Thursday, January 17, 2008

Who can get girls?

I've noticed a tendency for comments on this blog to sometimes stray off-topic and get onto "who can get girls". :-)
I was sent a book by the author, a book about introducing the mysteries of sex to young men. But even though I'm middle aged, it seems it can even teach an inexperienced fella like myself a couple of things. Anyway, it contains this interesting bit in the introduction:

I knew a guy, his name was John. He was so dreadfully fat that he could barely walk, he had to pay for double seats in an aircraft. John loved good food and could never get thin for long. He spent a fortune going to fat farms to lose a few pounds but then put them on again. He was grossly ugly, but he knew how to charm girls. He had a long string of the most beautiful women, not just one or two, many. He died young from over eating. Vogue magazine would have given anything to have been taking pictures of the dozens of gloriously elegant, very beautiful, women who showed up at his funeral to mourn their loss.

Incredulous, I asked the author about the veracity of this story. He expanded for me via email:

John was the owner of the company I worked for . He died at 40. It was a real experience to watch him at work seducing a girl. We had a company function entertaining all the staff of a client company. I arrived in my car at the venue and parked my car. John drove in parked next to me. He was alone .

John kept thirty people in fits of laughter all through dinner. Told every one the history of the wines he had ordered and described the estates, threw in jokes all the time. After dinner the whole crowd were moved to a coffee lounge. It ended up with the whole crowd standing round the place were john was sitting all interacting with him, lots of jokes lots of stories. I watched as john picked his girl for the night. First he started looking at her when he told a joke as if he was telling it only for her. Then he started to reach a hand over and take her hand while they both laughed. Then he got her to move nearer and started to laugh into her eyes and hold her hand while they laughed.

He was a gross fellow but he had picked himself the prettiest of them and took her home with him that night.

Because of being severly overweight his clothing always looked a mess. Being over weight like that made him sweat a lot so under his arms his shirt was always wet.
I think you get the picture a dreadfull gross ugly man, but oh, what charm.

I had always known he had a lot of woman but the funeral was an eye opener and they cried their hearts out.

John not being there the company folded.

I think the funeral part is interesting. It shows it was no superficial one-night charm John worked on these women.

I suspect the essence of his "secret" was a deep and intense affection for women, which they felt strongly.
I also think this can be faked. But that will only get you the sex, not the love.

It should perhaps be said that life has shown me that people who get lots of sex (or money) are usually no happier than others, or happier than they were before, since happiness comes from within (cliche, but true). But this is hard to learn if one keeps yearning constantly for sex or money and never getting it. So finding a way to get them will surely help lessons in life. :)

The author mailed me this:
John kept getting them, I saw a few of them several times, but not one of his women stayed in the picture for very long. I would say max two months.
He never said and I dared not ask where any of them had gone.
He was getting them but not keeping them. From what you say on your blog I am wondering if all the jokes and laughter hid a very unhappy man.

I think we can guess, looking at the way he had to keep eating, and maybe even how strongly he Had To Get Women too.


Anonymous said...

From a little book called "Quotations with an Attitude" by Roy L. Stewart:-

The Earl of Chesterfield: "Sex: The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable."

- Ray

Anonymous said...

Around this point someone is bound to mention Fast Seduction 101 ( Although primarily the resource of players, it has a lot to teach every guy who fails with girls. What it doesn't say, but which should become apparent to anyone following its guidelines, is that it's one's own assertive self-confidence that works the magic, not the pick-up lines one employs. And as you point out in your blog, getting sex is not the same as getting love. However gratifying sexual success with women may be, the lack of the deeper emotional content makes the whole thing fundamentally disatisfying.

Anonymous said...

Who can get girls? Not Final Identity, I guess.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Eddie Shore,

Actually I think I heard that Final has himself a new girlfriend, mid-thirties, ex-dancer, and a good cook. I wish it were me. My GF can barely order out. But dang, can she take a spanking. ;-)

Cliff Prince said...

Geez I didn't even post on the thread but I get flamed ... I must be VERY important to SOMEONE ...

Anonymous said...

Maybe that is why Final has not posted much lately - he's actually getting some action! Good for you, Final.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Final Identity was touched...
"I must be VERY important to SOMEONE ..."

You mean, besides your ex-dancer GF? ;-)

Well, hey, You take the fame, you get the flame. (You hunka-hunka-burnin'-love.)

Honestly, I would consider envying you, but not right now when I'm sick as a vagrant canine. Tends to send the libido on vacation.

Still, I know a few things for sure:
- I would make a very good father.
- I would love it.
- I would greatly enjoy what one has to do to become a father. ;-)
- The perfect woman is well worth the patience. Never been married, never been divorced either. Makes me luckier than many.

P.S.: Now we know why you don't use an avatar anymore. It's served its purpose, now that somebody's noticed your charming smile.
(Or is that "smiling charm"? Chyming smarts? Swarming chants? Champion style? Startling shine? Chinese kite? Ah, whatever!)

Cliff Prince said...

I took my avatar off-line in all the places where I use this ID name (I am variously final_id, finalid, Final Identity, finalidid, etc. etc.). I had a run-in with a quasi-room-mate (don't ask!) about six months ago who managed to get online under my user name at one website, so I've been managing the damage from that ever since.

Monsieur Beep! said...

Reminds me of seeing the pretty fat young DJ of an ice rink being courted by the chicks a while ago. Obviously they felt at home with this meat ball. Admittedly, he had the aura women are after, unconciously, most of the time.

It's not the package you buy, it's the contents.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Okay, Final, I won't ask.
Not a single question.
You know me: discretion made man.





Was it a female quasi-room-mate? Is she hot looking? Did you do the nasty? Is she upset because you bonked her sister? Or her brother? After borrowing her wheels? Is her mother stalking you? Can't you get a court order? Can I get her phone number? What car do you drive? Can I borrow a fifty? Hey, are you going to finish those fries? How high is Mount Everest? Do you pick your nose? And your toes? And your teeth? In what order? What's your favorite color? What brand of cologne do you use, sir? Wanna buy cheap online meds? Buy an ancient Roman replica relic Rolex? Excuse me, you were saying? Will you vote for me? Are those real? What's the square root of American Pie? Can you calculate it in metric? Will you leave Britney alone? Do tax reports make you go a big rubbery one? Why not "just say no" to drugs? Did Roman paramedics refer to IVs as "fours"? How do you bring a tow truck to the garage if it has a breakdown? Can you lick your own elbow? Who cuts a hairdresser's hair? Who shaves a barber's beard? Why do they have costume attendants for porn movies? What's the capital of Burqini-Fatso? Did you walk the dog? Where's the TV remote? What time is it? What happened? Where am I?
C'mon, gimme all the juicy details. I promise, I won't tell a soul. Just my brother, and my mom, and my cat, and my goldfish, and the priest's parrot, and my janitor lady, and my buddies at the club, and the nice folks at Granny's retirement home, and the very select audience of my blog.
See? You can trust me.