Saturday, September 02, 2006

The contest winner

Oooookay, the winner of last month's comment contest is:
Pascal.
He was just outstanding both in quality and quantity.
Though quantity is far less important, let me haste to add. :)

Pascal, you've won either artwork/photo by me, or $100. Email me your preference.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Congrats Pascal! Easy to agree with Eolake's decision here.

To work on your economy of expression issue, try listening to Albert King's guitar solos, or Phillip Glass' compositions. Or maybe check out Moses Pendelton's dance coreography. In general, try to view your writing ...

Through The Lens

Anonymous said...

Wow! I... Won?!?!? Gee, I'm speechless! I'm at a total loss for words.
[Ahem!] I'd like to express my thanks to the Emmys jury, to my bossy producer, my bloodsucking agent, my psycho chauffeur, my bitter landlord, my cat, my canary and 4 budgerigars, my mom, my dad, my brother, my other brother, my sister-in-law, my 3 times-remote cousin, Laurent in Marseille, my psychiatrist, my newsagent, my baker, the ice-cream man, the favorable stars and planets, my stars and garters, the Electrical Company in Lebanon who eventually gave me enough juice this month to post, blah-blah-blah, yakkity-yack, yatta-yatta-yatta...
[25 minutes later]... but let's keep this pleasantly brief. Oh, the emotion! Sniff... BOOHOOOO! I'M SOOOOO HAPPYYYYYY!!!!...

"Make-up!" Damn, my mascara is running. So much for "waterproof" brands...

To all the other posters, I'd like to say we all deserved to win today, you're all very talented people, I love you guys, you were just as deserving as me, and I'm looking forward to congratulating next time's winner. (Smooches to the wind.)

Oh, and... after watching Spongebob Squarepants : The Movie, I have one last thig to add : "Wooohooo! I *WON*! I won I won I won I won I won! Hah! IN YOUR FACE, ADAM! Who's the dummy now, hunh? Bwahahaha! Better luck next time. Dummy."

:-D

P.S.: I chose the art/photo. After all, it's much harder to find than $100. There's only one Eolake Stobblehouse in the world.

And, I might add, what fine taste he has! Flatter-flatter... What's that? Oh, the contest is over, and I've already won? A-he-hem! Never mind, then. (Stands up and dusts off rental polyester tuxedo.)

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Man, didn't "Spongebob Squarepants: The Movie" suck @$$ ? I just tried to watch it a couple days ago. Maybe it's because I was not familiar with the show that I had hope it could be fun. But it seemed to be aimed squarely (as it were) at toddlers.

Anonymous said...

TTL,
My problem is, I seem to be viewing through the wrong lens of the binoculars. Gives the opposite effect... :-)
Still, ponder this : how does a child feel, after spending 2 years learning to walk and talk, when the thing he hears most often from the grown-ups is "sit down and be quiet"? I'm just full of juvenile exuberance.

Eolake,
There you go again with the dubious contortionist acrobatics. Anybody lean enough to suck his own @$$ clearly deserves my embarrassed applause, however kinky this act seems. ;-)

You're right, the movie is at best VERY average, just like the show. What's REALLY funny is behaving like this in real life, though! Or just fantasizing about it.

"How long was that?
- Uh... twelve seconds.
- Hah! IN - YOUR - FACE!!!"

That was actually hilariously stupid. And David Hasselhoff deserved my praise for his own self-parodic Baywatch role.
A movie for toddlers, yes. But sometimes funny, if you manage the right state of mind. (That is, the IQ of a sponge.) I've seen much worse "kiddie movies".

I can top yours. I once rented a VCR movie, in which litterally NOTHING happens for 102 minutes. Really. This one should go suck a broken glass & sulfuric acid rancid milk-shake through a rusted sewer pipe straw. With hot sauce. DEFINITELY the worst English language movie in History, I swear. You could say it's all about watching three people being bored to death. Let me tell it to you in minute detail:

"Curse of the Boring House.
At the beginning, the very wise mother of the two teen girls leaves them at their aunt's house, and goes to drive off a cliff, which spares her most of the story's atrocious boredom. One of the sisters eventually gets so bored, she leaves the other two, I think with some nearly as boring boyfriend. The other sister, who loves the boring aunt, stays with her. But they too get so bored, they eventually set fire to the house and leave giggling in a row-boat, with no precise destination in mind. The merciful end!"
I don't even remember whether there actually is any dialogue in the whole d@mn film! My mind had gone in protective shut-down mode.
That's Lebanese rental-stores for you.

Very few movies could be so perfectly and entirely summed up in a two-minute [boring] trailer. Guantanamo torture stuff, I tell ya. If you have some very hated enemy the Mob wants you to "make suffer", I'll try to find its name for you. I shudder to think somebody actually stayed out of the asylum long enough to shoot this. Without even a mercy shot in the end! Out of curiosity, I once watched "the softcore version of a porn movie(sic)", meaning the story without the sex scenes, and it wasn't even as boring as this!

But enough about the way I have a blast in my pathetic bachelor's week-ends. The secrets of the lodge must be preserved!

I know, I know, I should get my own blog and relieve you people. Now, where are my violin bow and musical chainsaw? Time for a wild paar-tay! Let's get churning, Ma'! Yee-ha!

(I shall title this post : Clockwork Raspberry.)

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

I have a novel about three teen girls alone in a house. A lot less boring, I like to think. :)

http://www.domai.com/text/texts/Sugar_Domino.html

Anonymous said...

Eolake,

To invent something MORE boring than that movie, even your talent would be put to the challenge! ;-)
Except for the world-famous documentary "Watching Paint Dry", perhaps.

I once read a Harry Potter fan-fiction titled "The worst fanfic ever". Well, the orthograh and syntax were deliberately abominable, the story had either no head nor tail, or had nothing but heads and tails everywhere. It WAS amazingly bad, clearly for the sake of it. But not as boring. Some talents are restricted to the severely schizophrenic...
But WHY must they share their suffering with us, dear Lord of mercy?

I missed a great career as a sarcastic critic. Then again, there's still plenty of time.

One thing puzzles me about the cover of your story : won't Domino melt if she stays under that water?
(This may be the start of a new contest : the lamest pun ever, exclusively on BlogSpot!)
You're right, boredom CAN lead to highly interesting situations. :-D

But I think that belongs on another thread of this blog. ;-)

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

I couldn't remember WHAT I had actually won a contest once for, so I did a blog search. COMMENTING. Of course. Silly me. :-)

Just wanted to say in retrospect that INDEED your story of three girls alone in a house was most UN-boring.
Even though IT IS a story about 3 girls FEELING BORED alone in a house. (^_^)

(daydreaming) What to do, what to do, if I were stuck all summer in a house with three bored girls?
Attempt to beat the Guinness world domino record... with sugar lumps?