On giving compliments (updated 2)

I've just added an important update to yesterday's DOMAI newsletter, about giving compliments to help women appreciate their beauty. (Hint: easy does it.)
It was actually something I almost wrote Thursday when editing the newsletter, but decided it was not necessary. But then I got a letter today (also added) which convinced me it was.

Update: one of the many excellent comments:

I am no longer a young man according to the calendar. At 65 my spirit seems to think I am 21.

There was a time I was unable to give a compliment to a member of the fairer sex for fear of the very thing being discussed here. Problem was I always interpreted it as personal rejection, not a normal response to genuine appreciation of beauty.

I now know both are wrong. As Eolake has pointed out the answer lies in method of delivery. A more indirect compliment is easier for American women to accept. I surmise they all want complements but are conditioned to question the authenticity of them.

A case in point. Several months ago I was standing in line at the bank waiting for a teller to be available. A young girl about 6 was playing tag or something with a young boy and as she ran under the guide rope she tripped and fell at my feet after hitting headlong into my knees. She immediately started crying and I bent and picked her up putting her on her feet. The crying continued but softened some. About this time her mother got to us and took the little girl by the hand. She told her daughter to thank the nice man for helping her up. Through soft sobs the girl said thank you. I said your welcome. Then I added you don't want to cry anymore. You are a beautiful young lady just like your mommy and crying makes funny lines on your face. That got me a slight smile and I said that's better now you are just as pretty as your mommy is. She looked up at her mother and they smiled at each other.

They returned to their place in line after "mommy" and I exchanged smiles and a little thank you was offered.

A couple weeks later standing in the same line the woman I now know as Judy left her place in line and came back to where I was. She again thanked me for my help. I told her it was the least I could do for two such lovely ladies. Her smile warmed my soul.

So now I have a friend in the bank line whenever we happen to be there at the same time.

A friendly smile and a soft compliment is something that will more often than not get at least a smile in return.

Greg
-

Benjamin said, in part:

I've found that giving a compliment in the middle of a broader conversation, matter-of-fact, withough breaking stride, helps. Removing the implied expectation that she immediately respond takes away the awkward moment.

I find that very interesting. It is true that a big part of the problem for the receiver is how to respond to a compliment. "Thanks" will usually do it, but most people don't think about that, they feel pressured to join with a comment on the subject, and they can't, because the subject is themselves!

So, maybe: "I'm buying flowers for my sister. She's a beautiful woman like yourself, what do you think would be a fitting flower for a birthday present?"

"Lunch" network

I've been invited (by one of the founders I think) to join the "Lunch" network. Anybody familiar with it?
I'm not terribly interested in Facebook or Myspace, but this might be different.

Small Canons

I'm not the only one in love with the small Canon pocket cameras. They have amazing picture quality and yet are no larger than some mobile phones.
Taken with one:

Pressure sensitive keyboard

3D printing, now in steel

3D printing, now in steel, post. Kewl.

What I like

I've realized that what I love the most on Earth is beautiful women and good coffee.
And cameras.
Maybe I should open a high-quality coffeeshop with pretty waitresses dresses in the legal minimum. And rent out cameras to customers to photograph the waitresses and sell them prints for a buck a piece. (They'll show the prints to friends, who'll then come to the coffeehouse.)

Actually years back in Copenhagen, a really nice high-end burger restaurant started up which had uniforms for the waitresses with super-mini-skirts. It was heavenly.
Later they changed it to leggings, and when I asked why, it was because some of the waitresses got fed up with customers trying to see up their skirts.
Isn't it silly? A look does not hurt. So hire some waitresses who like being looked at. A good view is a premium quality for a restaurant, and that includes the internal view. I'm perfectly willing to pay a couple bucks extra to be served by scantily clad gorgeous waitresses. (And if they are pleasant too, they'll earn really good tips.)

Probably Copenhagen wouldn't be the best place for it though. For one thing it's cold half the year, and for another, feminism is strong in Denmark, sadly. Even if you get the perfect staff, there's bound to be public protests about how the place "degrades women". A Mediterranean city would probably be a better bet.
(I suppose we'd have to throw in a couple of hunks in shorts and half-open shirts.)

A lens primer

A lens primer article. Pretty informative for beginners unfamiliar with exchangeable lenses.
Though a bit imprecise that he consistently uses the term "entry-level" for a reduced-frame (APS-C) camera (Nikon D90, Canon 50D etc), and "pro-level" for a full frame camera (Canon 5D, Nikon D700 etc). True, the size of the sensor is roughly related to the level and price, but these are not official terms, and for example the Nikon D300 is definitely a pro-level camera even though it has a reduced frame sensor.

Here's another good basic article on what lenses are.

Netflix is secretive

Netflix is secretive, article. Pretty interesting, finding one of their sorting warehouses is like Finding Waldo for adults. Really well hidden, on purpose.

Netflix (and, I imagine, the UK equivalent, LoveFilm) is a huge business. And I can understand why. So far I have not been tempted to replace my DVD rental with over-priced and time-limited online rental services (I've watched exactly one rented movie via my Apple TV). But it's hard to imagine this will not have changed dramatically in ten years time. One way or another. The PO and scratched discs are simply unnecessary expenses.

Ponce de Leon

(Get in super-size.)

Iceberg

TC gal found this "cool" picture.
I guess if they are normal where you live, you get used to icebergs like anything else, but it is picturesque.

My guess is, though, that the photographer has used a long telephoto lens (which compresses perspective), and the iceberg is a lot further away than it looks on the picture. The reason being that nine/tenths are under water, so the water must be very deep where it is.


------------
By the way, it's excellent that the web gives an outlet for all the great pictures which were limited before by shelf space.
Admittedly, it also makes obvious why being a photographer is not exactly the most financially promising career these days: digital technology has made it possible for anybody can carry a Elph or a Coolpix camera to call himself a photographer, and to sell the pictures for whatever price he likes. For example I hear that Time paid $30 for the use of this cover picture illustrating the "new frugality"... if that is not illustrative...


By the way, it's a highly interesting article. One of my friends who runs a huge porn site told me that years ago they paid $25 per picture, now the price is more like $1 per picture (which is typical). It's supply and demand. Just because the site could pay a lot more, and some photographers are finding it hard to make ends meet, does that mean that the site should still pay the old prices when lots of photographers are willing to sell much cheaper?)

Giving up my iPod for a Walkman

Giving up my iPod for a Walkman, article.
"My dad had told me it was the iPod of its day. He had told me it was big, but I hadn't realised he meant THAT big. It was the size of a small book."

... Well, one has to admit it's a stone-age model. The last Walkman I bought ten years ago was hardly bigger than the tape, and looked really nice.

Photographing is not a crime campaign in UK

"Photographing is not a crime" campaign in UK, article.