Saturday, September 08, 2007

Jokes, how do they arrive?

I suspect that like crop circles, jokes are generated by the collective mind, arriving spontaneously without any human help.

Professional comedians and writers say that none of them writes any of all those jokes that circulate, and none of them ever met anybody who does.

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On the first day of college, the Dean was addressing the students, pointing out some of the rules:

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

From the back of the room, a male student raised his hand and inquired, "How much for a season pass?"

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Things to Ponder:

1. Cows
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of
Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country.
Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

2. The Constitution
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.

3. The Ten Commandments
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:
You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery," and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...It creates a hostile work environment!

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Bright kid...

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: "There's a car being towed from the parking lot", he shouted.

A few moments passed ... "An ambulance just drove by". A few moments later,"Looks like the Anderson's have company", he called out.

"Matt's riding a new bike....." A few moments later, 'Looks like the Sanders are moving." "Jason is on his skate board...."

A few more moments, "The Coopers are having sex!!"

Startled, his Mom and Dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out, "How do you know they are having sex?"

"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle, too."

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

It would be a really interesting experience in sociology to try and launch one of those jokes...

To be honest, many of the contextual jokes that set off in Lebanon, following the political actuality for instance, are adaptations of old classics I've known for years.
After having read a 2-volume Dictionary of Jokes (2470 items), I discovered that new AND funny ones are not as many as you'd think.

Anonymous said...

Do the women in Lebanon still wear handlebar mustaches?

Anonymous said...

Do androids dream of electric sheep?

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Actually, in high school, there was a girl in my class with no chin... and scarce inch-long beard hair! (Yikes.)
The wort thing is, I heard that today she's become a TEACHER in our former school. No fib.
Poor kids... Or lucky them, if they like "hairy women" jokes!

Say, Anon, do you think we went to the same school, for you to know about Miss F.Z.?

Handlebars are out for lady mustaches these days. Bleaching is in. Gotta keep up with fashion!

Not to brag, but Lebanon once produced a crowned Miss World pageant queen, Georgina Rizk. In the days of the "smooth" look.