Saturday, December 29, 2007

David

David, the McDonalds generation.

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

Beautiful!

Anonymous said...

I cant stop laughing... funniest thing I have seen for a while. Keep 'em coming.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

A big, fat LOL!

Yo-ho-ho, and a rubbery one.

Anonymous said...

Is this Eolake as David? It's a pretty good likeness, but too skinny.

Anonymous said...

Nah, Eolake's got more stubble. And hopefully a bigger dick.

Anonymous said...

There's nothing wrong with David's dick .. neither the thin one nor the fat one.

Anonymous said...

It looks pretty small.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Maybe, but in any case I think the fat one's boobs are too big. ;-)

Medically, obese men are less virile because the enzymes in the excess adipose tissue increase the oestrogen/testosterone ratio.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if they could use this and the real one in some kind of diet ad campaign - the before and the after. This lardo wouldn't have a chance against Goliath.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Ah, but you forget that Goliath might also be aptly named himself, in a modern point of view...

If THAT's "little" David, imagine what "gigantic Goliath" must look like! Probably more Big Show than Brock Lesnar, I'll bet.
No, on second thought, perhaps you shouldn't imagine it. Better safe than scarred for life.

The USA are bracing themselves for a major public health crisis. By 2030, 40 to 50% of their population will be, not overweight, but officially obese. Ouch.
They'd better start resizing their army uniforms right now if they intend to "liberate" Sudan or Burma...

How ironic, that being too fat has become a typical sign of POVERTY in "wealthy" countries.
And to think in some places of Africa, obesity is still associated with wealth, and sought after. A time lag of one whole century. Amazing.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Scratch nearly-slim Big Show. Make that Rikishi.
Or Yokozuna. Now THERE's a modern American Goliath.

Anonymous said...

Rikishi's at least Samoan.

Anonymous said...

If that's David, Goliath would have to be one of those bedridden dudes, like the half-ton man:

http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Eating_Disorders/news_2006/obesity_2.asp

or the 750 pound man:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/88468/750_pound_man/

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Anon just said something very sensible:
People in the Pacific islands, like Samoans, have a genetic predisposition to gain a lot of weight (insulin resistance genes). The consequence of many famins in their history until very recently. The same can be seen in Lebanon, and in fact a lot of countries that were very poor until the last century.

Being Samoan isn't an "excuse". But it's definitely part of the explanation.

Cliff Prince said...

Samoan gene pools have the world's most successful rugby teams, per capita and expenditure, by a far sight. Bigness is useful in certain contexts. :)

I like the joke-David but (as I can state from my regular unfortunate experience in looking at obese people) I'd have to say his legs aren't big enough. Extremely strong quads and calves are developed by most obese people, to carry all that upper-body weight around. They look like professional weight-lifting power-squatters from the waist down.

(My word-verification query for this post is "wsxqk." Imagine what you'd get for that in Scrabble!)

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

"Extremely strong quads and calves are developed by most obese people"

Who also develop premature joint wear at the knees, because cartilage can only take so much abuse. The classic real-life "giants with clay feet".
Makes middle age unpleasant very early. :-(

Anonymous said...

Talking about weightlifters made me think about...weightlifters. You see these guys in the Olympics, and usually at the highest weight class they look like real lardos. But they're obviously extremely powerful. Are they fit? Look at Vasily Alexeyev:

http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Field/7342/Va1-2.jpg

or

Hossein Reza Zadeh:
http://www.netglimse.com/celebs/pages/hossein_reza_zadeh/1.shtml

Olympic weightlifters of lower weight classes usually look more athletic. I wonder if guys this fat can be healthy at the same time. It's not like just being fat makes them strong, they have to train. Your average couch potato lard ass wouldn't be able to hoist 500 lbs in the clean-and-jerk. I also wonder if they would be capable of doing anything other than lifting huge weights.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Very good questions. Maybe they are sacrificing their health by lifting such weights, and also sacrificing their health to be *able* to lift such weights. I wouldn't be surprised.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Some weightlifters LOOK fat. They are not necessarily so, not always. Some are, while never really being like a couch potato underneath. (Stating the obvious here!) Anyway, it's all anaerobic effort, a rather specific kind of discipline. Very intense and very brief still effort, so it doesn't require the same body as a runner or a jumper. You can be a champion there even with a big belly. I think there are some intrinsic biological factors required to become a champion weight lifter.
Or, it might be a consequence of the specific steroids they use.

But there's something else.

Essentially, "extreme" weight lifting and training for it causes a great increase in a naturally occurring phenomenon, known as micro-fractures of the bone. It's exactly the same principle as metal fatigue, where the cumulation of these localized microscopic fractures ends up weakening and breaking the strongest steel.
But bone, which comparatively is as strong a steel, is different: it is a living structure, constantly self-repairing, which can last as long as its self-repair mechanisms don't get exhausted by old age (causing osteoporosis). In fact, under some specific conditions, a fractured bone that healed in an incorrect position may self-straighten itself, if the default is in the same direction as the mechanical strains received under normal functioning. Bone is self-adapting, and constantly rebuilding itself at the microscopic level.

But in weightlifters, this mechanism shows the one flaw in its normally perfect principle: this discipline causes a constant accumulation of many, many micro-fractures. Professional athletic training, by principle, pushes the body to the extreme of its biological adaptative possibilities, especially in today's hyper-competitive world.
The consequence: weightlifters' bones self-repair, and even strengthen themselves in adaptation... but the extreme mechanical stress causes a compacting of their structure. The micro-fractures ARE repaired, but in a slightly, continuously deformed manner. With the self-adjusting mechanism to mechanical efforts, they end up ALMOST normal... but with a thicker, shorter bone frame. It's like very slowly reacting clay. This is especially visible in men who start regularly lifting weights before their growth is completed, putting pressure on their growth cartilages. Typically, they're both sturdy... and markedly short! Stocky. A real stereotype.

Sport, regular physical exercise, is good. Great, even. Very useful to health, and pleasant to life. But extreme sports, going pro? Definitely not something I'd recommend. For the glory of a brief career "at the top", you'll use up all the biological potential of your youth, wear your structure down, snap tendons, etc. There's a very sensible reason why our body almost never functions at its full potential. Because that potential is a safeguard in case of accident or illness. We need that "money in the bank", and should not squander it faster than the interest compounds.

I suppose this answers your question, Eolake, and quite widely.

I'll file a restraint regarding endurance disciplines, like marathon for example. These push the body's adaptation in a whole different direction that of stamina at the cellular level. So far, I know of no negative consequences, except if you're a sumo wrestler trying to keep you mass. ;-)
Just remember not to ignore your limits. Over-estimating your stamina can kill you. You need to have an optimal knowledge of your possibilities, or you'll end up like Cameroon football player Marc-Vivien FoƩ, who died during a pro competition presumably because a diarrhea had left him in a relatively dehydrated state before the match. Soccer is all about stamina.
Poor MVF had a stupid, transient electrolyte imbalance, that would never have harmed him if he had just rested a few days. Abusing the biological safeguards...
The fact that he had a heart defect also played a part, but not alone I believe. He could have lived decades more and not have a single doubt.

"I also wonder if they would be capable of doing anything other than lifting huge weights."

Anything markedly different, definitely not. It's pure "bench-press" strength, optimized for one specific type of effort. They wouldn't be useless in other kinds, but they'd be poorly adapted. For instance, they have zero stamina, it's all towards the instant and brief effort. If I want a "perfect" athlete, I'll look in the decathlon discipline. Now THESE are sportive Jacks-of-all-trades, masters of many. They face the inconveniences of professional sports, but in the most balanced possible way.

And imagine, at the Olympics, having to qualify and then compete for not one, or two, but TEN events. Hats off, gentlemen. Salute to the champions of champions.

Anonymous said...

MVF at least was fortunate enough not to live to read Pascal's gold medal-winning most verbose post of the century.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Aargh! My stamina against irony has been exceeded!
I think, I'm going to die right here and now.
Farewell, cruel world. I... (gasp) still... (aarhh) loved you!...

.*.

Anonymous said...

If I want a "perfect" athlete, I'll look in the decathlon discipline. Now THESE are sportive Jacks-of-all-trades, masters of many. They face the inconveniences of professional sports, but in the most balanced possible way.

Definitely. It's cool that the record for the 100m in Decathlon is pretty close to the record of specialists in the 100m. I mean, you know, considering that decathletes have to master ten disciplines.

The decathlon is more in the spirit of the original Olympics.

Monsieur Beep! said...

Hey I've just overheard this one on the radio and NEED to share it with you:

A very big lady sends her clothes including her bra to have it all washed at a laundry.
After a few days the clean items are returned with a notice containing the following remark: "Dear customer,we hope you're satisfied with our service, or would you have wished us to impregnate those two tents?"

Anonymous said...

Ah, curses! I wish *I* had thought of this joke first, to make it on Eolake. Somehow.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Joe Dick said...
"The decathlon is more in the spirit of the original Olympics."


Well spotted.
Then again, it takes one to know one. :-)

[Heh...] Beep, my little nephews have a toy tent just like you describe.
Provided that bra ALSO had Spider-Man pictures on it! :-D