Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Beating a dead horse

[Thanks to Ian]
Dakota Native American tribal wisdom, passed on from generation to generation, says:
"When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount and get a different horse."

However, in government, more modern strategies are often employed, such as:

1. Buying a stronger whip.

2. Changing riders.

3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.

4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.

5. Lowering the standards so that the dead horse can be included.

6. Reclassifying the dead horse as 'living impaired'.

7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.

9. Providing additional funding and / or training to increase dead horse's performance.

10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.

11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overheads and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.

12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.

13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This sounds soooo familiar, for some reason...

2. Changing riders.

Oh, how I wish!

3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.

And ignoring the results of the study. That part's important.

4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.

And ignoring all lessons learned.

8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.

Now making twice as much progress as the previous none at all.

Anonymous said...

A friend of mine once signed in a riding club in Lebanon, for a very reasonable fee. He was told that it's all no-hassle, just go in, pick a horse, saddle it up, and ride. Like a self-service, if you like. Lebanese style.

So, the first day, he went there, entered the stables, picked a horse, and minutes later he was riding. But all didn't go smoothly. After 500 metres, suddenly the horse fell and laid motionless. My friend realized it wad dead!

He hurried back to the stables on foot, spotted a lad, and started telling him about the incident. The lad wasn't impressed. "No problem, sir. Just take another horse. But you'll have to bring back the saddle that remained there, okay?"

Well, no problem? No problem! He took another horse, and off he went a-riding again. After 300 metres, PLOOP! the new horse falls dead too.

My friend took off the saddle, he went galoomphing back to the stables AGAIN, and called the lad. "No problem, sir. Nobody's blaming you, right? Just take another horse and don't worry. This is a relaxed place."

A little perplexed, he decided to look at the horses carefully, to pick which one looked the stoutest, and he was about to fasten the saddle on its back when suddenly the lad rushed in: "Please, sir, no. Not the one in the middle. -Why not? -Because it's the one holding all the others up!"

14. Changing stables?