Saturday, August 26, 2006

Socializing, really that important?

In a comment to the last post, Bram wrote:
"Socialising should probably mean more to me, but I'm turning into an anti-social *insert favourite swear word*"

This is something I've been thinking about lately. Because we are generally brought up to believe that socializing and "going out" are some very important things to do, and the more the better. But... I am doing less and less of both. This I might consider just a Phase, but... the same is true for many people I know, in fact many of the best people I know. And people who don't seem to be in any personal crisis at all or even doing great.

Of course using the Internet is a kind of socializing, or definitely it is communication, and very important communication. But maybe "getting out" is vastly overrated? Maybe what we do in our own universe, and spiritual developments, can be more important than going to town or hanging out with friends?

6 comments:

Steve said...

Wanting to socialize or be anti-social is a cycle, in most cases. There will be times when I just want to be alone and do my own thing and other times when I am starved for company.

I believe socializing is important just for the fact that it helps us define who we are. Not in the sense of "I'm cool because I am hanging out with popular people," but something more along the lines of "who am I in relation to this person?"

I'm sure we could this on our own, by ourselves, but it would probably take longer.

Anonymous said...

"Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law." ~AC

"If you feel like "going out", go. If you feel like "staying in", stay. If you feel like changing the way you feel, change." ~through the lens

We are not alone on the planet -- socialising is therefore part of the "design" of this planet/dimension/place. But there are many forms of socialising. From a metaphysical point of view, just thinking about another person is "full contact" already.

The way I see it you, Eolake, are a very social person. Perhaps, as you say, not IRL, but very social nevertheless. Your posing of this question, however, indicates that you are not entirely sure of your choices here. Such uncertainty would be the key to focus on, not whether a particular path in general is better than another.

One way to think about meeting in physical proximity is to see it almost as a "sport" -- a kind of sparring ground. But also as a better mirror. It is something that can be extremely beneficial, but also something one has to approach in a much more conscious manner than other forms of contact. It requires greater expenditure of energy. This, and the newly available easier forms of interaction, is why we nowadays tend to put it off.

This very theme is interestingly explored in the Saga album World's Apart. One Amazon reviewer wrote:
... the album's cautionary message led to me hanging up pictures of alluring actresses as a deterrent to self-indulgent behavior ...

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Thank you very much.

I'm confused, how would putting up pictures of pretty actresses be a "deterrent to self-indulgent behavior"?

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

I've been talking to one of the brilliant minds I mentioned, and both her and I feel that we are *exhausted* by traveling, and to some degree by going out and by "people".

I just feel something is going on, something good somehow, I am just fumbling for what it is.

Anonymous said...

I'm confused, how would putting up pictures of pretty actresses be a "deterrent to self-indulgent behavior"?

I only took a small snippet from his writing and obviously can't speak for him. But in more general terms ...

It's a reminder. Interaction in physical proximity offers more than what can be experienced sitting at your desk. Seeing the picture he is reminded of this and of the fact that he continues to put off his life, rather than living it with full sensory input. The choice of subject matter in the pictures is personal, but for various reasons images of humans usually work best.

We thought focused individuals tend to shift our attention away from action and towards thought, because it is easier for us. However, in creating an imbalance in thought vs. action we render ourselves a disservice. Life is about experiencing. If we don't offer our thinking faculty enough material through action, there is little to process and our life experience diminishes.

In World's Apart the turning point is the song "Time's up". At that point the character realises he has been "wishing his life away" and declares "Mayday".

laurie said...

"When there is another, there is fear. When there is no other, there is no fear."

I think something's happening on another scale, substantial and infinite, akin to the Teacher's word "Love one another as I have loved you." An erasing of conceptual boundaries. So that, in this Presence, going out for a walk is truer to oneself and more satisfying and more healing and creative than *socializing." The way is paved, in my experience, with a sometimes painful to bear, social loneliness. Small price to pay!