Monday, July 20, 2009

Good vibrations




Unfortunately without any financial kickbacks to myself, I nevertheless want to recommend the Oral-B Pulsar toothbrush.

It is not only the best and most comfortable toothbrush I've ever used, but it has added uses, especially for single ladies who don't care for the complications of casual male companionship. I have it on good authority that the vibrations from this thing are really top quality. And it won't embarrass you if found by strangers.

25 comments:

Chris S. said...

Sound like the perfect product for a viral campaign on youtube. Wouldn't they love it if women bought these for more than brushing teeth.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

I wouldn't mind. They're cheaper than even the worst crap of the other kind.

And the battery (AAA) is actually interchangeable, although for teeth use they do recommend not using too worn brushes.

Anonymous said...

Why would one be embarrassed by a pink plastic vibrating cock?

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Don't ask me, I didn't write the specs, I just follow the manual.

Alex said...

The battery is interchangable after drilling out to push to lock pin out. The first one I cut open was a pain to work with.

There is a very delicate micro motor in these things, and not much else.

I found it a very comfortable brush, battery life reasonably well matched to bristles (8-12 weeks) and am a little PO'd at Safeway who no longer stock them in our nearest store.

Didn't you try the "oscillating" Gillette when you first tried this brush? My that was a couple years ago now.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

I wonder if we are talking about the exact same model? With the one I use, the base is easy to unscrew (though it takes a firm grip).
You have to bend the connector to get the dead battery out, so it might not connect well when reassembled, but a little wad of tin foil fixes that easily.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

"And it won't embarrass you if found by strangers."
Yes, unlike the vibrating "bath rubber ducky", THAT "toy" doesn't make you look childish.
Of course, it can't replace a considerate lover.
Granted, it's WAY easier to find than a considerate lover! (But that's only because I keep my coordinates confidential. ;-)

The old DualShock joypad of the PlayStation1 had a notably higher vibration power than those of the more recent consoles. Hmm, I still recall, um, "experimenting" with a game that had the vibes continuously on while setting them in the options menu. A rather pleasant game, this turned out to be...

..."but a little wad of tin foil fixes that easily"
Somehow, I never pictured Eolake Stobblehouse as a cameo Desperate Housewife...
:-)

steve sax said...

The odd thing is, women have no reason to be embarrassed and wouldn't need it disguised. What straight man is not going to be turned on by the knowledge she takes hold of the controls and flies solo once in a while? For guys it would be embarrassing, though.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Not for me. Women can take MY controls to, um, "take off" anytime they want, I promise I won't be embarrassed.
;-)

No. Effing. Way. My verif sez: "matur"!!!
"I swear, mister, I'm old enough to read this thread, now please lemme in!"

Tow Matur said...

Aw, shucks! Shore thang, I'll let yeh in, buddy. Yew look like an honest feller awright, ah trest yeh.
Wanna take thuh wheel teh go tractor tippin'?

Uh... whut's a "makero"?

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Your Captcha, I presume?
"Maquereau" is french for "mackerel". It's also slang for "pimp", incidentally.

Tow Matur said...

Howly mackerel !

Alex said...

http://oralb.com/en-UK/products/pulsar/default.aspx

http://www.oralb.com/en-US/products/pulsar/default.aspx#s=overview

Identical screen shots. Slightly different copy.

Nah, if you could "unscrew" something, then someone would, and swallow the battery and sue Oral B for every penny. Hence the lock pin.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

What text is different?

But millions of products have removable batteries.

Are you saying they are different in the US?
I don't see a lock pin.

Alex said...

Just curious, your neighbour kid may help answer this.

Battery powered toys from Macdonalds (The horrid house of hamburgers), do they have special security screws on the battery box so you can't open them?

The US is where someone sued McDonalds after spilling hot coffee over themselves in their car. There is a paranoia about safety at time, and I believe this would extend to the brush.

My Pulsars were always a two part brush with a small, 3-4mm locking pin to hold the two halves together. It inserts in a small hole in the back. It's been a few months (6) since I had a pulsar, but I used them for almost 2 years I believe, and the model never changed.

UK -"Pulsar is the only toothbrush with revolutionary Micropulse bristles"

US - "Pulsar has soft vibrating bristles that help break up plaque between teeth."

Only that line.

Anonymous said...

The US is where someone sued McDonalds after spilling hot coffee over themselves in their car.

There have been some almost as bad over the years. Pretty ridiculous. At least the old bag is dead now.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Alex,
How about swallowing the whole device, after turning it on? That might prove interesting...
BTW, "UN-screwing" wasn't exactly what I had in mind! ;-)

"But millions of products have removable batteries."
Including those destined to be shoved where the sun don't shine, precisely!
But maybe that's not the sort of use OralB had in mind.
Clearly, they were thinking more of "the oral option". ;-)
Ooh, baby, I'm on a roll! Yeah, mojo! (Now, behave, and let's shag.)

"Battery powered toys from Macdonalds (The horrid house of hamburgers), do they have special security screws on the battery box so you can't open them?"
10-4, buddy!
Plus, they often stop working pretty quickly. To fix those of my bro's kids, I had to scour the whore region of Burj Hammood (think of it as Beirut's own Portobello Road) in search for an adequate screwdriver, before finding a semi-adequate one. Which managed to work.
I found out that usually, the batteries weren't even dead, just slightly out of place!!!
It's got nothing to do with safety. In spite of the very short duration of these series, McDoughlard wants children whose toys stopped working to bugger their parents into buying more Crappy Meals. Purely commercial mercantilism.
Burger King are slightly better (I mean the toys, I never tasted their food): a recent toy of theirs I've seen has a battery compartment with NORMAL screws. Looks like they're making an effort to respect the customer... or to less insult the customer's parents! Good for BK. All the less BS.

Speaking of adequates...
For decades, my father was a teacher at Lebanon's top engineering university. At the start of one year, he told his students to buy letter-tracing rulers, "with the adequate drawing pens".
The next week, several embarrassed students went to talk to him: "Um... sir? We couldn't find drawing pens of the Adequate brand. Will Rotring do?"

"There is a paranoia about safety at time, and I believe this would extend to the brush."
I think we're BRUSHING the limits of insanity here...

"Only that line."
Well, hey, one line, even one word, can make the whole difference on today's highly competitive world markets! ;-)
Is there a country where they brag "Pulsar has exclusive Micro-soft bristles designed by computer"?
Maybe in China. "Revolutionary", now that sounds like a mandatory term for an Engrish slogan on the Chinese market. And all the brushes would be of the same single model: bright red, with a yellow star. ;-p
Brushes will always be sold with a "little instruction book that must be read", carefully written by Party propagandists: "Tooth decay is the greatest kapitalist threat to our glorious national productivity, don't forget to floss. Long live our brave national gums!"

"At least the old bag is dead now."
Well, still, that's no reason to start praising her like that!

Geeze, it's just like in Lebanon: no matter how great you are, you never get fair recognition in your lifetime. But if you die, even if you were a stinking scoundrel, suddenly everybody will start calling you a glorious saint and sing your hagiography! Bah.

steve sax said...

""Um... sir? We couldn't find drawing pens of the Adequate brand. Will Rotring do?""

"No! They must be Adequate! Anyone who fails to acquire Adequate drawing pens will fail this course! I have spoken!"

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

"Burger King are slightly better (I mean the toys, I never tasted their food)"

A whopper with cheese and bacon is deeeeelicious. Much better than any of McD's.

Alex said...

But BK went to those crappy fries about 10 years ago. I would have tried them again, but Wendy's do a good Spicy Chiken, and In'N'Out is now my chain burger of choice.

Do you still have Wimpy?

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

So they say, but I haven't noticed one.

TC [Girl] said...

Eolake said...
"A whopper with cheese and bacon is deeeeelicious. Much better than any of McD's."

I agree, Eo, and I don't much care for fast food burgers!

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

I tend to be ever so slightly paranoid about ALL "industrial food". There's already too much worrying stuff in it, just with what we KNOW of!

Anonymous said...

I agree with Pascal, I would avoid them all. And ask any butcher what they think of hamburgers.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

"ask any butcher what they think of hamburgers."
Hmm, isn't that like asking a bishop what he thinks of hookers? Ever so slightly? :-)