A successful individual typically sets his next goal somewhat but not too much above his last achievement. In this way he steadily raises his level of aspiration.
-- Kurt Lewin
Interesting statement. I've noticed that ambitious individuals, including sometimes myself, often judges themselves against the most successful person in their field. And of course this just leads to continuous frustration, instead of satisfaction with your last success.
So instead of "the last play I was in did better than ever, it's wonderful", you have "I'm not bigger than Tom Cruise yet, it's horrible."
Even on a smaller level: back in school, in the subjects where we walked through a series of exercises individually (wood shop and typing), when I fell behind a couple of the fastest in the class, I lost the spirit and started coming late to class! That's just dumb. Maybe you should only compete with your past self.
20 comments:
Right, right, right! I love this quote! I try to teach this to my three children all the time. "Don't compare yourself to someone else. You'll always choose someone you can't measure up to and guarantee yourself disappointment and lower self-worth."
Compare yourself to how you were yesterday.
Try to make tomorrow better than today, no matter what you're trying to accomplish.
"individuals,..... often judge themselves against the most successful person"
When you measure your abilities. You want to compare with the best. It is our competitive nature to strive to be the best.
No one remembers who came in second place. If you are not the best. Then you are just average.
Joe
You risk disheartening your past self by being so competitive, you know.
"No one remembers who came in second place. If you are not the best."
Still, when Ben Johnson was disqualified for doping, the guy who came in second place got the gold medal...
If I followed athletism more than very remotely, I'd probably recall who that was.
I've always considered that coming second means that you're better than everybody else in the whole friggin' world, save for one.
Just don't challenge that one if the disciplin involved is "quickdraw dueling", that's all.
I must say, I just love sucking eggs. It is in my nature, you know.
And having duly studied the process scientifically, I can confirm that the force of one's aspiration is essential to the operation's success.
D'uh... Heeeey! Weasel am so styoopeed. I are smarter than Weasel. Baboon can flame anybody and they not be the wyzer, so there. Baboon can even make then cry, if they am girlies, hahahahaha.
Here be good eggzample:
"Hey, you think you're wizer than an the average joe... JOE? (snicker)" OOH-OOH-AH!
Signed: Anonymous.
Oh, dear. These two loons are loose again. (sigh) Why does this never happen with Matt Groening?... :-(
Don't be too sure, Tex. Don't have a cow, man.
P.S.: You look like your blood sugar is getting low. Here, eat my shorts!
[_8°)
"El Homo
was here."
Yesss! I'm first on THIS blog! I've beaten El Barto this time. Woo-hoo!
=(8°(|)
"No one remembers who came in second place.
Still, when Ben Johnson was disqualified for doping, the guy who came in second place got the gold medal..."
See what I mean. Mr. Johnson came in first and was disqualified. Now what was that other guy's name?
Joe
Well, like I said, I hardly take notice of sports at all. I recall Ben Johnson because at the time, the main TV news went wild with praise at his record, in a symbolic discipline that made it "the king of records". And what helped be remember his name, was when there was that huge scandal.
I've long lost my illusions about pro sports, and I've long been "dis-convinced" in their "official" wonderfulness.
I barely know a few pro athletes. And I usually know then for being good, not for winning one given event. I know Laure Manaudou fell from her top ranking before choosing to retire, but somehow, instead of getting all excited about the current woman champion (don't even know who she is), I got interested in the life story behind "Laure Manaudou the prodigy swimmer". Because I care more about THAT.
Okay, I confess, it's ALSO because Laure is a very VERY pretty woman whose face makes me melt. I "see" something in her. :-)
But the bottom line is: I don't care about the top line and who's drawn it.
For instance, I don't give a sewer rodent's dropping about how expensive Picasso's paintings have reached in auction sales. Because I'm just not into abstract. I much prefer Dali's imaginative inventiveness. And I know Dali for being such a complete person, not just "a famous painter".
Numbers, figures, somebody just being "numero uno", leave me perfectly indifferent.
I've never even opened the Guinness Book of Records, even less been interested in it. Like with most stuff, "99% of everything in it is just crap".
Maybe the Captain could remind us who this quote is from, because wit is more relevant than gold medals.
Gold medals? They're just trinkets. What counts is the worth of the person who received them. And what counts even more, to me, is the spirit in which they won that medal, because some "high distinctions" are just bogus. Have you seen Cars? Chick Hicks WON that historically coveted Piston Cup. But nobody even looked at that supremely poor sport of a racer.
That's what I'm talking about.
In a similar fashion, I'm supremely bored and uninterested by who won the latest and umpteenth "most beautiful/sexy woman in the world" contest/poll. The only contest that matters to me, is "woman I most want to be with and forget all the others".
Incidentally, that competition is still going on. Anybody can register. (Well, okay, I *did* say WOMAN, so technically it's not absolutely anybody. It's "girls only" night. ;-)
I remember Carl Lewis because he was constant in his excellence for so many years, and excelled in several disciplines. I recall Johnny Weismuller mainly because he so spectacularly overcame Polio, after being predicted that he'd never walk again. "Well, then I'll SWIM!" :-)
I make my own standards about who's worth noticing. Elitism is just silly.
This is, precisely, why I practically never have ONE SINGLE fave of anything, including among my friends. I've got several best friends. :-)
And I hate those who try to force me to choose and rank them!!!
It's not about quantity, it's about quality.
And quality, in humans, is unique to each of them. Everybody's special.
There are extremes in every sport. Those professional players are at the peak of their physical skills and body strength.
They have to spend endless hours of practice and dedicate a large portion of their childhood to achieve that level of proficiency.
In comparing yourself to others I was thinking more along the line of others that are near you in physical ability.
That would be more like when you were back in school. On the playground who could run the fastest. In the classroom who could score the highest on a test. In your own family the one that would get that last piece of pie.
I probably should say that instead of wanting to be the "best". No one wants to be the least.
That question about Ben Johnson.
It was Carl Lewis who came in second.
I had to look it up.
Joe
Well, after the first 10 years, Carl Lewis being first -or second if somebody had cheated- kind of became routine. ;-)
But I think I recall it, now that you mention it.
Guess what: for most of my school years, I was top of my class. And I don't mean "among the best", no, I was THE numero uno. All the time.
To be honest, the competition wasn't always very challenging...
But guess what? The day I stopped being THE first, "ahead of all the others", because nobody vaguely normal can remain #1 forever, was also the day I realized that family pressure wasn't just a figment. (Need I be specific? Are there many types of figments, anyway?)
The consequence was that I had never drawn such special pleasure from my being first, it felt natural and in fact effortless, I just enjoyed my parents being happy with me and all the reward gifts, but suddenly I was made to feel like a despicable traitor to the typical Lebanese cultural expectations. As if I had thanklessly stabbed my family in the back by suddenly bringing them such terrible shame. Something like "how COULD you do this to US? Haven't we always encouraged you?" (Yeah, sure. Mostly by repeating that "you must be the best, always". Gee, thanksalot, oh wise Merlin.)
Some of my aunts (and even my Dad) would mention my being "top of his class" around, like, all the time. Every time I met somebody new, that was practically my definition.
"For some bizarre reason", I only mention it myself when elitism is discussed, and to say I don't encourage it.
I know from firsthand experience. ):-(
Sure, it was nice being admired, what kid wouldn't like it? But I didn't crave it, or NEED it to exist, to ever be happy about my own worth. And it was without comparison with the extreme heat faced when my "kvelling addict" relatives went into acute withdrawal and blamed it all on me. It sure wasn't "worth it while it lasted".
I'd rather not tell you some of the absolutely terrible things I had to hear. It's not nice to repeat some things that some people said at some moment.
Is it any wonder that most Lebanese cheat their way to the Topmost Top of Society?...
We've even got a word for it: "shatara". The "art" of succeeding when you didn't deserve it, by being sneaky, "clever". The more undeserving at first, the greater the shatara.
Literally, "shatara" originally means the quality of a student that's top of his class... I'll let you people compete for the most adequate translation. :-P
I'll stop now, because I feel like I've started to rant.
Just this thought as a conclusion:
Excellence is an intrinsic quality. It's stictly about your own worth, it is a private matter. Not about comparison with others.
Comparison with others already has much uglier words to define it: vanity, envy, shallow pride, insecurity, lurking awareness of one's own unworthiness... coveting... evil eye...
P.S.: "My God is better than yours. Don't contradict me, or so help me, it will get ugly!"
I'm happy to be able to say I've never experienced anything remotely like that, in my family or Denmark.
See? No competitive spirit whatsoever.
This is why we proud Lebanese will always be superior to you decadent Westerners.
Two thousand years ago, our Phoenician ancestors brought the Alphabet to the world. Without us, none of you primitive barbarians would be able to read today!
Yup. The Lebanese are the lighthouse of the planet. Clear as daylight.
P.S.: I don't know about sucking, but in Lebanon, "eggs" is synonymous to "balls". The ones in your pants.
You'll do what you want with that.
The information, I mean. Not the "eggs"!!!
(Yeesh! So it's true what they say, that there are homosexuals in Europe.)
Wha...? Seventh time this morning!!! I'll have to update my blog.
Kess ekhet hal' balad @%#$& akhou sharmouta...
"The Lebanese are the lighthouse of the planet."
Interesting phallic metaphor there...
"Lighthouse"? Or "outhouse"?
Better visit after dark, so you won't be seen strolling around carrying a TP roll.
"I'm no pretender."
"Teaching grandmother to suck eggs - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ===
Teaching grandmother to suck eggs is an English saying, meaning that a person is giving advice to someone else about a subject that they already know about ..."
Al Jourgenson has a tendency for really dumb puns in titles, and I think this is a lame pun on "succeed" sounding like "suck seed", even though it doesn't mean anything.
"Guess what: for most of my school years, I was top of my class."
The only trouble with being the one on top. Is that everyone expects more from you. If you ever have an off day. Then you run the risk of being *normal*.
Once you have flown with eagles. It is tough to be down here with us turkeys.
Joe
"I think this is a lame pun on "succeed" sounding like "suck seed", even though it doesn't mean anything."
So go suck coconut tree seeds through a stainless steel straw, succeed, and then we'll see.
R.A.F.,
Say it 5 times fast.
I promise I'll visit you in the tongue trauma center. ;-)
"Once you have flown with eagles. It is tough to be down here with us turkeys."
Like Baudelaire said about the Albatross, in the eponymous poem:
Exiled on the ground amongst the booing
His giant's wing hinder him from walking
But I *like* walking too! :-(
And amidst the turkeys, you encounter many a superb peacock. And paradise birds. And sweet doves. And cute chicks. And...
Yes, and occasionally some utter cocks, too. But I don't mingle with these. ;-p
"The only trouble with being the one on top. Is that everyone expects more from you."
Yeah, well, a smart boy like me, it'll be a mere formality to figure out how I can do "even more". Right? :-p
Now, let's see... "better than the best", eh? So, if e^b >= b² + infinite, and the formula of the speed of light is 3x2(9YZ)4A, then we have Sigma = the integral of Knowledge x |Power| / mc² in a non-Euclidian L-space and then...
Hmm. This might take a couple of minutes, just let me erase this triple black board.
"So go suck coconut tree seeds through a stainless steel straw, succeed, and then we'll see."
Grind it into powder and mix with water. Wouldn't be that hard to do.
You are using narrow thinking when trying to solve a problem.
Joe
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