Friday, May 15, 2009

Wedding vows (updated)

My wedding vows to Helen.

Dear Helen, matrimony is a holy thing, so I will never break it. I will never enjoy even a smidgen of the pleasure of looking at another woman or thinking of one.

Everything I do will be for your benefit. Every second of my work I will work for you. I will suffer through all that we go through, with you at my side.

I will never complain when you are there. I will take with a smile all the pain and sorrow life with you will hurl at me. I will bite my tongue against the agony, and when death comes in the end, I will greet him as a friend and go gladly.

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Update: This was written very quickly in an inspiration after hearing using "marriage" and "death" in the same sentence in a weird way, or something. It was probably very late, and it seemed very funny to me when I wrote it. :-)

3 comments:

TC [Girl] said...

Hey, Eo...

Before you go and say those vows to your dear Helen, why don't you just crumple them up and vow to be her friend for the rest of both of your lives...if you can even *stand* each other in that capacity! lol! I'm thinking that would be less of a strain...on both of you! :0)

Kent McManigal said...

Or "Here's the knife. Castrate me now."

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

So touching... ;-)

Oh, and I also pledge to wait until either your mother has left the house before committing seppuku, or until you are out before disposing of her body by feeding it to the dog as homemade sausages.

No, don't thank me, you knew what an attentionate fellow I was when we got in chains... I mean, engaged!