Thursday, June 21, 2007

Looking

It's a trifecta! This one is one I've been meaning to post for a few days now. So we might as well make a trilogy out of it:
One more about women:

To the women amongst my readers: Do you mind getting looked at/admired?
It seems some do, and some don't. And some seem in a split mind about it. For example my older sister said it was a relief to get middle-aged, because the men weren't paying so much attention anymore. On the other hand, she also said to our young pretty cousin: "enjoy the admiration while you can, it won't last forever."

And if the "depends", what does it depend upon? Respect? Intensity? Duration? His appearance? How he "feels"?

27 comments:

Hannah said...

I don't think I get admired - if I do, I don't notice. But I bet I don't really. The only guys who ever pay attention are the ones who are foreigners, usually with bad manners, which generally makes it a bad feeling.

I suppose if I was admired by the people I'd like to be admired by, it would be nice, so long as it didn't happen too often and not too much attention was called.

Cristina Rodguez said...

To me, if it's coming from strangers, I don't mind it but it means very little to me and I don't go for it. But if it's coming from friends, people who know and appreciate me, then I love it and cherish it.

laurie said...

If a guy is coming from his Neanderthal nature, and he ogles me, it feels dirty and I ignore. If a man is coming from his intelligence, from his Spirit, and there is Consciousness there -- and he compliments me, even if it's a flirty nature I love it, because it's the sharing of something real, its really a sharing of MINDS. This has nothing really to do with what a guy looks like, how old he is, what kind of physical shape he's in, etc. It's his mind.

a personal note: when I in a phase of not taking care of myself, 30 lbs. overweight, wearing baggy clothes, not bothering with my hair, etc. I judged most guys who looked at women's appearances and commented on it as perverted. It's because I was afraid of my own beauty, the power of it within me. I also judged women who let their *sexy* nature show, who dressed even the slightest provocatively, as "loose", "superficial", and not *deep* or spiritual, like me. This was also in my Church-religious phase. When I became truly religious and stopped going to church (just my path, not commenting on others), when God revealed in me how incredibly beautiful this body was, I lost all the weight, began dressing attractively in clothes I loved, let my hair grow, and began opening up to all people, you can say I began flirting with LIFE. I started dance classes, got really fit, and got many more comments and glances from men. I started welcoming it! I was finally happy with myself.

Laurie

Anonymous said...

Intelligence? Spirit?! When a guy looks at a woman like that, he's thinking with his dick.

Anonymous said...

Hannah said...
"I suppose if I was admired by the people I'd like to be admired by, it would be nice, so long as it didn't happen too often and not too much attention was called."


So, basically, it feels nice, but you're a bit shy.
Nothing that a bit of finesse in a man couldn't overcome for mutual satisfaction. :-)
P.S.: Your avatar is playing hide-and-seek again.

Oh, incidentally: that "modern cult" toward long slender feminine bodies? It's indeed as arbitrary as a cult like Hairy Krishna. In reality all tastes are found in men. Young, older, skinny, fat, tall, petite, with a big butt, androgynous, or "perfectly average"...
It's just unfortunate that rude and primitive guys are so visible, because "they just don't care as long as she's easy". It's a contrast artefact, you feel they are more numerous than in reality, like all annoyances.

"If a guy is coming from his Neanderthal nature", as Laurie aptly puts it. I bet another problem comes from proportions, because there must be far more Neanderthal men than the sort of women they seek.
Conclusion: the Neanderthals must evolve, or deal with frustration. :-P

It's not easy at all to look at girls in Lebanon. Firstly, because the Neanderthal syndrome is so widespread. And secondly, because of their social staus and position many women/girls are deeply insecure and neurotic. Therefore they'll be craving attention, but at the same time won't stand it unless you manage to "be" exactly the kind of guy they *think* they need. That is, one that will spare them having to question their own self-perception. Ideally, a Casanova bith a big car, big money, etc. "Something that makes them look good and successful."

Anonymous said...

"In reality all tastes are found in men. Young, older, skinny, fat, tall, petite, with a big butt, androgynous, or "perfectly average"..."

I wish more women were aware of this. That kind of knowledge could stop a lot of eating disorders.

Cliff Prince said...

I think women who know they're attractive are certainly aware of the "admiration" (leers?) of most men. They use it. Against men, in fact.

Anonymous said...

They use it. Against men, in fact.

so true. it happens all the time. they rule the world with whats between their legs. men will buy it, trade for it, lavish it, anything for it. women know that and yes will always use it agaisn't men.
i've been there, done that. though it's just flesh, it's technically gold for most men. no argument here, just total and complete understanding.

Anonymous said...

its really a sharing of MINDS.

uh-huh, and the tent in his pants aren't green either.

laurie said...

final identity and knowing the rules,

Neanderthal women are no better than Neanderthal men. I am talking about those who have risen above that.

anonymous and cut to the chase,
I can go there. My boyfriend and I go there all the time. We're raunchy with the best of them, and we laugh a lot. But in the big picture, and with the people I hang out with, men and women are a tad more than what's in their pants.

respectfully
laurie

Anonymous said...

But in the big picture, and with the people I hang out with, men and women are a tad more than what's in their pants.
laurie

that world doesn't exist. everybody knows that.

Anonymous said...

"that world doesn't exist. everybody knows that."

Sure it does. You just have to look a little closer.

"They use it. Against men, in fact."

Only if you let them. Like I've said before, most of my friends are female. Most of them are attractive and have great, fun personalities as well. I'm sorry if some people here have past experiences that seem contradictory to that. Maybe instead of blaming the opposite sex for your problems, you should try taking responsibility for what happened and move on with your life. Trust me, you'll feel a lot better.

Anonymous said...

that world doesn't exist. everybody knows that.

It's factual. Anybody saying anything to the contrary are only fooling themselves. Women play games constantly. Some use the mind and or body games and both when needed. I know, I've been around for over 50 years.
It doesn't change, will never change.

you should try taking responsibility for what happened and move on with your life. Trust me, you'll feel a lot better.

I have moved on Jess, but my eyes remain wide-open. It's THEIR RESPONSIBILITY for PLAYING THOSE SILLY SEX GAMES not mine.
Also, I feel fine. That's why I only see call girls. You know the price before you take the dive then you get to leave and not have to put up with the ass-kissing and bitching the other 23 hours.

Anonymous said...

Lol, okay dude, it's all the girls' fault. Obviously, men don't have any strange, unexplainable behaviors. I'm sure there's never been a dude that said, "Oh my God, she has a vagina, I must do as she commands!" Nope, never happens.

Hey man, even if the girl's playing games, you're still the one that fell for it. Ass-kissing and bitching a problem? Then don't put up with it. A girl can only hurt you emotionally if you let her, and she can only take your money if you let her. I always let girls know where I stand from the beginning, and after that, it's not a problem. I'm not scared of getting my feelings hurt, and money isn't important enough to me to let that stop me. Whatever happens, I know I'll survive.

But hey, if call girls are your thing, that's fine, I'm not going to judge. We obviously have two very different views of the world. Good luck in your fight against half the human race.

Anonymous said...

Good luck in your fight against half the human race.

He'll need more than "luck" to survive this. He'll need a heart of stone, shoulders as wide as California and removeable electrodes after she has brainwashed his mind.
He speaks for me as well.

Anonymous said...

"that world doesn't exist. everybody knows that."

Whaaaat?!? You mean all those years I've been living in an illusion, while there is only Sex, and more Sex?
Then where does this "affection" thing come from, if it doesn't exist?
(Sniff!) Now my head hurts!

"They use it. Against men, in fact."
Only if you let them.


Dang, dude, you speak good. Golden words.

"That kind of knowledge could stop a lot of eating disorders."

Gold in stereo. :-)

"Women play games constantly."

And men just want to bed them. That's the law of Nature in Neanderthalia, where men take by force and women connive. That was 50,000 years ago. Since then, some of us, in both genders, have evolved and developed what we colloquially call "sense".
I'm seeking an evolved woman. Call me picky, but they exist. I met one, five years ago, at work. Friendship and mutual respect developed over six months, then she had to leave. I realized if we saw each other more her many qualities would likely be the perfect ingredient for love to hatch. Alas, she was already taken. Involved with some lucky (or smart) guy I didn't know of. Fortunately for me, I wasn't yet at the point where my heart was captive. I simply knew I had met a very interesting person, and when I told her so, she was very touched.
I'm sure she wasn't the last of her breed, so I'm keeping my hopes up. "They" exist, my fellow sensible men, "they" are out there, all we have to do is look carefully and spot them. There could be one of "them" anywhere, right next to you.
Trust me, I've seen one. Talked to her. Even hugged her. There are diamonds amidst the mud, but we have to dig for them. Those splatters that keep jumping at the bottom of your pants? That's the mud. There's lots of it.

P.S.: The very same can be said to the women, naturally. Look carefully, ladies who have the knowledge, for "we" are out there too. :-)

Everybody plays games. Women just play with less brutally obvious rules, that's all. Everybody plays, and yet not everybody plays. Not all women, not all men. But you try and notice a pacifist on a battlefield! Too much distraction, too much noise. You don't notice them unless you really make the effort to search. Nothing truly precious comes that easily, and one must seek long what is rare. If you just take notice of the smokescreen, you'll miss what indeed was awaiting you beyond it, because you'll have turned around.

This is not simply my belief, my faith. It is knowledge. It is fully reliable.
But you won't be convinced if you don't persevere enough and see for yourself.

Anonymous said...

"shoulders as wide as California"???

OMG OMG OMG, its... it's... Eek! ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER!!!!
SQUEE!

(Swoons)

Anonymous said...

Nothing truly precious comes that easily, and one must seek long what is rare.

You're just another dreamer. But keep your dreams because that is all there is. Still, sadly I feel for you, believing in something that no longer exists.

Anonymous said...

It doesn't change, will never change.

very well put.

laurie said...

jes, well said.

Pascal, that was nice. You clearly will get what you're putting out, a refined loving mind, tremendous sense of humor,
and an understanding of women that goes far beyond blogs.


evolved women are in fact everywhere. Clarification, try bringing humanity to one of your "call girls" by listening - she's much more than that. Inside she is also a Domai woman of course. But "it is only with the heart that one can see rightly: what is essential is invisible to the eye."
St. Antoine de E.

Anonymous said...

So... "I've seen it, touched it, even hugged it", but it doesn't exist and I'm a dreamer? (I admit, I'm a dreamer ANYWAY :-)
Well, if I'm dreaming, please nobody wake me up. I'm very happy floating on my cotton candy cloud among the bread-and-butterflies, the singing flowers and the blue diamantines!

Besides, if both options are a matter of opinion/belief, I'd rather be a dreaming optimist than a realistic pessimist. Feel free to disagree if you prefer your chocolate bitter, to each his own. :-)

And if I'm right, the more who don't believe me, the more opportunities for me to meet fine women. It's a win-win situation.
Sorry, guys, I'm just not "into" this disgruntled stuff. Are you sure I need to be felt for? Shoot the talcum to me, Malcolm!

"Buzz, YOU-ARE-A-TOY!
- And you are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. Farewell."
-- (Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story)

Anonymous said...

Well, I am a guy but I just want to ask you, Eolake, if you had a wife, and if she admired continuously to other men, won't you feel jealous? Most people say that, as a guy, if you admire a woman who's someone else's wife you are doing a great sin, since admiration and is being getting attracted to her. They also ask me, if my mother and sister were wondering nude, won't I fell outraged about it. I am now feeling guilty after some girl just said that wher education is concerned, shring is concerned but in sexual relationship, when a married guy looks at some other girl with admiration, he is wrong. When I confronted her, then she asked me on why am I teaching the people about civilisation since I am the most uncivilised and ill-mannered guy in the college and I do behave badly. Thats why, I am now confused. All call me that I am far behind and say that I am a person of B.C. What shall I do now?

Anonymous said...

Eolake, shring is concerned has to be changed to sharing is caring.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Maybe you should talk to a trusted teacher or the school counsellor.

Anonymous said...

There is also a saying that, a guy is not supposed to look at a girl other than his blood-related ones with admiration unless when he is attracted to it. Well, if I ask to my school counsellor if the above statement is true, then he or she will agree with me. But, the bottom line is, won't you feel outraged, if you had a wife whom you love and she continouously admires some other gus beauty?

Anonymous said...

There is also a saying that, a guy is not supposed to look at a girl other than his blood-related ones with admiration unless when he is attracted to her. Well, if I ask to my school counsellor about whether he/she agrees with the above statement, then he or she will agree with me. But, the bottom line is, won't you feel outraged, if you had a wife whom you love and she continouously admires some other guys beauty?

Anonymous said...

Sorry the one which is I typed on 2.08A.M is corrected question.