

As for scripture. I was on a project that was months late, and I was working 6 days @ 14 hrs, and Sunday only 6hrs. That was when I saw the merits to a sabbath. Sure, honour your god, honour him by respecting his gift to you, your body and your life. I don't think the being lazy sin means work yourself to death. It means pull your weight and do your fair share.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

"I don't think the being lazy sin means work yourself to death. It means pull your weight and do your fair share."

Well see, put that way I have no problems wit it at all.

Cliff Prince said...

... and on this subject ...

I just bought, read, and wildly cheered, the following:

The 4-Hour Workweek
Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich
Timothy Ferriss
Crown Publishers, New York, 2007
ISBN10 0-307-35313-3
ISBN13 978-0-307-35313-9

(Shorten the below URLs if the blog wraps them poorly, obviously)

at the publisher:
http://www.randomhouse.com/crown/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780307353139

at Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/4-Hour-Workweek-Escape-Live-Anywhere/dp/0307353133/

at Barnes and Noble:
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=9780307353139

Cheers. :)

Anonymous said...

final identity, I've just finished reading the book.

I second the recommendation! Very inspiring.

Anonymous said...

Alex,
You were right to pitch in.
(Was that concise enough? ;-)

Final,
You cheered so much, now it's visible on your photo!
Ever heard of moderation, man? Take it easy! :-)

Regarding Scripture:
I seem to remember the sabbath rest was instated precisely when the Hebrews were overworked slaves. So yes, it definitely feels legitimate! I can relate.

Anonymous said...

Close a door and the Beast slithers through a window...

It happens to me all the time. Can't go into details but it does.
I agree with all the bloggers who mentioned that doing too much work can mess you up mentally and physically.........but not working at anything is extremely dangerous and quite unhealthy.
My Father always worked an "honest" five, six day work week. He taught me well, but it was my beloved Mother who taught me about loving my neighbor and introducing me to my greatest friend ever..........My Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ (God in Flesh) my everything.
My sweet Jesus, lover of my soul and my Master of Salvation who I gladly bow before at this very moment in time. Had it not been for my loving Christ I'd be dead or in prison to this day.
I owe HIM EVERYTHING! And I am not ashamed to admit that My Lord Jesus has shown me what being a decent and loving man is all about and forgiving others who have hurt me beyond everything.
I love you Jesus. I'm sorry for all those times I've let you down.
You carry me and hold me up even when the demons and other foes try to destroy me.

Anonymous said...

In this year's TED, there was a talk by Carl Honore about this very subject. It's called Slowing down in a world built for speed (video).

Carl Honore is a known advocator of what has become known as "The Slow Movement". He's written a book about it called: "In Praise of Slowness: Challenging the Cult of Speed".

Haven't read the book but the clip is worth a watch.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Thanks for the tip.

Cliff Prince said...

It's not just the cult of speed that this thread is perpetuating ...

Alex said...

I just finally noticed Pascals 23 page essay here.

In California, or rather "The Valley", Silicon Valley, we have realised peoples differing sleep routines and try to accomodate them. There are only two points where this fell flat, one was trying to get conference calls between CA and IDC (India Design Center), and trying to perform regression tests between the last engineer logging off at 1 am, and the first starting at 6:30 am. We do still have office core hours of 10am to 4pm so on site meetings and callaboration can happen.

Here we have our own prejudices though, be it confined to the age old threat of job security from off shoring design work, and the passionate beliefs in certain OS's or hardware platforms.

Anonymous said...

I know I am getting to this a bit late, but I am just finally catching up on reading!

As some of you may know, I was unemployed last year for 5 months, then I got a job starting in January. Well, I got fired in June. The reason the boss gave me was I was out sick too much. Well, this office has a poisonous atmosphere that was very stressful to me. Besides that, the person training me, didn't realize that people learn things in different ways and he seemed to think I was unable to learn the job, because I couldn't learn fast enough with his methods of imparting his years of knowledge in this position. So, I was having more and more migraines and working in spite of the pain, just popping my Maxalt or Relpax and praying it would either go away or dull it enough to continue. Then in February, I tore my right rotator cuff, pounding ice dams off the edge of my roof so the 18 inch thick ice wouldn't damage my roof anymore than it already had. So, I was seeing my doctor and chiropractor a lot to get my arm in a somewhat usable state. BTW, it is still hurting and I think I may need surgery. I haven't had an MRI yet, but all the work and therapy hasn't helped it much.

So, I know this is almost as long as something Pascal might write and I am not just complaining either, but I am slowly getting to the point that I am not suitable for today's working hours either. Last year and now, while I am not working, my body goes back to its own cycles and I have hardly any migraines. The two that I have had since I left work have been shorter and less intense. (Pascal MD, just so you know, I am on Amitryptalin as a preventative at 75mg 1XDay. I was on 50mg 1XDay plus 100mg Topamax 2XDay, but the Topomax was very bad for me and made me very depressed, anxious, confused and stupid, part of what may have been my downfall as well at that job). So, I am very alike Final in my sleep. My boyfriend gets up and I wake up a bit then, but I usually sleep several hours after sunrise and go to sleep at 10:00 or 11:00 or sometimes midnight. I do my best thinking after 4:00 p.m. I feel much more awake and alive in the afternoon. Maybe because I was born at 4:12p.m.? Anyway, I usually sleep (when not having to get up for anything) 10-12 hours. I am also like Final about hunger. If I don't get food when I need it, I am lightheaded, nauseous, and downright bitchy (as much as I ever am, which isn't much). Most people who see me at my worst would never call me cranky or bitchy, but I feel it inside. When I am hungry, it actually hurts sometimes. I can't think of anything else but the need to find food.

As you can see, my natural cycles really don't fit in with the "norm" and it has always been a struggle for me, especially in the military. Talk about rigid! If I don't get the sleep, I can't function. I am clumsy and make stupid mistakes. I can't believe I've survived this long in the military! I guess I am paying for it now with my migraines, asthma, and dysthymia. I am just turning 40 in two weeks and I have all this! I have found that I am much more myself when I don't have to work or if I could do something that let me work at my own schedule and speed and still pay enough to cover my mortgage, car payment and all those other bills!