Monday, March 26, 2007

Mechanisms in conversation

I have found that for conversation to flow the smoothest, it pays off to pay attention beyond what you actually say, to what can be perceived from what you say.

For instance, we humans often feel we're under attack, even when we're not. So it helps to make sure what you say can't be interpreted wrongly.

Example:
Wrong: "I thought we were meeting in front of the restaurant, you did not say you would be inside."
Right: "Sorry, I didn't get that we were meeting inside."

Wrong: "Did you put the cat out for the night?"
Right: "Is the cat out for the night?"

Try to avoid using "you said" or "you did" in situations where there could be issues of blame.

5 comments:

Paul Sunstone said...

Good advice! A lot of arguments and hurt feelings could be avoided simply by our taking more care with our word choice.

Anonymous said...

Hey, mister Eolake, that's what YOU say, buster! Nothing forces me to agree with you, you know.

Who died and put you in charge of this fine blog, anyway? ;-)

(Oopsie! I forgot to set the Caps Lock on my keyboard. My bad. Just read my post in a loud voice, please, if you'll be so kind, and the effect will be the same. Thank you so much in advance.)

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Wow, I love how your humor is so subtle. :)

Anonymous said...

P.S.: Your own discussion field is biased and aggravating. Every &@%$# time I post a comment, it reads: "Pascal SAID..."
Why don't you enforce your OWN advice, hunh?

Granted, since my admitted pet peeve is people who never give me any occasion for griping, that means I really like you. I love to hate you. You know what? You're a saint, dude!

Anonymous said...

I remember I already read somewhere this piece of advice that you're giving, and I agree that it works.
I've included the advice in my personal manual which guides me how to handle my peers.
It works well!

always look at the bright side of life
is working for me just as well :-)
It needs some training, though.