Friday, June 15, 2007


I never played with dolls, sorry, "action figures". And so I was never a Transformers fan. I saw the old Transformers animated film a few months ago because it's well regarded and some of the great voice work was sampled in one of my favorite songs, Decepticons. But I didn't much like it, it was and stayed a childrens animated film about toys.
But it is clear that the upcoming live action film will be much different. At least visually, it's very sophisticated. Amazing in fact. (Not that it's an indication of quality, but they say that the robots have more individual parts than anything done before.) Unless it gets terrible reviews, I'll probably see it once it comes out on DVD. ("The killer robot is really distracting!" Hehe.)


Anonymous said...

another childrens movie. yawn. they just can't create anything of substance. the old shit is recycled into new trash and we're suppose to be impressed? please already.
you can't reinvent the wheel. they have no clue anymore. none whatsoever. double yawn. nap time.

Anonymous said...

And here above, whe have a live example of Anonymous Prime, who transforms from enthusiastic post to bored comment.
I'm amazed at the special effects this must've taken!

This specific Disappointicon is unique, in that according to its file it doesn't transform back. I expect the toys for this model to be extremely popular...

Autobots, transform and ROLL OUT! We have a movie premiere to catch. Woohoo! Va-room!
Ka-chow, baby.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with you, Eo, I saw the animated movie a while ago, and I'm a huge fan (with an impressive collection), but I found its last part to be quite disappointing. I mean, a super-foe that's completely invincible, transforms into a useless form for no clear reason, and suddenly becomes unable to do a single thing against the good guys? Bah.

I hope the action figure will look as nice as the movie.
Say, Anon, the Transformers do not claim to reinvent the wheel, only the car and the robot. Nap if you will, but please don't snore, there are kids who want to watch it. ;-)
Plus, I have to watch too. Uncle Pascal is expected to explain every plot hole once the movie's over, you know!

Anonymous said...

"the old shit is recycled into new trash"

I must say, this is actually funny if you think about it. These realistic Transformers DO look somehow like scrap parts from a junkyard recycled into modern art.

Anonymous said...

I never played with dolls, sorry, "action figures".

Sure sure, tell us more stories Uncle Eolake. You seem to be drawn to children's movies a lot. Is there something that did or did not happen in your own childhood?
You seem fixated on childrens stuff. Or do you suffer from the Peter Pan Syndrome? Are you in touch with adulthood?
We're very curious? If you don't want to answer the questions then we'll still have our answers. This is by no means intended to be insulting to you at all, please understand this.
We like your blog and your soft porn site and think you're basically ok for an englishman. We never really believed you were a racist either. Those others who labled you that were mistaken.
You corrected your error in judgement by removing that questionable photograph.
We hope you'll explain the need to satisfy a desire through perhaps a second childhood fantasy?
Take good care of yourself Uncle.
We still like you in spite of what others may say. Okay?
Bye bye for now.

Anonymous said...

"the old shit is recycled into new trash"

Well said! Bravo! Hollywood is out of ideas! Too many sequels, prequels, old stories transformed into new but TRANSPARENT movies.
Such a waste of film.
There's nothing new under the sun.

Anonymous said...

Or do you suffer from the Peter Pan Syndrome? Are you in touch with adulthood?

It's none of your buzzwax dudes. If the dude is into toys and kid flicks and isn't harming children or adults let him alone.

Anonymous said...

Say, Anon, the Transformers do not claim to reinvent the wheel, only the car and the robot.

It's a figure of speech young lady.

Anonymous said...

When I first heard they were making a Live-Action Transformers I thought, "Oh no! They're going to ruin it" Now, I have say the special effects look amazing, the robots look great. BUT THATS NOT MY TRANSFORMERS!!!! What the hell? They look like they've been re-designed by H.R. Giger. The only redeeming factor this movie has going for it is that they've managed to get the original voices for it and George Clooney is not Optimus Prime as was rumoured.
Holywood should stay the hell away from my childhood.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Dear water serpents & co.,

(I am Danish, not English, though I currently live in the UK.)

I try not to put any artificial barriers between me and life. I like soft music and hard music, I like pop music and I like weird music. I like films for old people, films for adults, and films for children.

Anonymous said...

"Are you in touch with adulthood?"

Yeah, Uncle Eolake, should we report you to the police for being sexually attracted by adults? As suggested by "your soft porn site"?
"WE" ask for the truth, no matter how dark. The NAKED truth.

We bet when you give a toy train to a child at Christmas, you are the one to play the most with it the first day. Very disturbing, we believe. We've never seen a grown man act that way...

Anonymous said...
"It's a figure of speech young lady."

Again with the lady stuff? I'm not even GAY, for Pete's sake!
What, is it my voice? The way I walk, perhaps? Tell me, please, I need to know.

Darn, I knew I shouldn't have shaved that goatee a week ago. Now, *I* am the one having a grave identity crisis. Who am I? What am I? Am I Pascal? Or Eolake? Am I the only person on this blog, and have I been talking to only myself all these months? Oh, Mirror on the wall, help me out!

"George Clooney is not Optimus Prime as was rumoured."

WHAT?!?!? Then who on Earth is that heroic robot's alter-ego in civilian life? Larry King? Clark Kent? Claude Kaine the 3rd? Or (gasp!) *ME*, again?

And just who is this Doctor Who, BTW? He never seems to have the same face twice.
Perhaps another of my multiple disorderly personalities.
I need help. Anybody got Dr Leonard Samson's number? One of me ("me's"?) seems to have misplaced it again.
Which is beginning to sound like a very suspicious freudian slip.

Aagh! I feel the change coming again. Hurry, mister, hyde! You won't liKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY...

Anonymous said...

They should have named this movie "Transforminators".

Wouldn't one of this robots happen to speak with an Austrian accent, ach ya? :)

Alex said...

Pascal, pascal & Pascal,

I thought my post about Dr Who was on a different website. Dr Who was once Portrayed by Peter Cushing, also known for being in "Star Wars", but there he didn't have a police phone box.

I think that toys are wasted on children, they don't keep them "mint in box", so they get chipped and damaged.

For those of us without our fingers on the pulse, Dr Who toys are available from Corgi (or at least were around last December).

As for films, considering the sheer volume of titles put out over the last 120 years, you're bound to get a few repeats.

Oh, I just remembered, I was looking in a magazine the other day, possibly "Construction Truck Monthly" or some such, and they had a new type of wheel there, specially for off road trucks, the most interesting thing I'd seen since I saw tri star wheels (remember "Damnation Alley").

Hmm, a soft porn site, that'd be interesting to see, if it's half as good as the Domai site, then it'd be a treat.

Anonymous said...

Hmm, a soft porn site, that'd be interesting to see, if it's half as good as the Domai site, then it'd be a treat.

say what you will, but domai is soft porn like playboy. it's worth looking at. i'm dogging it dude but where there's naked girls there's porn.

I think that toys are wasted on children, they don't keep them "mint in box", so they get chipped and damaged.

alex, toys are for kids or have you forgotten? when you buy a new adult toy like a cell phone or headset or corvette, do you leave it wrapped up or never driven? I doubt it.
keep it real man, no snowballing no moe! lol.

Anonymous said...

I thought soft porn, by contrast with nudes and simple "erotica", was sexual acts either performed or simulated, that simply do not show the genitals "in action". As opposed to "hardcore", precisely. I believe I have an official "soft porn" channel somewhere on satellite.

It would seem to this disturbed persona of mine that once again, you make a hasty amalgam between simple nudity (in present case, without any deliberate suggestiveness like kinky poses or strip-tease) and actual porn, which is defined by sex, or at least "what Pres. Clinton din't consider to be actual sex". Well, I think you catch my drift!

Then also, it might just be me, since I think I forgot to take my pills today. Or did another one of me take them?
Questions, questions. This whole Universe is just one astronomically huge question mark. I wish I could just will it to vanish!
Say, Pascal, do you think I could find a self-help book to aid me/us?
- Why, Pascal, I believe there are some. Ask Eolake.
- But, aren't YOU Eolake?
- I thought that way you.
- Sorry guys, I believe I am Eolake.
- No, you're all wrong! *I* am... uh, scratch that. I just remembered, I'm Spartacus.
- Hi, Spartacus. My, how strong and manly you are. I am Cleopatra, queen of all Egypt...

As for toys, I'm sure there must be somewhere in that unkempt mess one or several inner children that would fully justify mine. But I'll have to do some mining do dig them up.
Ooh, is that... A GOLD TOOTH? Yip-pee, ah'm rich, ah'm rich! Yee-haw! BANG! BANG! Woo-hee! Hey, Woody, lookie here, ah've found sumpin' at last! Gawsh-durnit, I KNEW it was worth coming out of mah box with mah pick.

Anonymous said...

I was exactly the right age for the original Transformers cartoon, and collected the toys as did every single other kid I knew (at least the boys). However, everyone I knew who saw the cartoon movie both loved it and hated it. Hated it because they killed off so many great characters in about five seconds when the Decepticons hadn't managed to kill anyone in the entire run of the TV show up to that point.

It was a classic moment when Starcream throws Megatron out into space.

The movie was the beginning of the end. We all kind of lost interest at that point.

That said, I am not all that impressed with what I have seen so far of the new live action movie. I will probably wait until it is out on DVD. Or maybe I should go and see it just in case it rocks. If nothing else they at least are having the original Prime and Megatron voices. If they didn't have that, I wouldn't even think about going.

Anonymous said...

I think I might have to get an account, so that I don't get lumped in with this other anonymous guy here... And hey, what's wrong with a little Peter Pan syndrome?! I don't collect toys, but I love comic books, cartoons, children's movies, some classic children's books - as well as a great deal of things adult.

Alex said...

I'll come straight. I started collecting Matchbox more seriously when I outgrew playing with them. Some I wanted were the bigger Dinky's I couldn't afford as a kid, and got as a collector later.

I am finding an interesting shift in the market, possibly because I'm living in a different continent as a dad, than I did as a kid, but there are a lot of "toy" cars aimed at my age group. Sure HotWheels and Matchbox are still only $1 each, a magic price point they hit in the mid 80's and never passed! There are now a lot of trucks and cars either with a finer paint job,or more detailed moulding that run about $5 for a 1/72nd.

I love seeing my kids enjoy their toys, but I am frustrated when the kids opt for a more expensive finer finish which is not a durable toy. Siku from Germany make some lovely toys, but they have migrated to more collectible, a big rig tow truck we got for our 5yr old is now severely broken, my Siku's of 25 yrs ago have only lost the occasional wing mirror.

I am also frustrated that so many toys, which used to be picked up for a song at jumble sales now find their way into overpriced collectors shops.

And yes, I know people who have parked up their Corvettes, bringing them out only on sunny summer weekends to polish and shine. What was that line from Ulysses "not rust unburnished, but gleam with use".

Anonymous said...

A friend of mine has a huge G.I. Joe collection - but only of the 1980s 3 3/4 inch ones, the ones he wanted as a kid and couldn't afford to have.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous#2 said...
"I love comic books, cartoons, children's movies, some classic children's books - as well as a great deal of things adult."

Yeah, you gotta admit, having access to adult stuff can be very pleasant sometimes.
And thank Odin they still haven't made a law called "no over 18 allowed"! :-)

P.S.: Numbuh two, no need for an account. Do as I do (and as I say as well!): click the "Other" option in the middle, then just enter your name, credit card number, fave anterak, or whatever you want to be known as.

Alex said...
"Sure HotWheels and Matchbox are still only $1 each"

Lucky you! In spite of the much lower average income in Lebanon, they cost $1,7-$2 here. Not that I'm really complaining. Since Marvel has left Toy Biz to have their action figures made by Hasbro, they've become smaller, less articulated, and markedly more expensive all at once!
Good thing my dream collection is virtually complete! Who needs the movie's Sandman, when I have two far better ones from the comic version?

I hope the Transformers movie toys are more interesting...

I don't just store them away, either. Out of their boxes, but enjoyed with all due care, all of them are practically in mint condition. It's not a collection for sale or investing either. Purely for pleasure.

But, as my mom says, I'd better think about getting married, because some day I'm gonna make somebody very happy. Or "many bodies", given the quantity of my "treasures"!

(As IF, Mom! I'll buy doubles for the kids if they really want to have their way with what Daddy likes!)

Sometimes, I already buy doubles for customizing. I'll soon have a black-costume movie Spider-Man better than any "official" one, with that extra figure from the second film (it came with Spidey's pizza-delivery-and-firing bike, I've always wanted one of these). Heck, I even modded a Max Steel to give him my face, and the likeness is perfect according to neutral opinions!
A little workout, and the BODY likeness will be okay too. :-)

[Heh] I could produce my own stop-motion adult film with Barbie, if I were into this sort of stuff. But I hate that walking propaganda for anorexia and silicone. (To think she dumped Ken for some peroxydized aussie surfer. Bimbo!)

Her horse is nice, though. The Eighties realistic version, I mean. Beautiful. Had it as a kid, and kept it in perfect condition.
I wish there were more realistic animal action figures with articulations!
Some of the Beast Wars Transformer toys were nice, though.

P.S.: For cool car fans, I suggest you check Majorette's "Fiction Planet" collection, a brand owned by Mattel now. Nice Sci-Fi concepts. There are big boxes with the complete 20-model series, too.
I bought me an "adult toy" version: it's less sturdy, but that's because it's radio-controlled, with miniature electronics. :-)

Gotta keep it away from the cat, though... Or it'll do like this Mad Magazine parody: "Car transforms into a pile of scrap".

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

What Sandman movie?

Alex said...

Majorettes are almost impossible to get over here. I have a great collection of Majorette Mercedes work trucks, all beaten up because they were well played with.

Matchbox got bought up by Mattel a few years ago. Didn't know Majorette did as well. I'll have a look at the web site if it exists.

As for Barbie, I prefer Skipper, not so anorexic looking, more credible. I did think about collecting Barbie cars when she got that Mustang back in '95.

Anonymous said...

It's on the package of my latest models:

"What Sandman movie?"

That's Sandman, a villain of the Spider-Man 3 movie.
I saw the big sized (and very expensive) action figures yesterday at a supermarket. The ones I have are definitely nicer. I'm not the greedy amassing type who wants to have everything.

Alex, I happen to have a few cars of that scale, including Barbie's New Beetle. I found it at an interesting price, and it's not just a "Barbie toy". I like the New Beetle. :-)

I've managed, by some extraordinary luck, to find some femimine 30cm action figures which are very realistic in shape, face and other proportions. I'm far from parity, but it's nice to not be forced into a macho, all-male collection, and one that would become ambiguous in terms of sexual orientation. ;-)

I recommend you keep an open eye for a brand called "Power Team Elite". It's recent, it's top quality, and it's amazingly inexpensive. They also have a 10cm series. Essentially military characters, but very nice for a connoisseur.

For some darn cultural reason, female action figures are extremely rare here in Lebanon. The importer works in the whole arab world region. It's not that they have a taboo about female dolls, we have a plethora of Barbies, Sindies, Bratz, My Scenes... along with their rather effeminate-looking BFs. (I'd take that Ken any day with my hands tied behind my back. He has almost no muscles, the sissy!) But I guess the cultural taboo is elsewhere, and people in the region feel that boys won't want to play with girl figures. In spite of the fact that the very few select ones to make it to this country LITERALLY fly off the shelves on the first day. ):-P

Ah well, our politicians aren't the only very stupid people in charge. Salespeople don't know their own interest much better.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

"In spite of the fact that the very few select ones to make it to this country LITERALLY fly off the shelves on the first day."

Literally? Do they have functioning wings, or have they mastered anti-gravity already?

(Sorry, you just hit one of my pet peeves. :)

Alex said...

And there was me gong to try Thanks

Anonymous said...

Eolake said...
"Literally? Do they have functioning wings, or have they mastered anti-gravity already?
(Sorry, you just hit one of my pet peeves. :)"

Then my aim is improving! ;-)
Literally, they're gone before I can hope to get close in time, like so many wild sparrows. Quite likely up, up and away. Super-heroine action figures do have the power of flight sometimes, you know...

Sorry for inflicting pain on one of your pets. Did I literally DO that? ;-)

Fortunately, being mistaken for a girl is not one of my pet peeves. It's a pet something allright, since I can't seem to shake it off and it always follows me home. But it doesn't peeve me. :-)

Anonymous said...

Anybody who watched the original Transformers cartoon will love this parody:

It is based on "The Return of Optimus Prime" when he came back to life.

Anonymous said...

Good one, Joe Dick. :-)
Feels much more realistic then the "classic" dialogue.