Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Double Oh Seven

James Bond with a big machine gun? Oh, come friggin' on.
Sure, the films always had less subtlety than the books, but this is ridiculous.

22 comments:

Alex said...

Born Chester, England, 1968. And there end the differences between me and Daniel Craig. At least I'm not 40 yet!

He's used machine guns before. Has the whole of the UK gone metro? Where's the totty?

Anonymous said...

The books got less realistic as they went along too.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Did they?
I read many as a kid, and I tried a couple of the classics last year, but lost interest.

Alex said...

I tried Casino Royale this year, second time I tried reading Fleming, the first time was when I was in my late teens.

All I can say is that The Saint is a very stylized and charismatic character. How he operates above the law, with a few neat special weapons, and a handful of friends, makes for engaging story telling of this vigilante rogue. The beautiful women come and go, and there is often his friend Patricia Holmes. Holmes is a peculiar character, not afraid to enter battle, co-habitee in an open relationship.

The stories are full of wit, pace and action. The character (apart from Hoppy Uniatz) are colourfully painted.

So why Fleming had to make such dry stories about an action hero who is one tenth the man The Saint is I do not know.

Having said that, Fleming seems to try to make his lead human, something that was lost in the screen Bonds until DC came along.


Oh, also I just read an article in Top Gear about Bond, they did a photoshoot with a DB9, a Royce, and some natty togs. Seems Tilly Masters fancied Pussy Galore in the book. That could make interesting reading for the 50's.

Anonymous said...

I bet Bond got more pussy than The Saint.

Alex said...

Hard to say, what with all those wafting curtains. He probably did, but we didn't get the ins and outs of every encounter.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

The Saint... do you mean the books, the comic book, the TV series, or the film?
(I never inhaled any of them, but I might.)

My dad got more pussy than Bond, but he didn't seem very happy for all that.

Alex said...

The books mostly.

I was born in the Ogilvy era, and did get some kicks out of them. I found Sanders was more enjoyable in the early films, but Lois Hayward was also admirable.

Simon Dutton did okay, but they only let him drive around in his Jensen for a couple of episodes.

Can you believe I've only seen one Roger Moore episode. It was okay, but not Sanders.

Val Kilmer brought it full circle, a character so emulated by Fleming , in this film looked more like a Bond wannabe than an inspiration to Bond.

I know of the comics, but they were before my time, and there are only so many things you can collect.

Never heard any of the radio series, but I'd love to hear some of the Vincent Price ones.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

"Quantum of solace"? Doesn't seem to mean anything, but sounds way cool regardless! Just like a Final Fantasy title. "Advent children". "Dirge of Cerberus". "Legend of the Shadow Dragon".

A spy named Bond, that would fit nicely in the next Austin Powers...

Eolake revealed...
"My dad got more pussy than Bond, but he didn't seem very happy for all that."

Spoilsport! Quit ruining or manly fantasies with real life descriptions! Next you'll tell us that smoking doesn't make you sooper-secksy? That booze don't make us no smart? Boo!

I've only got one pussy, but in my bead nearly every night, and faithful for life. Name's Sacha. I used to have two, almost getting along too, until sensual black beauty Mimi died from cancer.

The Dissonance said...

You know, sometimes only a big machine gun will do. Um... yes, I'm an American. ;o)

Johnnie Walker said...

My dad got more pussy than Bond, but he didn't seem very happy for all that.

No one got more than Bond. That's what makes him Bond.

Anonymous said...

He did get pussy galore. But it would appear to me that Bond wasn't for quantity as first priority.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Good man.

I was quite disappointed in Ms. Galore. She was supposed to be a lesbian.

I thought Alotta Fagina was more fun though. Not to mention the movie.

Alex said...

Talking of Pussy Galore, there was a great line in the Avengers. Steed is opening his Christmas cards and announces:-

"A card from Mrs Gale! Whatever can she be doing at Fort Knox...?".

From "Too Many Christmas Cards", December 1965.

Anonymous said...

Have any of you seen Trainspotting? See what Sick Boy has to say on the subject of Pussy Galore.

Alex said...

I can remember sick boy ranting about how "Name of the Rose" was a mere blip in an otherwise decline in the quality of Connery movies. I can't remember what he said about PG.

However, did you take the time to read Trainspotting? I don't think I could eat tomato soup in a restaurant ever again.

I took ill with the trots in LA and ended up in a bog, somewhere along Ventura Blvd, that was more than reminiscent of the worst toilet in Scotland.

Classic film "I pity the English..." Ah what a speech, "Colonized by wankers".

Anonymous said...

However, did you take the time to read Trainspotting? I don't think I could eat tomato soup in a restaurant ever again.

I bought it just recently but haven't read it yet. I had meant to back in '96 when I first saw the movie, but never got around to it.

Alex said...

I got the English edition, wish I would have got the US with the glossary, a lot of that slang doesn't make it South of the border.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Johnnie Walker lauded...
"No one got more than Bond. That's what makes him Bond."


Not correct.
"Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly."
(From the official Chuck Norris Facts website.)

TTL helped...
"He did get pussy galore."

Not exactly. Bond got Octopussy. Austin Powers got Pussy Galore, AND Alotta Fagina. Do your homework, guys.

Alex said...

Pascal, Pussy Galore was Bond.

I think it's cool that Bond had a daughter by Mata Hari. Niven was the coolest Bond.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Alex very insensitively meddled...
"Pascal, Pussy Galore was Bond."

Oh, baby, behave! I knew that "official version", but they never tell you the whole truth, in the spying universe. Austin Powers isn't selfish, you know. After a particilarly active session of boom-chikiwow-chikiwow-wow with a most generous Ms P.G., inspired by her family-friendly initials, the International Man of Mystery found it in his vast heart to start the sentimental education of a then budding super-agent, young pimple-faced rookie James. And that's how 007 (his first six attempts weren't much of a success, he was too nervous) found his mojo, baby.
Even the codenames of Bond's adventures are very reminiscent of his Seventies mentor's (again with the Seven fetish!), with a more romantic, youthful tone, like "The Spy Who Loved Me". It's a tribute, luv.

Only an already very liberated and grown-up ace agent would've had the ballocks to send an official mission report to the Queen's Services with the word "shag" in its codename. Double uh-oh, baby, yeah!

P.S.: Mata Hari was officially executed in 1918. When exactly did Bond get involved in a Chronotron incident that sent him forward to the Past?
I mean, sure, he was super-sexy very early, and I assure you none of Dr No's secretaries said anything but "Yes, yes, and YES, MORE!", but...

I'm betting Michael Caine would make a very apt retired Bond. If Bond ever ages and retires, of course.
"After being turned down by an overworked James Bond, famous singing beauty Carla Bruni was so desperate that she went and married French President Nicolas Sarkozy." (From the planned James Bond Facts page.)

Alex said...

Makes sense now

Quantum - the bad guys, not SMERSH or Drax but Quantum this time.

Solace - peace after retribution.