Saturday, December 29, 2007

Die Hard 4.0

Just watching Die Hard 4.0.
It's an excellent action movie. Funny and captivating, like the first one.

And yet, why does Hollywood always insist that any action movie must have at least a couple of factors which are patently unrealistic? For example the villains not only being able to "get schematics" on their computer of a random tunnel that the hero has just entered by car, but getting them in 3D, and being able to re-route traffic into that tunnel by remote control. And not only that but being able to do it with literally five seconds of preparation time of figuring out how to do it! (There was no way they could have predicted needing to do it.)

Also the villains can remotely and instantly "reroute gas lines" to get a power plant to blow up... "Reroute gas lines"? What does that even mean?

Why aren't there writers in Hollywood specifically paid to fix scripts so they become realistic? It can't be all that damn hard. Just use 0.1% of the budget of a big movie, and you can have all the brain power you could want, willing and eager to help you. Heck, I'm sure there are loads of films fans and geeks out there who would love to do the work for free.

I dunno. The idea that perhaps the people in the world to whom these errors seem obvious are so few that they don't matter to the market is a very scary thought. That's a world that's hard to trust with anything.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are you sure those are the only unrealistic things? The Die Hard movies, from Day One, were nearly 100% unrealistic. That's the fun. I have only seen the first one, and it was absolutely preposterous. A great movie, but definitely barely a shred of reality.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

"Are you sure those are the only unrealistic things?"

Not by a long shot.

I dunno, maybe I changed.

Anonymous said...

I dunno, maybe I changed.

You changed, man! You used to be cool! ;-)

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

"Reroute gas lines"? What does that even mean?

Well, d'uh! Via computer, you flip an electronic switch, and the gas goes another way, just like electricity. Any bit of tubing that makes contact is enough, provided it is conductive (translate: hollow). Failing that, a nylon stocking and a hairpin might do.

Sheesh, you non-geeks can be so ignorant of modern technology, sometimes. I bet you still don't download bronze statues of nekkid chicks trough the internet by using a USB wine tap terminal!
Lol e-pop!

Hey, Terrance and Philip! Listen to me rerouting this lunch's chili!

(>_<)

(South Park Emoticon, the latest fad)

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

The worst I've seen (Resident Evil) was somebody opening a locked door by jiggling a knife in a magnetic-card reading slot!

Anonymous said...

If you are watching crap like Resident Evil, you are asking for it. These movies you're talking about are meant for people like you so stop complaining.

Anonymous said...

Now I understand that this is an extremely personal taste, but I actually think stuff like that can be charming at times. Once, me and one of my friends were playing Final Fantasy X-2, and I made the observation that the characters' main headquarters didn't have enough beds for everyone that was staying there. Then, she pointed out that no one actually slept in this game, so we concluded that those beds must be used for something other than sleeping. My point is that sometimes I just enjoy poking fun at this stuff, and people I'm with usually get a laugh out of it too. That's how I feel anyway.

Anonymous said...

I personally don't care whether they are realistic or not. If only they were the least bit interesting then I could actually watch one.

Yes, Hollywood movies would change if they hired scriptwriters with a different approach.

But there is a much faster way to change the situation. Start watching films were they already did that. Ones where the goal was to actually create something interesting. Not just serve the McDonald's eating American teenagers.

Anonymous said...

You know, not everything must be art-house garbage, or educational. I'd rather die right now than go my whole life experiencing only things that were good for me, or only things that someone else had decided was worthwhile. I haven't seen Resident Evil, I don't play video games, and I have seen only the first Die Hard. I don't see many movies or many action movies. Sometimes mindless junk can be entertaining and relaxing. A steady diet of it would not be good, but that is true of any kind of junk.

P.S. It's interesting how Europeans have made it a near-universal pastime to trash all things American. I wonder if the British had to endure this, back in the day when they were a power.

P.P.S. Once again, I'm not American.

Anonymous said...

"I'd rather die right now than go my whole life experiencing only things that were good for me, or only things that someone else had decided was worthwhile."

Amen. Life's too short to be smart all the time.

Anonymous said...

Heck, I'm sure there are loads of films fans and geeks out there who would love to do the work for free.

Except that despite what geeks would like to believe, they aren't any smarter than the average person. They wouldn't be capable of doing the job. And a lot of them love the nonsense. Quentin Tarantino loves those cheesy Japanese and Chinese martial arts movies - most fans of the genre in fact know that these are unbelievably bad, almost completely unrealistic movies. That's why they love them. We just had this discussion. It can be applied to movies too. Eolake would probably have gotten along quite well with Fredric Wertham.

Amen. Life's too short to be smart all the time.

Thanks, that's probably the only positive response I'll get. Not that that's a surprise - any time anyone deviates from the back-slapping yes-man, sir-yes-sir mentality around here they get beat down - or at least this bunch of nerds attempts a beat-down. A circle-boot will scrawny, pencil-neck, spindly-leg geeks doesn't really work too well! :-)

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

"It's interesting how Europeans have made it a near-universal pastime to trash all things American."

Ah, I think that's an exaggeration, fortunately.

Also you'll find that you'll complain much more about the negative aspects of somebody you love, than of somebody you don't care about. All the world has a love/hate affair with America.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

"any time anyone deviates from the back-slapping yes-man, sir-yes-sir mentality around here they get beat down"

Come on, Joe, that's just not true. Apart from one Anon type guy, this is a very healthy place.

Also, I started by saying that Die Hard 4 is "Funny and captivating", so it's not like you're totally going against the stream here. :)
I think both I and most commentators here usually see things in many more colors than black and white.

Anonymous said...

I admit it can be sometimes hard to tell, but usually I'm joking. I mean, the people who come here or at least the ones who stay are going to be like-minded people.

As for anonymouses, I like having them around, especially when no one replies to them. As Steve Davis said, "It can be a lonely place out there in the middle of the table."

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

"I admit it can be sometimes hard to tell, but usually I'm joking."

Well, could you make it a *little* more obvious? You make me and Pascal look like Jim Carrey.

Anonymous said...

I could, but where's the fun in that? I admit I was only half-joking in this case, because sometimes it does seem like anyone voicing an opinion not shared by the rest is kind of dumped on. I mean, someone here at one point quoted Douglas Adams saying virtually the same thing I had in an earlier thread - but when Douglas Adams says it, people sit at their computers, scratch their chin, and nod understandingly, thinking "How wise that Douglas Adams was. What a great man."

Note: This is one of those moments when I'm joking, though there is an undercurrent of seriousness.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

It's fun to keep people guessing a little bit, but you gotta give people a fighting chance. If *nobody* can tell you're joking, then I think we've "fallen in the opposite ditch" as we Danes say it.
:)

Anonymous said...

I think it has something to do with "Im not going to let a little thing like 'reality' get in the way of me getting my 12 dollars worth."

I think the idea of John McCain not having to stop every 5 minutes to catch his breath is the most unbelievable thing in the whole movie (and yes I am including the airplane fight)

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Well, some people are in unbelievable shape.

On the other hand, both him and others take beatings in this movie that would maim normal humans, something they do cop to in the commentary track.

Anonymous said...

I wasn't trying to keep anyone guessing, I thought it would be obvious when I was joking, not joking, and kind being half-serious, half-joking... I guess it's asking too much, maybe.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

It's very tough to do in text and in a mixed forum.

For instance when do in April Fool jokes on the sites, I have found I have to lay it one *really* thick to not get tons of people eating it raw.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

"You make me and Pascal look like Jim Carrey."

I'll take that as a compliment. :-)
And I've heard it before, always from a happy audience. I like doing Jim Carrey stuff at times, it takes all kinds of fun to enjoy life.

As for the Anon tank, I'll just say this: "Whoa! Do NOT go in there!" :-D

Leviathud panted...
"I think the idea of John McCain not having to stop every 5 minutes to catch his breath is the most unbelievable thing in the whole movie (and yes I am including the airplane fight)"


Just WATCHING it left me short of breath! :-D
But all the more spectaculat, you've got to admit. "Your 12 dollars worth" of adrenalin.

P.S.: That's McClane. John McCain is a prominent Republican politician!