I've kept this quiet for a long time, but what with Lindsay Lohan coming out as a bisexual and similar courageous developments recently, I feel it's time for me to step up.
I'm a metrosexual.
I don't mean a straight man who dresses well and likes clubs, I mean in the original sense: somebody who gets turned on by cities.
Since this came into full bloom about fifteen years ago, I've been unable to live in a city, and only able to visit them briefly. I can't be centrally in a city without getting raging iron, which is very uncomfortable after a while, and which my doctor says can be dangerous for a middle-aged man. The last time I rode a subway, I climaxed three times just from the vibration.
I've long ago gotten rid of all my porn, and I get off now by watching films like Manhattan, Blade Runner, New York Stories, and Eight Million Ways To Die.
Well, that's the long and the short of it. Hope you won't judge me too hard. April fool.