Monday, August 13, 2007


I was just thinking today: the term "F.Y.I." (For Your Information) is really redundant, isn't it? What other reason do you have to tell somebody something other than to inform them?

And in that vein, I just got this:
Stephen Wright Musings

Here's a few amusing thoughts, tidbits and nuggets that have been rolling around in the mind of comedian Stephen Wright:

* I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

* I had amnesia once - maybe twice

* All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.

* What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

* They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.

* Two can live as cheaply as one. For half as long.

* Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

* What if there were no hypothetical questions?

* One nice thing about egotists, they don't talk about other people.

* When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

* What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

* I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

* The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

* How can there be self-help "groups?"

* The speed of time is one second per second.

* Is it possible to be totally partial?

* What's another word for thesaurus?

* Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?

* If a number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?

* It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.


Alex said...

FYI is used to clarify that it is information for retention, rather than information implying required action. Least ways, that's how it's used in the valley.

I need to get some more Wright. Sometimes reminiscent of Foxworthy.

Anonymous said...

F.Y.I. is only used by gay men.

Hannah said...

Ooh, does that mean I'm confused and actually a gay man? Thanks for letting me know! :)

Cliff Prince said...

Well, I'm a gay man and I never use FYI. Oh, and I'm not gay. Oh, and I'm not a man. FYI.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

I'm a man, and I'm gay. Sometimes. In the classic definition of that word, anyway.

Hannah said...

LOL Does this mean we're crazy? :)

Anonymous said...

Only if the voices tell you that you are.

Anonymous said...

F.Y.I.: Fags Yelling Indignantly. And for your information, we're going to sue your meanie macho site, so there!

Did Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "fours"?

If you believe in telekinesis, please raise my hand.

God lied down on the shrink's couch and said: "Doc, I don't believe in myself any more".

I always get up at 14 in the morning.

If we're alone in the Universe, it does seem like an awful waste of Space.

The perfect liar will randomly tell the truth half of the time... just to confuse you!

Darwin Awards: Man as the bottom of Evolution.

The chicken or the egg? A circle has no beginning!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To escape stupid riddles!

How do vampires shave without a reflection?

Is it dangerous to moon a werewolf? In daytime?

Anonymous said...

hannah said...
LOL Does this mean we're crazy? :)

Yep! ;-)

Anonymous said...

Of course, since we are all the same person (as my Anonymous Flamer alter ego forced me to confess), then maybe some of "me's" are almost sane.

The hard part is finding out which ones. I think Pascal sells hats to March hares, and Eolake has a fixation on naked women, so these two are definitely out. Let's see, who else?
Hannah? Wears one of my hats. Same with Final Identity (not the same hat, though). Joe Dick? Too freudian, the name says it all! TTL? Too acronymous, these Two-Three Letters. Definitely at odds with the self-image, photographer or not. Peaceful Blade? Too heroic-fantasy. Terry? Too nice, he can't be for real. Smart Alex? Naah, a genius always has some hidden psychosis. Beep? Hooked on Speed, always zooming off in the desert. Shucks, there's nobody left. The Doc will be so disappointed. (Or are the Doc and Pascal the same? Where's my memo list? What time is it? Now I should be turning into...)

Ah-HAH! "Jason with a chainsaw" seems balanced enough. Works in Nature, pro hockey player, famous Hollywood actor... the ideal son-in-law! Especially, the chainsaw looks well-balanced. Follow Your Instinct, I always say.

(Wow, this homebrew coffe is something else! A real neuron-nudger. What did I put in it, and who was I when I made it?)

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

How about Signalroom? She seems sane, and has great hair.

Alex said...

Pascal said "Smart Alex? Naah, a genius always has some hidden psychosis."

I think I'll take that as a complement. My first professional job was listed as "Genius required" in the Liverpool Echo back in June 1992. I must have had the same sense of humour as the boss there. He signed me up very quickly.

Nice to see my genius is still recognized ;-)

Anonymous said...

I *would* confirm the compliment, except I'm worried that'd compromise my collective modesty. Let's say, it's a compliment only to the Alex in us. To spare the rest from temptation. ;-)

Signalroom? Yeah, she's very sane. And super nice. But a woman, so I can't want to be her when I'm a hetero man. Or when I'm a gay man, I guess. Maybe. Though it might all change in five minutes.

Aargh! This is all so confusing! I feel a Furious Yo-yo Incoming. Better let another me comment while this one cools off. Time to pick.
Digging in an evil hole,
Hi-ho, hi-ho,
Slaughter the merry mole...

Ooh, pink pills! For little old me? Hawh sweeyt of y'all.

Anonymous said...

I feel quite sane now. Except that I'm out of gasoline, can't find a pump, and it's driving me mad! My tool's got a nasty itch.

Jason the lumberjack