I'm thinking this (below) creates highly tense and neurotic people, who in the end will have only one thing on their mind, that which is forbidden.
Or people like the youth in Salt Lake City, who by many reports don't consider oral sex to be sex.
In any case... what's the f***ing point? I can understand that abstinence from intercourse prevents STDs and pregnancy, but what's the point of this? These poor, poor people.
Update: related is this article about erotica and the elderly.
======
Mormon Instructions on Mas*tur*ba*tion
From a Guide to Mormon Youth
Enlist The Power Of Prayer
Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation.
Pray fervently and out loud when the temptations are the strongest.
When the temptation to mas*tur*ba*te is strong, yell "Stop!" to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind. Then recite a portion of the Bible or sing a hymn.
Exercise Vigorously
Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise, which reduces emotional tension and depression.
Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.
Set Goals
Set a goal of abstinence. Begin with a day, then a week, month, year.
Finally, commit yourself to never doing it again.
Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you but show it to no one.
If you mas*tur*ba*te , color that day black. Your goal will be to have no black days.
The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder, and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day.
Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.
Set up a reward system. Each time you reach a goal, award yourself a quarter. Spend it on something that delights you.
Work On Self-Improvement
Work daily on a self-improvement program. Improve your relationships with your family. Increase your service to your church.
Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking with them.
Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self-image.
Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations.
Avoid Temptation
When on the toilet or showering, leave the door partly open.
Arise immediately in the mornings. Don't lie awake in bed -- start each day with enthusiastic activity.
Avoid people, situations, pictures and reading material that might create sexual excitement.
Use Physical Restraints
Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.
Put on several layers of clothing that would be difficult to remove while half asleep.
Hold an object -- for example, a Bible -- even in bed at night.
In severe cases, tie a hand to the bed frame.
Be Alert To Emotions
Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to mas*tur*ba*te as a way of escape.
Plan to counter these low periods through reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.
Employ aversion therapy. To cancel out the pleasurableness of mas*tur*ba*ting , associate something very distasteful with the act. For example, imagine bathing in a tub of worms and eating some of them.
26 comments:
That sounds like it was written in the 60's doesn't it?
First off... I don't think oral sex is sex, not really. But then, those definitions can all be really different.
These instructions seem kind of absurd to me. And certainly way over done. But somehow I seem to have some trouble with breaking out of the things I learned as a kid - touching yourself is bad. How strange that I somehow feel guilty for not going to the lengths described in the piece...
Well well, those instructions serve as a "good" means how to make the masturbation a main theme, a center, of your life. Just doing anything and everything to avoid it, you definitely get stuck to it, becoming obsessed. How narrow your view of life then can get! It reminds me of an old joke of telling someone not to think a pink ellephant - that's an excellent way how to get them doing (thinking) it! :-)))))
right dreamingwolf, setting up a resistence strengthens the unwanted behavior. Reminds me of something the Zen Master Seung Sahn did once as a teachig tool for this one student who was very neurotic about his cravings for white bread. He kept going to SS complaining that he knew white bread was bad for you, but he craved it always and snuck it when he could. Soen Sa Nim made him carry a loaf of Wonder Bread around with him all day long, instructing him he MUST eat a piece every time he craved it. The guy did this for a week, and after a week he never wanted to see a piece of Wonder Bread again.
It's the ancient feeling of wanting to be free of the physical senses. That somehow pleasure and pain in the physical realm are not what we're here for.
I've experimented with food. I've found I have lost weight only when I've received complete pleasure in whatever I eat, letting go all guilt. I found it was guilt that made me fat, not delicious food.
laurie
p.s. I think that list was from the 1950's? Don't tell me it's modern???
I had to re-read this out loud to my boyfriend. We lauged out loud, it is so pathetic!
It can't be for real.
Can't be for real? This kind of piece hits home fairly hard for me, so I guess people look at things differently than others.
I'll bet there are still towns were dancing is considered immoral.
A la Footloose?
Exactly.
I thought it was fanciful, but no.
Of course it's been twenty years, I don't know.
I like that film, by the way.
Heh... I had already seen this holy abomination once.
So... let me get this straight : sex would be the only thing that may be okay (under certain conditions) if you do it with/to somebody else, but if you do it alone it's automatically wrong? What it you "keep yourself in the mood" while the missus has to go briefly to the bathroom? Decisions, decisions...
There's one letter in excess. It should read : "Guide to MORON Youth"
They forgot one advice : "If all else fails, take a blunt blade, sterilize it by urinating on it, and carefully cut off ALL of your genitals. Then go join our Lord's Church, and find out that they won't take eunuchs, because the chastity vow of priests doesn't allow cheating." (That last part is authentic. Since the Bible, castrates are not accepted in the Clergy. They were welcome in religious choirs, though...)
Judeo-christian culture hates not only free sex, but masturbation too. Why? Probably because they cannot bear the idea of sex NOT being maximally used for procreation-within-marriage, which is a strategic demographic weapon for the "community of believers". Grow and multiply like wedded rabbits, and don't let the muslims / heathens / liberals / rationals / intellectuals / atheists become more numerous than us, or God will lose the fight for world domination, oh my!
If you can alleviate tension by M*a*s*what*ever, you won't be in the greatest possible hurry to marry the first of your 16 permitted wives, d'uh! (Some mormon communities still challenge US law and are holding on to polygamy in all impunity.)
DreamingWolf, what can I say? When you're right, you're right! [Which you'll always be, if you agree with me. ;-) ]
Besides, the only circumstance in which it's better to lose than to win is when you're fighting temptation. :-D
It's always about propaganda and mind control. Dictatorship through the constant fear of sin, making every citizen his own warden. The best prison is the one you're not aware of, because then you won't even THINK about escaping.
"Look into my eyes. Follow the pendulum. Good. Now repeat after me: «I am happy. I am free. I follow God.»"
P.S.: Hey, Reverend, is the Playstation considered "playing with maself"???
Now, please excuse me, I feel the craving for a cup of... hot coffee! ;-)
I wonder... do Mormons prohibit fishing contests? You know, because in order to win you need to be a master baiter!
Incidentally, the biblical term "Onanism" is a deliberate fraud to alledgedly prove that doing "it" causes blindness, madness, etc. Onan (Genesis 38:7-10) was compelled by religious law to marry his late brother's widow and give her a descendance (the only way for a woman to socially exist then!). He was reluctant, so he went to "know" her, and "cheated on the ground", which most likely means he withdrew, inventing the coitus interruptus. God punished him (not with blindness, BTW, but with death) not for masturbating, but for trying to disobey his Lord's Law. Denying social existence to a helpless woman isn't nice.
I'll also point out Loth's daughters' episode. Incest is deemed okay, as the lesser evil compared to having the lineage end. You don't need to follow the Qoran, the Bible can also provide plenty of excuses for litteral fanatics and other holy monsters. BTW, the Quran specifies a list of women (4:22-24) with whom marriage is strictly forbidden : your sister, your mother, daughter, aunt, niece, father's daughter (in a polygamist society)... Say what you want about Muhammad, but he didn't like incest.
I'm again converging on my pet topic, but I don't care much about one's religion, nationality or culture. Everywhere, there are wise people, and dispicable ones, and everywhere I consider the sensible ones as friends and the others as trouble.
Hannah,
Technically, oral sex isn't intercourse. But it is definitely an act of a sexual nature, this nobody can deny. ("For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's...")
Laurie,
You've reminded me of the Drunk's paradox in The Little Prince. The child meets the drunk, and like any normal perky child, he starts the questions game. "What are you doing, Mister? -I'm drinking. -Why? -To forget. -Forget what? -My shame. -You're ashamed of what? -Of being a drunk. (Gulp!)"
The compulsive attitude of over-eating, and focusing on sweets or the like, is well-identified as a self-gratifying act to elude one's issues. Sometimes, just one's issues with enjoying food!!! Or sex.
Me, I drink alcohol whenever I feel like it. After considering it freely. It once happened three times in a single week. But it can also be zero times for six months, like now (and counting). "I don't have a drinking problem." ;-)
Now, if I also felt THAT indifferent toward chocolate, I'd be a saint. :-)))
Do you know what many arab/muslim tourists notoriously do, when they come to (relatively) liberal Lebanon, or travel to Europe? They go out to bars or night-clubs, and get thoroughly drunk! Islam prohibits alcohol, so in their countries the stuff doesn't even exist. I'm so glad to be free to BE moderate. I confess, I can't resist the lure of the forbidden. I'm like a cat, to me closed doors are like so many magnets. Here, the national chritian clergy had the Da Vinci Code banned, not caring for the Vatican's stated position. Now, I'm hopelessly eager to read the book, be it just out of spite! "Give me liberty, or give me sex. Or better yet, give me both!!!"
Don't worry, fellas. I haven't tried every drug in the book just yet. One pertinent reason is, I feel free to, so I ALSO feel free not to. Reading testimonials about drugs was enough discovery for my curious yet sensible mind.
"A la Footloose?"
"A loose foot is the first step on the road to perdition, young lady!" Um... or was that an idle hand? Lucky for me, my hands never stay idle very long! (Said in a knowing tone of voice, blink-blink, nudge-nudge.)
8*P~~~
"In any case... what's the f***ing point?"
Eolake, the point should be f***ing, precisely.
Please allow me to expand(!) the idea :
Masturbation and *** for Morons
- Enlist The Power Of Prayer
"Please, please, God, let me get laid tonight, it's been two long, lonely weeks already!" Sounds familiar?
Pray fervently, but not out loud if your date is near you! Otherwise, she'll yell "Stop!" to those thoughts and leave you with the restaurant's bill and an evening alone. In which case, you might as well jump to the next section immediately.
However, repeating "Oh, God!" when you're feeling close to Heaven is highly recommended.
Try praying doubles. It can be a real mystic experience.
Kiss the object of your worship, it's always appreciated. Make a generous donation before you leave.
- Exercise Vigorously
If you need this one explained, buddy, you're not a real man! You should ALWAYS exercise your muscle vigorously, see?
Here's a tip : double your speed when you feel you can't stand it any more. You'll thank me for that one...
- Set Goals
If you're not at second base after a week, it's time for a switch of players. The goal is to score!
Keep records. You should be able to do at least half as well when you're twice this age, otherwise it means you need more in-depth training on the field.
Use strong visual reminders if you feel your... "motivation" dropping. They should be looked at when you are tempted to take a day off. Hard work is its own reward.
Practice your aiming on targets. Get together with your buddies and organize shooting contests. (Remember to drink plenty of fluids, it helps.)
- Work On Self-Improvement
Body-building helps attract babes. Use a vacuum pump to buff up those soft spots. Practice daily, long and hard, stick to the program. Improve your relationships with ALL the girls you know. Who knows? Each of them could be a golden opportunity.
Go out more, make friends, expand your social network, fill your address book. Force yourself to be with others and overcome your natural shyness. Do like the italians, if you're no good with words, express yourself with your hands, si? Latin style works every time.
Change in dating success is most easily achieved through a changed self-image.
Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming lassitude. Stamina is all in the mind.
- Beat Temptation
The best way to end a war is to end it quick. If temptation appears too strong, heck, just surrender right away! If ya can't beat them, join'em.
When changing clothes, in your bath or showering, leave the door partly open. You never know who might pass by. Opportunities, opportunities, opportunities.
In the mornings, you should be aroused immediately. Hail to the morning boner is a sacred moment, boy!
But don't lie awake in bed -- erotic dreams comme better when you sleep. And they develop the imagination.
Avoid people, situations, pictures and reading material that might threaten sexual excitement. Men in robes, boring lectures, Fox News, Jerry Falwell's biography...
- Use Physical Restraints
Bondage and Sado-Maso (BDSM) increase the kinkiness of the situation, and therefore the enjoyment.
Pick places where you might be seen, the risk feeling is a great aphrodisiac. Fantasize on being inadvertently found out by a bus full of lost girl-scouts while tied up naked on a bed.
In severe cases of lack of inspiration, rent Basic Instinct and take notes. Replace the ice pick with a more pleasurable symbol of power.
Try Srip Poker. Cheat to lose.
- Be Alert To Emotions
A woman loves foreplay. After you see the effect on her mood, sensitivity and openness will become your best friends.
Be aware of situations that ruin the mood. No TV sports when in company, EVER! Listen to her, share thoughts. By giving pleasure you'll receive pleasure. You may not reach simultaneous orgasm on the first go. It's okay, you can try again. And again. And again...
Employ use diverting. A bathtub full of molten chocolate opens lots of possibilities. And chocolate will put you in the mood. Try covering your mate entirely, and then playing missionary. Or a "licking cannibal" contest. Remember what Freud said : there's never anything distasteful with the act. (Ask your taste buds!)
There! I think this is much better than the first draft. A+ material.
HA HA HA, Pascal, that last piece was your funniest to date.
LT, I'm glad you stepped into freedom.
Laurie
"Porn calms Danish seniors"? Hell, why on Earth not?
Who has the right to decree that if you're old, you should just sit quietly there in your corner like a nice potted geranium, and just be glad that you're still breathing? The same people who grant themselves the right to forbid teenagers from masturbating until they reach their majority, maybe?
Let me tell you a little something about senoir citizens : a majority of them have depression, and it is considered socially normal. Well, it isn't! My grandmother has been treated for it, and now she has regained her will to live. "Putting aside" old people is a way of "gently" killing them. Otherwise put : repressing seniors' sexuality, or other pleasures, instead of encouraging them to enjoy life to the fullest and till the very end, is a crime. It's indirect euthanasia to people who don't need to die just by giving up life.
And if I one day have to change my parents' diapers because they're getting impotent or senile (it's happened with some of THEIR own parents), then accepting that they are full-part human beings with sexual desires, just like the desire to laugh, or be spoken to, is certainly okay. Much better, in any case, than condemning them to a life sentence of being ignored. Solitary confinement in the middle of a crowd? Oh, the horror!
Have you heard the joke about the spinster who got raped? She threatened to call the police if the guy didn't come back. :-)
Why do you think gigoloes are so rarely reported on? Because they are appreciated. I'm not defending them, but they're not ALL bad.
I worked for a year in a nursing home in Denmark. I wouldn't mind that life at all when I'm old. They have it good, the have company and care, they get three meals and coffee, TV, books, etc etc.
Ah, yes. But they're not allowed to jump on the handsome aids, as I recall you told us once.
It's a good life, but there's still room for improvement. :-)
Sure they are.
Maybe the aide could get a problem though.
"I'll bet there are still towns were dancing is considered immoral."
There are towns where even married couples are prohibited from having sex standing up, because it may lead to dancing.
Actually, this document on masturbation is very real. And furthermore, in the Mormon church, dancing closer than being able to put a Book of Mormon between the dancers is also forbidden.
Then again, a church founded by a man wanted for fraud in several states, who chose as his Holy Messenger an angel named "Moroni"... gotta have some weird ideas!
Well as s/o who grew up Mormon this hit home for me. I also just graduated from their main University in Utah. I've seen the list before on the net, but many of the clergy I've confessed my problem compulsive masturbation too give me advice basically along the same lines. So although the advice isn't distributed from the church authorities (as far as I know)it does basically represent the advice they would give.
Now obviously I've found your blog through Domai, a site I should definitely not be visiting as a good Mormon boy. But I enjoy your site, I enjoy beautiful women, and alas I enjoy masturbation.
I've never had sexual intercourse, but Bill Clinton aside, oral sex is sex and the Mormon church is coming down hard on that among its members. My most intimate experience has been enjoying each other topless. Followed by confessions to a Bishop.
K, going back to my main point. I masturbate and view naked girls against my church's judgement. I do feel guilty and have compulsively tried to stop. I agree with the philosophy of domai, but I know pornography and masturbation has ruined many marriages. The wife feels less of a woman to her man as she sees him draw in on himself to a fantasy world. I want to have a healthy balance with sex, love, and life, but I'm still confused and still sorting things out. On the one hand I don't see any harm done to others in what I'm doing, but I have seen how behaviour like mine can lead to destroying families...
BTW, I recall some experience I've had in a nursing home here in Lebanon. I was affected to a church-sponsored hospital, and the nearby home was also our responsibility as interns sometimes, when we where on night duty. For medical problems.
And problems there were, because it was a charity institution, welcoming those who had nowhere else to go. Usually poor, lonely, terminally ill old people. It was all extra unpaid work, of course. (Not that we were paid a lot in the first place, with 75 cents an hour.) But I only have one regret about the hours spent there : we were so overworked and tired already, it wasn't always easy to show as much compassion as I would've wished. It doesn't matter that many of these people were no more capable of noticing.
You never know when a kind gesture you make won't turn out to be the last nice thing to happen in somebody's life. Trust me, THAT is something you never regret.
Not that I would've risked giving Eolake's 102 year-old virgin satisfaction had I been in his place. I think. ;-)
"I know pornography and masturbation has ruined many marriages."
I think it's more accurate to say "emotions about..." have ruined marriages. Just money don't ruin marriages, emotions about them do.
Good Morman Boy,
Can you recommend an effective palm depilator? (My mom is gripping my ear as I tap this query.)
"There are towns where even married couples are prohibited from having sex standing up, because it may lead to dancing."
David, now I'm gonna have to sue you. This was so funny, I cracked a rib.
"oral sex is sex and the Mormon church is coming down hard on that among its members."
"Coming down hard on that"? Now, I bet this was entirely unintentional. But it's very funny too!
:-D
The Mormon church, like all the others, is a System. These are many. God can only be one, Truth is one. Everything that is not universal, you should keep questioning in your mind. The differences are Man's doing, but we know he'll always claim otherwise.
I can see that the "Anonymous" option has its uses, when someone like a Mormon wants to testify without worrying about getting furthermore into... "hot water". Discretion protects freedom of speech. I live in Lebanon, I've paid to know...
So, Anon, congrats on your courage, and welcome in the group. I'm guessing you're not married yet. As a doctor, allow me to state this to you : masturbation is perfectly normal, and healthy, as long as it doesn't go completely out of control. The criteria for this being, mainly:
1-If it keeps you so busy, you don't have any time left to do other things. (Workaholic executives, this does NOT apply to you. YOUR problem is work, not wank.)
2-If you definitely prefer it to normal sex (meaning, with a partner). Know that many married men still do it occasionally, and psychologically-wise it's okay. For instance, if the wife is indisposed or absent. Adultery, now that would be wrong. Sex with a person OUTSIDE the couple.
Masturbation is great for relieving a sexual tension which in males builds up naturally and biologically ("wet dreams" are proof enough), it helps prevent prostate cancer, and also many psychological problems like anxiety, stress, depression... And it has been proven to be good for life expectancy, and against cardio-vascular accidents. Unless your heart is ALREADY so fragile that any emotion would kill you!
Obviously, the same applies to women. Pleasuring oneself isn't even mentioned in the Bible (or the Gospel) in itself, I challenge anybody to prove me wrong with an undisputable reference. (I've previously dismantled Onan's tale.) So, God apparently never defined it as a sin. Only some priests did. Huge difference.
I invite you to ponder this : how precious is this "spilled seed", considering the billion-to-one waste that Nature designed to occur? Can you reasonably hope to raise more than one child born every nine months, tops? And there isn't even reason to believe that this is a DUTY. "Grow and multiply", (which comes from a very ancient and culture-influenced part of the Bible) could as well be, not a command, but a formula of blessing, from a time where having lots of children was of great practical importance. Among other reasons, because of the high mortality rate at all ages.
Incidentally, the rate of fecundation success in humans is of just 25%. Three out of four embryoes in the uterus NATURALLY don't complete their development into a child, and undergo spontaneous abortion, usually at early stages of pregnancy (but not always). Nature, or God, wastes a lot of "opportunities" for life, much more than we humans. Which also proves that a one-cell embryo is quite far from being a guaranteed human entity if left to its normal fate. The Book says nothing about this. The priests decree one thing. Facts, that everyone educated can verify, state otherwise. Just like Galileo was right when he stated that the Earth was round and spinning.
If we DID breed as much as it is virtually possible, we would starve from over-population very soon. Or be forced to use the age-old formula of waging huge bloody wars to decrease the numbers (sounds familiar?). We HAVE filled the Earth, my friend. Man is everywhere, and so numerous that he's threatening his own survival if he doesn't wise up a little. If you don't breed like a rabbit, I'm sure you won't go to Hell for it. And, I doubt that the Creator would have deliberately placed in us a very powerful and vital life instinct, just to immediately order us to fiercely choke it. It's a bit like eating : we need to, there's nothing wrong with enjoying it, we're simply supposed to use our sense as intelligent humans to avoid excess and errors. Gluttony is bad, gastronomy is not. Are we commanded to fast for half our life, eating only bread and water every other day "because it is feasible"? Nope. Sexuality is an intrinsic part of our fundamental nature. It needs to be civilized, not repressed.
Originally, humans mated at puberty. Until quite recently, it still determined the age of marriage. (Mary, mother of Jesus, was married at 12. My grandmother, at the "late age" of 16 in rural Lebanon.) The world has changed, because of our society. Did God order all those changes? No. They're our own doing, as free willing beings, for better and for worse. Marriage postponed many years after puberty creates sexual frustration. Nowadays, we need to complete our studies, to get a job, a house, to plan for a future beyond keeping the fire lit and the wolves at bay. We face unemployment, housing crisis, worldwide insecurity. WE did this. It has consequences. Well, until I find a Commandment that says "Thou shalt keep thy genitals in irons unless thou have a spouse", I can't see anything wrong with self-gratification done away from public view. God's not a gloomy sadist. He wants us to be sensibly happy. If we men don't masturbate when we're awake, our bodies take care of it during our sleep, our repressed subconscious creates very powerful scenarioes with a known organic outcome, that's a fact. It's part of being alive. Should we stop breathing if we come by a "sinfully" pleasant scent where God allowed roses to grow? Should we cover our ears before music or the joy of a child's laughter? Wear only rough fabrics and walk barefoot on rocks?
Many clerics of every religion hold on (out of conservatism?) to this antiquated notion that every member of the community should have as many children as possible, hence their intense hatred toward things like contraception, sodomy and homosexuality, which simply aren't "fruitful". Anti-abortionism may very well proceed from the same, because within the legal period to perform it, the embryo/foetus hasn't yet developed anything remotely resembling a conscious brain, and its natural future is still far from guaranteed. There's no "immortal soul" in a transplanted kidney either, it lies within our human mind, located in the connected neurons of the brain. [The only organ we'll never be able to replace and still consider we remain the same individual.]
For the record, I feel that the only valid reason for abortion should be medical : if the continued pregnancy is a vital risk for the mother, and therefore the foetus NATURALLY doesn't stand a chance anyway. In case of unplanned or inconvenient pregnancy, Society should be well enough organized to care for them at birth and quickly find them loving families... and there should be no excuse for getting casual with the contraception available today!
There are special cases, of course.
-Very young, still irresponsible girls. It won't kill them, but the health repercussions are often severe. Not to mention that in many parts of the world, they're in mortal danger for SOCIAL reasons. Getting pregnant can soon get you dead.
-Rape or incest followed by a pregnancy. It's a huge, and very unfair, ordeal to force upon a woman already deprived once of her choice over her body and self. Nine months of carrying the growing reminder of that horrible moment, yikes! It would make perfect sense that only women, who can truly live and experience such situations in their reality and in their flesh, should have a saying in whether contraception and abortion must be permitted. First of all, it's their life. A guy can just beat it after five minutes and forget everything.
Also, if you've studied what it's like to be an unloved, unwanted child, you'll know it is an atrocious, and utterly unfair fate to sentence a baby to. I've heard say that suffering in nowhere as bad as death. But when a lifetime of suffering destroys a soul from its very beginning, and creates a person full of hatred, or sometimes mad, then I declare that imposing such a fate on an innocent newborn is one of the greatest sins imaginable. I'm living right now with growing babies. I see every day how precious and vital love is for them. Do you know what happens, when newborns are completely deprived of love and human contact?It's been documented. They just die. Silently. And at this stage, they have a brain, they feel, and they suffer. Babies MUST be wanted, and loved. Never imposed by force or law.
I myself found out that, like billions of others throughout history, I was an unplanned child. Unplanned, but accepted when I came, and loved. Not asked for, but then fully wanted. Therefore, I don't have a single issue with my parents about that. Had I been adopted that there wouldn't be any issues either. (Having said that, if I were adopted I'd still seek my origins, simply because they would be part of me.)
The same thing I said about masturbation applies to porn. Permitting it suppresses one third of sexual crimes (official numbers), the proportion that is fueled by simple frustration. Many couples use it for stimulation and without negative consequences. Only excess is harmful (again, in quantity OR in quality). I speak from a medical point of view, but the religious positions on such matter are frequently arbitrary. Look at the veil debate in islam : to some it's a duty, up to the all-covering Burqa, to others it's an obsolete tradition combined with a mis-interpretation of the Texts.
I'll dare say this : clerics will always manage to disagree. (Where is ANY contraception mentioned in the Christian texts, hunh? Or nude drawing? Or smoking? Or video games? Or transfusion and organ transplants? Or driving? Telephones? TV? Antibiotics? Vaccines? Eyeglasses? Communications satellites?) Clerics may judge you socially, but only God will judge your soul. Trust your heart, its innate sense of good was created by God too.
Besides, many women are Domai fans, and not for masturbation either. Read the newsletter testimonials. I can confirm, because like 99% of single males in not-too-repressive environments, I do masturbate. On occasion. (Let's find a priest who'll dare cast the first stone!) Just like I'd have sex with my dear wife if I had a wife, it's as simple as that. It greatly varies with my mood, sometimes not for many days, sometimes more than once in a day. Just like married couples, except that I'm only married to myself for the time being. (I hope this changes on day.)
And trust me, for that purpose I do NOT use Domai images. These are for beauty. Look -I mean really look- at enough of them, and tell me whether they do not inspire respect. I'm dead serious when I say this : I always look them in the eyes first. They're not fuck-dolls, they are whole women.
Also, I've posted extensive examples in previous posts, including examples of societies where nudity is normal but none are constantly obsessed with sex. Browse the archives, that's what they're here for.
Domai aims at shattering the myth that nudity equals sex, and that both of them equal evil. Is speech good or evil? Words are what you make of them. Same with the human body, and with the sexual drive. Anger is sometimes useful, even life-saving. Sweets are harmless if you're not a glutton. God did NOT create your genitals as a receptacle for all that is evil. We are not holy soul fighting evil flesh, both are one, and need to find their symbiotic harmony.
Good luck finding your path and identity. ("Finding your identity", I like saying that to an anonymous!!!)
"pornography and masturbation has ruined many marriages."
Allow me to expand on Eolake's point : if you have a lawfully-wedded wife, and instead of seeking pleasure with her you prefer to turn to porn or masturbation, then 1°) you don't love her, and 2°) you're deeply selfish. Therefore, these things won't be the CAUSE of the problem, but its SYMPTOMS. Just like the Littleton College shooters didn't BECOME violent by playing DOOM a lot, they played DOOM a lot because they were violent and liked to virtually blow off the steam, like many serial killers start off by torturing animals. When this became insufficient, they went for the real thing. They weren't so naive that a simulation blinded their discerning ability, they were so insecure that they needed violence to comfort their weak personnality by destroying others.
I've seen all kinds of movies, read all sorts of books, and played all kinds of video games, including the most childish and the most violent. You name it, I've tried it : Mortal Kombat, Manhunt, The Godfather, Resident Evil, The Suffering, God of War, Jaws, the grotesquely blood-splattering Nano Breaker, even the infamous Thrill Kill. And have I ever preyed on a human being for real? No. Because in spite of feeling for most of my childhood that I was easily influenced (and I was), I have a normally-built adult personnality, and I can tell fiction from reality. Pac-man hasn't turned me into a pill-gobbling junkie. Crash Bandicoot into an apple-bulimic bundle of nerves. Mario into a hallucinogen mushroom-eater. Breakout into a house-wrecking vandal. I don't even swat spiders, I don't like to do that. Real violence, now, that bothers me, yes. I'm much more concerned about one innocent being executed in some remote third-world dictatorship than by a billion pixel dummies being slowly skinned alive or impaled on my screen by the Count Vlad Dracul that I'm playing. If I'm not in the mood, hardcore porn leaves me cold. And bored. With some habit, I've become master of my reactions. It's very easy. Do you know what really turns me on sexually? A confident and balanced woman who loves and desires me. Porno is too easy to resist when it displays loads of slutty, grotesquely grimacing grunting women imitating the All Blacks' Haka dance. They're just as fake as the killing in Doom. They fuck on screen, yes. But they don't make love. They don't have what I want.
Sex? Look at the animal world. You'll see there are spontaneously gay wolves, lesbian cows, masturbating bears, sex-crazed chimps and dolphins. Violence? Wild animals shun it whenever useless: they hunt to feed, kill to preserve their life or their territory (which their life depends on), or attack when they are afraid. If a fight can be done without, even the fearsome kodiak grizzly bear will pass. Do you really need people who burned "witches" and launched religion wars for centuries while indulging into pedophilia or covering it, to discern right from wrong for you? See the world, learn by yourself, read everything, multiply the sources to get around the many biases, question and reflect upon everything interesting, and then use your educated and better judgement. A truly cultivated and discerning intelligent person is his own light. The Nazis pretended to be cultivated and civilized, but they became monsters by refusing to see and reflect upon certain things, like the humanity of their victims. Beware the deceiving looks.
Humankind has been around for 50 to 100 thousand years. Judeo-christian law, if we go back to Moses, is 5000 years old. (And human rights? Less than a century!) Every day, new "prophets" arise and make speeches. The truth is, if God wanted Man to know Good, He'd have had it built-in with the first prototype. Which, I believe, is the case. You can find great compassion in some pagans, and total evil in some very pious people (they're called fanatics, or just hypocrits).
I've known priests of both extreme categories. Robes don't always mean right. Not all collars are scholars. And being convinced doesn't always make one right, however eventually sincere the intentions. Men moulded in a System are biased. To know the Truth, you need to take some distance, to watch the whole picture.
well, anonymous, I was moved by your honesty. I see your innocence. I also love beautiful pictures of women and I am a woman. Some would call this pleasure a sin. I thank the Father for every lovely form the eyes see and every delicious bite of food I eat.
I keep coming back to the old movie "Chariots of Fire" where the ecclesiastic is also a competitive runner. His "holy" sister says he is sinning by putting running before God. He answers her, "But when I run I give God pleasure."
I feel like we're all progressively awakening from God as stern parent, to God as pure love. We're the one's holding the stick.
excuse the pun.
Correction:
he said, "When I run, I feel God's pleasure."
there's a difference.
"When I run, I feel God's pleasure."
The sheetah could say the same. If sheetahs had a religion.
I only see prefect sense in God finding pleasure when His creations do their best as they were designed. The pleasure of a job well done, being its own reward, definitely feels like a virtue proceeding from God.
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