Thursday, June 21, 2007

Touching

Following up on both hugging and on women:

Another thing I envy women is their generally much more relaxed relationship with physical touching.

One more from Pascal:
"Hugs should be covered by health insurances. We'll probably never know how valuable they are to our physical, mental and emotional well-being. Newborns cannot survive without them, that much is certain."

It's true. My mom once talked about a woman friend of the family who liked to hug my bigger brother when he was a kid. And my mom had asked her why she did not hug me also. And she said: "oh no, I wouldn't dare!" So I was a bit intense and kept people at a distance. (Not that I was not and am not a loving person, I am.) (Then again, Dubya says the same thing. :) So I did not get hugged. And I think I shot myself in the foot with that one. I am certain I would be a calmer and happier person if that had been different.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Thursday, June 21, 2007   8 comments links to this post

8 Comments:

At 21 Jun 2007, 10:48:00, Blogger Hannah said...

I miss hugs. Maybe it's because I mostly associate with guys that they just don't happen - it's not manly or something?

 
At 21 Jun 2007, 21:55:00, Blogger laurie said...

we can't be afraid of all the bumps that get in the way when we hug. And if sexual feelings arise, hey that's part of who we are too. Doesn't mean we're going to jump in the sack when we feel it. All of it is beautiful, hugs are so healing like Pascal said.

I sound like a real hippie chick, but I feel respect for where people are at, and I'm sometimes really shy as well. Like Walt Whitman said, "I contradict myself? I contain multitudes."

Eolake, it's a good thing I don't live in your town.

Laurie

 
At 21 Jun 2007, 21:59:00, Blogger eolake said...

I think I could learn to live with it. :)

 
At 23 Jun 2007, 23:52:00, Anonymous Pascal said...

Laurie, I think there should be one like you in every town.
I'm positive I too would survive. :-)

"It's a good thing"? Hey, it's a good thing there is a place where you live, wherever that is. The joy manifests itself in the Perception. It is felt, simply because it is there.

My romantic life has been something of a desert crossing these last years. But I do get hugs. Lots. From a small and "loving to bits" child, my nephew. And now also from his baby sister. (Poor me!)
I really feel I could live more easily without sex than without affection.

Okay, I admit that was actually cheating, because I don't picture sex without affection either. :-)
Would be purely physical, and therefore pretty much pointless. At the very least, there should be some EMOTIONAL intimacy involved, or it's useless to seek a partner when you're just as well off on your own. (And without the chance for arguments, too! Me and I always fall asleep at the same time.) "Better to be all alone than in bad company", to quote my grandfather.

But hugs, affection, love displays... they give you a burst of well-being and endorphins that can soon replace the absence of orgasms. Besides, there's no limit to the former. I've checked, tried and experimented. One never tires of it. :-)))

 
At 24 Jun 2007, 13:29:00, Blogger laurie said...

Pascal, that cheered me. Hugs to you,
Laurie

 
At 25 Jun 2007, 07:30:00, Anonymous terry said...

Better to be all alone than in bad company", to quote my grandfather.

Your grandfather is a wise man. Though I do miss the affection and intimacy I once had.........sometimes I feel subhuman because of it. I get hugs from my grown children which I enjoy but it sure would feel nice again to feel it from a lady.
There's nothing worse than being alone.............my home is empty but my heart is packed full of love to give to a woman if only I could stumble upon her?
But I try to keep the faith. I keep thinking that they outnumber us and all I need is one. One is also such a lonely number like the song says.
Perhaps the day will come again? Maybe.
Surgeon General Warning: Being alone Increases the risk of sadness and misery even in nonsmokers.
Hey Pascal, let those women you described in one of your posts that there is one American male here that would never treat a lady the way they are commonly treated badly. We men are not all devil dogs.
I've been called a pussy so much by fellow co workers who claim that's why I can't get a woman because I'm a stupid doormat. I'm not a doormat I'm a gentleman with honest intentions and I'm proud of it.

 
At 26 Jun 2007, 01:06:00, Anonymous Pascal said...

"I'm a gentleman with honest intentions and I'm proud of it."

I'm sure of that. Taking the opinion of the Neanderthal majority would be dumb.

But I'm wondering whether your problem might not be that you focus too much on your loneliness? If you "feel" desperate to a woman you try to date, she might get a falsely negative idea about you. Like think there may be some serious reason for it, and that maybe she'd better avoid you.

So, it's just a guess, but try to be simply relaxed, and to have more confidence in yourself. Be sure you don't send a negative first impression, which can often be the last. Then your qualities would do the rest, once you've avoided the first... "speed bump" and they get the chance to show by themselves, naturally.

I hope this helps. :-)

 
At 31 Jul 2007, 02:14:00, Anonymous anurag said...

In Islam, it is forbidden for a male and a female of a comtemporary age to touch each others even when it comes to shaking hands. Some tell me that even brothers and sisters are allowed to touch each other. In my Indian culture, it si an insult for an girl to touched by a male who are not blood-related. I guess, its the smae in Hinduism.

 

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