Saturday, December 13, 2008

Blue Blue Blue

Blue Blue Blue. This is a short-short story which has been on my home page for a while, but I don't think I've posted it here before.

It's a sequel to December Morning, which has been professionally published twice, in the magazine Tomorrow SF in 1993 and in the anthology Flights of Mind in 2004.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Saturday, December 13, 2008   3 comments links to this post

Digital art

Digital art. These are rather more interesting than most such that I've seen.


posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Saturday, December 13, 2008   0 comments links to this post

My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult - Mystery Babylon

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Saturday, December 13, 2008   0 comments links to this post

Hellboy II: Armageddon


I am watching Hellboy II: A Return To Love on Blu-ray... Let's get the bitching over first:
I've complained about this before, not the least in connection with Buffy, but it's rampant in stories on this planet... please, writers, get this straight: being willing to sacrifice thousands or millions of lives to save the one you "love" is not a sign of "love", it's a sign of perspective being limited to the point of clinical insanity.
In Hellboy II: The War Goes On, this happens twice within five minutes! It is so not romantic.

Apart from that, Hellboy II: As Above, So Below is an enjoyable movie. The story/script won't win a place in the annals of literature, but it's serviceable*, and the visuals are where it's at. Just the lengthy visit to The Troll Market makes it all worthwhile.
Hellboy II: Caught In The Vortex is the kind of film which justifies suffering the clunkiness of current Blu-ray players: the spectacular detail is almost too much for DVD really, and unlike cinema, you can rewind and take in more details of your favorite visuals.

Hellboy II: Love And War has more weird and wonderful creatures than a Star Wars film. The imagination to make them up and the work and time invested to put them down on disc is impressive. And most of them they built physically, so unlike a film like Van Helsing, it all looks very real.
This visual feast is all the more impressive when you find out it was made on half the budget of other big fantasy/superhero movies (85M as opposed to 170M or more).

Hellboy II: The Golden Army gets two thumbs up from the visual maven.

Buy it from Amazon US or Amazon UK.

*Don't get the impression that the story is sub-par. Actually many of the characters are quite faceted, and it's often quite funny too.


Se below... again and again, what impresses me most about Hollywood is the amazingly talented visual designers working there. This book appears for all of half a second in the film...


Also, the "Wink" creature is absolutely incredible. He's nigh eight feet tall, and he's real, not CGI. His animatronic face is so alive that you can't believe that the face is not CGI. There's footage of some of the actors when they see him for the first time, and they all go "oh my god!"
Not to mention the guy in the suit, Brian something, good lord. The suit weighs 130 pounds, and he has to walk around in it for hours, acting and fighting. And of course the heat and moisture from his body can't escape.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Saturday, December 13, 2008   3 comments links to this post

If you gotta dahh

Apropos deaf... "If you gotta die, (pronounced 'if you goddaddaehh'), then I'm the one to put the smile on your face", video.

I'm stunned by the practice of preserving dead bodies. That is morbid. Do people really have such a hard time letting go that they need this empty, useless cadaver around to remind them of their past family member?

In my family we have agreed that we use time and money on the living, we don't keep dead bodies lying around, they get burned. We don't even keep graves or gravestones. When I'm gone, I don't want twenty thousand bucks used on keeping my empty vessel around, I want that money going to the clothing and education of the young ones in the family. (Won't somebody please think of the children!?)

Update:
I'd made a bit fun of the funeral director's grammar, and I received this comment:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_American_Vernacular_English

Basically, in this country, there are many African American people who have been affected by both the way Americans have treated them (very poorly) as well as their ancestory. Things like poverty; no role models; poor role models in that many *fathers* of children never stayed, once they found out they were to be fathers.

Lack of education. Being raised in single-parent families...by their mothers; aunts and uncles; or grandparents, mainly. Living in *projects* which, basically, are low-income or government-funded housing where it is ROUGH! I can't think of a movie right now where the atmosphere is depicted but...I have been to one and...I hope to never have to go ever again. It is sad and depressing and not an environment that anyone would want to raise their kids.

*Gang-bangers* live there; drug dealers and drug addicts; prostitutues...among the general population, all looking for a way to survive and make ends meet.

And that is this generation.

The last generation or two dealt with this: http://www.remembersegregation.org/

Sadly, education was not something that was easily available to African Americans, just a few short decades ago. There are, unbelievably, still many illiterate Americans, in our country. I am afraid that...that is what his language tells us.

Many don't have the time nor the money to get the education that they should have had, when they were children. And...now...they are struggling to make a living as best as they can. They have worked hard all their lives and...they will have to keep doing so, until their last breath. We are all just doing the best that we can do and...honestly...that funeral director would be considered pretty sucessful in his family, I'm sure. He has his own business...I believe. At least...he has a job and he has the willingness to work.

This generation and possibly the last of the African American community had the attitude of "why should I bother trying to find work when I can make more dealing drugs?" They knew that they would not get what they wanted (cars; phones; boom boxes; girls...things, in general) if they went about it the usual way (they had no higher education. No one could afford to send them to school) so...they decided to deal drugs. And...basically, no one raised them but themselves. Their mothers worked; their fathers weren't around; their grandparents also needed to work because no one made enough to save for retirement.

Two very different times but...the underlying thread of both, I believe, was...the failure of their fathers to either be there for them or to provide moral support for them and some even had money but didn't see the importance of helping their kids get an education. Kids do a LOT of STUPID things...trying to gain the love of someone. Very sad but true...

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Saturday, December 13, 2008   13 comments links to this post

Friday, December 12, 2008

Bettie Page

Famed Pin-up model Bettie Page has passed at 85.
The first I knew of her was this exuberant cover to the CD "Sexplosion" by My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult (recommended). Bettie was a positive role model. She was the incarnation of happy and innocent, even when she was posing in SM gear. Bless her.


I very much liked the movie about her.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Friday, December 12, 2008   4 comments links to this post

The quarters game

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, 'This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.'

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, 'Which do you want, son?'

The boy takes the quarters and leaves the dollar. !

'What did I tell you?' said the barber.. 'That kid never learns!'

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store & says ; 'Hey, kiddo! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?'

The boy licked his cone and replied,

'Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over.'

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Friday, December 12, 2008   2 comments links to this post

Thursday, December 11, 2008

New art, Mandelbrot and Yeller


posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Thursday, December 11, 2008   1 comments links to this post

Dirty car art

Dirty car art.
In this internet age there seems to be a rapid expansion of improbable and difficult-for-difficult's-sake art media. Like etch-a-sketch and now dust on cars.
I'm not sure what to think of it. Does something become more Art because it's difficult to do or especially impermanent?

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Thursday, December 11, 2008   4 comments links to this post

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Brainiacs

If anybody doubts my readers are brainiacs, Ron's book proves it.

I used to be one, but it seems my increasing focus on intuitive knowledge, or something, has ruined my ability to concentrate on feats of pure intellect.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Wednesday, December 10, 2008   5 comments links to this post

Lisa Simpson is a minor

[Thanks to Mary]
God, this makes me sick. Is there no end to the irrationality of humans and the legal system?
If somebody gets in your face and is crazy, you can brush it off. But when it gets into the legal system and puts people in jail and so forth, it's no longer funny.

As Neil Gaiman puts it:
"The ability to distinguish between fiction and reality is, I think, an important indicator of sanity, perhaps the most important. And it looks like the Australian legal system has failed on that score."
Indeed.

On a different subject (?) I think if the famous Wally Wood poster had been published today, Disney would probably try (and succeed) in outlawing it. After all, while it's clearly satire, it could be argued that it is both a copyright breach and defamation of character.

---------
Changing subject again, that Wally Wood sure could draw.


And new subject again, I found this while searching for the poster... super-risque!


... And again... does anybody know her?
Strangely, she turned up on this search, but not on google itself, so I can't find the page. (And now she's gone again on GIR, so weird.)
Leviathud helps out: she is Jojo.
It can't be a coincidence that the more taboo teenage sexuality is made, the younger do the highly sexualized pop idols become...

---
More updates: of course there were times within living memory when censorship was much tighter yet.

Excerpt from comment by Pascal:

- I'd be the first to stand up for protecting children from molestation. But imaginary minors?? Isn't there any REAL crime with nasty consequences that takes priority?

- As the Wikipedia article I've cited mentions, there is no objective evidence that "virtual underage porn" endangers real children, and evidence seems to indicate THE EXACT OPPOSITE. Just like legalizing adult porn disintegrated 1/3 to 2/3 of sex crimes.

- Anything that helps prevent real harm to real children, I'll immediately support as a principle, no matter how sickening it could be considered. That would include providing photo-realistic CGI porn depicting raped babies, if it were proven to have a calming effect on a sicko's pulsions and preventing REAL aggressions. As a doctor, I'm trained to overcome the vomiting reflex, especially when stoicism helps human beings in some way or another. Have you ever seen a surgical operation? You get used to it...

- The argument of "immoral" or "sickening" in itself is not only fallacious, it is scarily fascist.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Wednesday, December 10, 2008   23 comments links to this post

Libraries wild


Could be worse, there could have been details.
I'm reminded of an evening back in Denmark, in a library. It was the week's late-open evening, and the library was pretty deserted, but I was there. And so were two young women. And while they were just behind a shelf I was browsing, the younger one started telling the other one how she was envious of how she had "been with" so many people while in "gymnasiet" (Danish three-year schooling for people in their late teens, comes before university). And the other one said not to worry, it would happen. And proceded to detail some of her adventures, including boffing some boy at a school party in the basement, behind a window anybody could walk by and look through.

And then suddenly they got very quiet. I could almost feel them realizing that they might possibly not be alone in the room. And they got out, red-faced and giggling, and left the library quickly.

-----
Since the advent of Amazon and me earning better money, I've bought more books than I can read. But in my yoof I was unemployed for a couple of periods, messing with my art and goofing off, and man, did I use the library! In Denmark you can borrow music and comics (graphic novels) as well as books, so that's your whole entertainment life right there (except for films).

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Wednesday, December 10, 2008   7 comments links to this post

Compact cameras tested

DPreview test a bunch of super-compact cameras.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Wednesday, December 10, 2008   0 comments links to this post

Photo by Lee

Photo by Lee. Good eye and humor.



posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Wednesday, December 10, 2008   7 comments links to this post

GG is slender

Let's do a little survey.
If you look at this nude picture of the model GG, does she seem "worryingly thin" to you?
Apparently it does to several people. Which puzzles me, because while she is clearly very slender, she also seems to me to be obviously healthy (even very healthy), and not pathologically thin in any way. I asked Pascal, who is a doctor, and he has the same opinion. But then he asked an older family member, who has the first opinion. So I decided to do a little informal survey, just to see if we can shed a little light on this puzzling diversion of opinions.
I am suspecting an emotional over-reaction here. For decades fashion models got thinner and thinner, and now there's a strong reaction against it which goes a bit too far.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Wednesday, December 10, 2008   41 comments links to this post

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Clickthrough

New hack fixes the irritating aspect of Mac OSX that if you click on a background window, the window may react to the click as well come to the foreground. Article.

Update: there may be a downside. I am used to, many times every day, to drag a folder or file from the Finder into an app. Now I have to click on the finder first before it reacts. I'll have to see whether this proves too much of a disadvantage in the long run.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Tuesday, December 09, 2008   5 comments links to this post

Cheerleaders' Nude Photo Suspension

Cheerleaders' Nude Photo Suspension, article.

Maybe it's because I'm European, but I don't ever get it when I hear of things like this. To suspend pupils over nude photos makes as much sense to me as suspending them for using the wrong fork at dinner or wearing an unfashionable haircut. I don't get it, why does anybody care??!!

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Tuesday, December 09, 2008   8 comments links to this post

James Joyce - Finnegans Wake

If it wasn't a big book, I'd say he's taking the piss.

----
James Joyce
«Finnegans Wake»
[Excerpt]

[...] riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.
Sir Tristram, violer d'amores, fr'over the short sea, had passen- core rearrived from North Armorica on this side the scraggy isthmus of Europe Minor to wielderfight his penisolate war: nor had topsawyer's rocks by the stream Oconee exaggerated themselse to Laurens County's gorgios while they went doublin their mumper all the time: nor avoice from afire bellowsed mishe mishe to tauftauf thuartpeatrick not yet, though venissoon after, had a kidscad buttended a bland old isaac: not yet, though all's fair in vanessy, were sosie sesthers wroth with twone nathandjoe. Rot a peck of pa's malt had Jhem or Shen brewed by arclight and rory end to the regginbrow was to be seen ringsome on the aquaface. The fall (bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonner- ronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthur- nuk!) of a once wallstrait oldparr is retaled early in bed and later on life down through all christian minstrelsy. The great fall of the offwall entailed at such short notice the pftjschute of Finnegan, erse solid man, that the humptyhillhead of humself prumptly sends an unquiring one well to the west in quest of his tumptytumtoes: and their upturnpikepointandplace is at the knock out in the park where oranges have been laid to rust upon the green since dev- linsfirst loved livvy.

From the book's wikipedia page:
Critics disagree on whether or not discernible characters exist in Finnegans Wake.

How can anybody take a book seriously, which is so unreadable that critics can't even agree upon whether it has any characters or not? Holy frig.
I suspect the book is so famous simply because it becomes an obsession for people to try to make sense from it. They can't let it go. And then they have to justify their interest by claiming it to be a significant literary work.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Tuesday, December 09, 2008   14 comments links to this post

van goff

van Gogh Gallery.
Irritatingly, it seems the site has some weird protection in place against downloading the images, even though they are out of copyright. The files you get crash apps. I had to use a screenshot.


By the way, one of the things I appreciate about ole Vincent is that despite his life, he had such joie de vivre. Many excellent artists are so morbid, lo Matt Woodson.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Tuesday, December 09, 2008   9 comments links to this post

More unusual sculptures

More unusual sculptures.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Tuesday, December 09, 2008   3 comments links to this post

More perspective fun

More perspective fun.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Tuesday, December 09, 2008   1 comments links to this post

Watch in HQ? And "Twilight"

Lisanova does a movie trailer parody. (Original is here. Take teaser one.)
Not very interesting, I guess, if you haven't seen the movie (I haven't.), but: in the beginning of the YouTube vid is the message "click below to watch in High Quality"... I've seen it before, but I never figured out what it is I'm supposed to click on, and what they mean by "high quality"... Any bids?

Am I the only one who thinks that from the trailers the Twilight film looks like it's stupid? Just for one thing, the boys look like style-challenged goths, only they run around in the woods. And for another thing, I have the same problem as with Buffy and her adolescent crush on Angel: how can a girl fall in love with, and want to have sex with a vampire, whose body is room temperature and has no heartbeat? (Leaving apart the whole Vicious Killer issue for now. Well, gotta admit that part seems to be a turnon for many women.)

Update: I'm not alone, Eric points to this review. (Pretty irritating in itself, but has some good points to say.)
(The vampire is a vegetarian? Really? Give me a fucking break, that's the dumbest idea I've heard.)

There are many interesting comments under that review. It seems teen girls are totally gaga over that boy. (I think he looks like Frankenstein's gay son.) One girl, though, writes:
"I thought that I was the ONLY girl who had read the book and didn't like it. The male lead, Edward, has NO PERSONALITY. His personality consisted of him being obsessively in love. OBSESSIVELY. I mean, he would watch her while she slept every single night. How insanely creepy is that? I'm planning on seeing the movie when it gets to the cheap theater we have in our town, though, just because it seems as though it would be so bad that it would be funny."

I wonder if many girls/women think that a man who is obsessed with a woman is romantic?

---
That critic is promising. Here's his Eddie Murphy's Raw In Five Seconds. More five second moview/reviews here, very funny.
I'm glad I skipped this one.
I'm a bit amazed to see that I've seen virtually all of that long list of movies.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Tuesday, December 09, 2008   10 comments links to this post

Monday, December 08, 2008

Danish band in Apple ad

Luke predicts I'd want to blog this. Well, it has iPod and Steve Jobs, a Danish band, a cute singer, and a pretty good song, who wouldn't?
Danish music is really happening since the nineties.



As usual, English speakers misspell Danish names. It's Mette Lindberg, not Metta Lindberg. By her name she is clearly Danish, but she doesn't sound it. But then it's amazing how some people's singing voice can sound totally different from their speaking voice, have you noticed?

I'm reminded of how I was once in a cafe in Copenhagen, and while making my cappuccino, the waitress sang a single note. I swear it was only a single second, and yet from that I could hear that she was a trained singer. I asked her and it was true.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Monday, December 08, 2008   4 comments links to this post

Brooks on Eleanor


Brooks Jensen, who I admire as a photographer (I own his October Seas portfolio) makes fun of BlackBook magazine as they proclaim teenaged photographer Eleanor Hardwick to be the an upcoming big thing in art photography.
I think he is a little condescending, Eleanor is actually quite good, better than most I see in the magazines, even those with decades on her. (Like usual, I wish her site had larger images.) OK, Brooks tempers his statement to say he is not making fun of her, but for a while there it really sounds like he is.

Of course he has a point about magazines like BlackBook. They are moronic vehicles for celebrity, with absolutely zero interest in or knowledge about genuine artistic content. But that's what they do. Expecting anything else is like expecting "Teen Idol" magazine to publish an article with new psychological insights.

Upon research, it is looking the phrases which most rubs Brooks the wrong way, though, like "next big time art photographer" and "be afraid Annie Leibovitz" are artefacts of Fox News as they covered the BlackBook article. Another layer of superficiality was added. The original article was not that bad actually.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Monday, December 08, 2008   1 comments links to this post

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Early Apple

Article about Apple, the super-early years (before even the Apple II).
"At this point my mother-in-law came over to Steve. She looked him up and down and said, "Young man, your backside is sticking out of holes in those jeans! You are NOT going to be in my booth like that. Take 'em off and I'll sew them up, now!"
Steve Jobs was more than a little surprised."

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Sunday, December 07, 2008   0 comments links to this post

Nikon S60 ad

This is a cool and funny ad. (For a camera ad.)
Unfortunately the camera itself is getting panned by reviewers.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Sunday, December 07, 2008   7 comments links to this post

Hitler is a Nikon user

Seems it was not really jazz he was talking about. Hitler makes many good points about Nikon here.
I never knew "der krieg ist verloren" meant "my PC always hangs anyway".

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Sunday, December 07, 2008   5 comments links to this post

I'm dreaming...

... of a White Xmas, the reindeer version.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Sunday, December 07, 2008   0 comments links to this post

Pixer image scaling

[Thanks to Ray.]
Pixer is a little Mac-only app which makes short work of simple bulk image processing like scaling to a specific size.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Sunday, December 07, 2008   0 comments links to this post

Nikon D90 on the L train


Nikon D90 on the L train from Mike Kobal on Vimeo.

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Sunday, December 07, 2008   2 comments links to this post

The Mindscape Of Alan Moore

I'm watching The Mindscape Of Alan Moore, which is warmly recommended for anybody interested in... well, comics, literature, magic, the universe...

In the commentary though, the director makes a comment which I've heard many times before, and which irritates me, especially at this late date of the evolution of digital media: the idea that digital production "lacks something". That it's inherently soul-less and sterile, whereas analogue media are soulful and vibrant. It's complete BS. If digital art is or has been sterile or plasticky, it has only been because of: 1) too low complexity early in the game 2) lack of skill or knowledge of the operators.

UK Amazon link:
The Mindscape of Alan Moore [2003]

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Sunday, December 07, 2008   3 comments links to this post

Mapple's great MyPod

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Sunday, December 07, 2008   7 comments links to this post

Unusual sculptures

Unusual sculptures.


(BTW, does anybody know how one loads a picture from the web and have it fit the page? I can only get it to load full size so most of them will overflow the column.)

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Sunday, December 07, 2008   2 comments links to this post

Two letters to Domai.com

First, a letter which made me laugh.
Second, a letter which almost made me cry.
Eolake
----

What will happen to Domai when you are, erm, no longer around? Have you ever thought of this?

It will be a real shame if the website simply stops being updated. Or closes altogether.

I hope you have good plans for the long-term future of Domai! Would you be willing to pass it on to someone else?

Chris H

-----

Dear Eolake,

Well, finally, I have decided to write to you. You get today a two-in-one mail from me. One part is my story, as a Domai reader, the other is my first submission to Domai as a blossoming photographer. I hope you enjoy both.

My gratitude goes to you for having created this site which has made me more self-confident and inspired as a woman and as a photographer (not professional, but autodidact and passionate photographer). It made me more aware of my own beauty and of the beauty I can capture through the lens.

***

So here is my story, the story of how I discovered your site three years ago and how much good it did me. I think it is a great thing to share happiness and beauty and the job you are doing is great. You are channeling positive energies through the web.

It was winter-time, November, and the shiny young man I was interested in was not interested in me. We were having very nice discussions, but that was it. I was feeling invisible as a woman as, I had to admit, I always did when attracted to somebody. I kind of started to look at pictures on the web thinking I should learn to be more sexy. Some were funny, some were nasty, but basically not giving much inspiration. Then I bumped into a page explaining the concept of simple nudes with a bunch of links. I followed some links and discovered Domai. I immediately liked the site’s name because it reminded me of an Indonesian word (I'm actually writing a book about Indonesia) and it wasn't until half a year later I found out the actual meaning. I found there so much beauty. So much fun and sunshine in wintertime. Young ladies all naked, climbing on trees, swimming in rivers, flying with umbrellas, so happy and free I had to smile back at them.

I have been taking pictures and drawing since I was 14 so I could really appreciate the aesthetics of the pictures. I could feel there had been a nice communication between the photographer and the model. Actually a lot of pictures were the kind of pictures I liked to take myself. I mean... I had never taken any naked pictures but I especially liked to take portraits. I liked to make people feel really comfortable so that, through the image, a glimpse of their inner beauty might be revealed. I loved to make somehow “true” pictures that people would accept and treasure. So I was feeling very much at home with most of the Domai pictures. I had been making portraits of peoples' faces. These pictures were portraits of the whole body, of the totality of the women.

Looking at Domai, nudity was becoming more and more natural to my eyes. I remember one day I saw women with lingerie on a newspaper advertisement and I felt those pictures so deeply artificial... At that moment, I realized I had become seriously Domai-addicted and that it had changed the way I was looking at nudity.

Somehow a magic started. Looking at those girls on Domai being happy, free and beautiful made me myself feel more and more happy, free and beautiful. It was as if their energy, their glow was coming through the pictures. Somehow, while looking at them, I was them, and they were me and it was also me who was climbing on the tree and swimming in the river. I don’t know how this magic operates but day by day I was going on the site and feeling vitality, flying away from fears and cold. The girls were all shaped different, thin or large, some bigger here or smaller there, with their bodies as personal, unique and beautiful as their faces. By looking at their pictures, nudity was becoming more and more natural, and... maybe it sounds weird, but I was feeling my body more and more belonging to me.

It was part of my personal growth and healing. Actually I am one of those girls who got somehow abused when they were young. I was much luckier than many, I was not raped, nor was I seriously aggressed, but my mum’s second husband kind of tried to be close to me in an explicitly not father-like way. I talked to my mum about the problem once when I was 13. She did not seem to take it seriously, so I did not talk about it any more. Actually, many years later, I got to know that she had taken it seriously and had she known anything had happened again, she would have divorced on the spot. But I did not tell her. Fear brings distrust. So I made myself as small, diplomatic and invisible as I could. I spent a lot of time out of house, and two years later left home.

There is the saying that “What does not kill you makes you stronger.” I think it could be obscene to state it as a general rule. Two girls I know of, one raped by her priest when she was 12, the other by a neighbor when she was 4, never got over it. Maybe the saying does not apply to them because a part of them was actually killed. People having limbs taken by accidents or wars would probably also not like to hear that saying... Actually it is the kind of wisdom that everybody can feel free to apply on one’s situation or not. For me it worked. This story made me more mature, made me start working for money earlier, enjoy more being at school and, later, when my mother divorced, really enjoy being at home. Life gave me a real problem to deal with, and through it I gained the self-confidence to deal with real problems. I met wonderful people on my way but with attractive boys I remained invisible. It was as if I had an integrated alarm system that would switch me off and make me invisible when close to a boy I felt attracted to. The clothes I would wear were for hiding, still afraid of generating attraction.

I would say that Domai was one of my gurus and finally helped me through this, more than ten years after the happenings. The beauty of the girls in the pictures made my body feel more free and shiny. The letters posted on the site were so sweet, conveying a whole philosophy of respect and love for female beauty that I started to feel differently about myself. I started to see myself and other women around me through Domai perspective. It was quite transcendental. I could feel more and more that I was young and beautiful with nothing to hide.

During those four months, November to February, I was checking Domai every day, and it really changed me. By February the guy was still not interested. One day I got fed up with the situation and decided to let it go, not to have hopes any more, it could still be a very nice friendship. That very evening there was a party and I danced feeling young, happy, beautiful and free. That was the moment when he became attracted to me.

Domai changed my way of seeing the body in general. I see more glow and beauty in it than before. I think this site is spreading love, health and peace of mind. May it be blessed.

Forces of intolerance, domination, control and fear alienate us from ourselves. For me, it was one specific threat I experienced, for others it may be other kinds of oppression. I feel that Domai allows people to be more connected with that which they are. Discovering how beautiful and natural the body actually is makes us more aware of human beauty in general, that means getting closer to what we really are. It is a great source of joy, peace and freedom.

As the world is sometimes going mad, inner peace and mental health are most valuable. By the way, in Indonesian, the language of the country I am writing about, “damai” means peace.

**

So that was my personal love-letter to Domai ! And I mean it truthfully...

And, as a blossoming photographer, I would really love to have my pictures on it!

Actually that dream grew in me when I became Domai-addicted. Domai really inspired me. Without it I don’t know if I would have ever had the self-confidence to ask somebody to pose naked for me. Domai gave me a definite goal, a project, a framework. I was looking for my model in a very shy way for many months until I finally found her. She is a dancer who had been posing for painters and really liked domai when I presented it to her.

At first I was feeling quite weird about being a woman taking pictures of a naked woman. Maybe still the old “hiding-reflex”, feeling that a naked body has to be hidden, even when it is somebody else’s body. But as my model was relaxed and very friendly I too relaxed and could be the photographer, helping her beauty to unfold. I am very happy with the pictures we made! Really. When I looked at them, I was overwhelmed. I was feeling these were the pictures I always wanted to make. It made me more complete as a photographer and as a human being. Through my friend’s beauty caught in those pictures, it was magically also my own beauty that was shining back at me. The beauty of a woman no longer afraid of her own beauty.

I feel that these pictures are my last steps on my path of personal healing, and my first steps on a long road of photography where I would not have ventured without Domai.

Thank you so much, Eolake!

Sincerely yours,

Anikó

posted by Eolake Stobblehouse @ Sunday, December 07, 2008   5 comments links to this post


Website Counter