Here's a loaded question: Do you believe that erotica is harmful to children?
I am struck by the fact that even liberal people tend to assume as a given that while erotica should be free, we should take care to keep it away from children. Even I feel that way sometimes. But I can't give a good reason for it.
In fact it is clear that the areas and countries which have a very laid-back attitude towards erotica (and nudity) are producing much fewer rapists than areas with very strict taboos.
Also, all kinds of therapists all over the world and in any culture agree on one thing: it is the thing which we hide (or hide from) which will harm us!
So the whole thing is a little bit puzzling.
4 comments:
Argh, tricky!
Monkey see, monkey do, right?
I'm really not sure. I guess I'd probably go with the - you can know it's happening but keep the rest away ... because I don't know what else to do!
I've also never had children.
We have all been children ourselves, so everybody should be able to give his own answer.
I for my part must say, I've always been erotically triggered, even since my ealiest years (when I was 3 or so), I've enjoyed seeing the shape and contours of legs (of both boys and girls of my age or older), or beautiful collarbones, arms, faces, hair etc. And I vividly remember a swimming class when we were taught how to rescue drowning people. I still recall the sense the soft skin of the boy I was to tow along, with my hands across his chest.
But then came those conflicts with religious teaching (to be ashamed of looking at naked people etc), yet I still feel it is a human desire for sensing and admiring the beauty of the body, same as we say "oh what a beautiful horse, dog, cat, etc."
I'm a little surprised by the wording of your question given the "goals" and "philosophy" you express on your "Essentials" page! Let me rephrase it a few different ways.
First, is erotica harmful to children? In the abstract, no. It's only when the child encounters it, or is affected by others who encounter it, that a potential for harm exists.
Second, should children be exposed to nudity?
Answer: Yes, in the socially and culturally appropriate context. And children should learn what those contexts are and be helped to develop the discipline to respect them--the earlier the better! (That includes being exposed to nudity and being nude themselves when and where appropriate.)
Third, should children be exposed to graphical artistic depiction of the human body - nude art?
Answer: Yes. The trap here is that "art" depicts the full range of human emotions and actions, from the most "natural" and beautiful (e.g., an infant at its mother's breast) to the most repugnant (e.g., torture and murder). A child must be helped to prepare, to the greatest extent possible, to confront the realities of the world; and part of that preparation involves protection from exposure to "art" that is inappropriate to the child's level of preparation.
Fourth, should children be exposed to erotica?
Answer: As with "art" (above), not until the child is ready to deal with it. By definition, erotica is designed to arouse the viewer in the context of the intimate sexual relationship between persons. (I personally believe that such a relationship is only appropriate in the context of a commitment such as marriage, however you define that legally and religiously). Erotica should not be made available to a child who is too young to experience those feelings, or to a young (or older) adult who is two immature to act responsibly or appreciate erotica for the natural and beautiful relationship it addresses. Inappropriate exposure to erotica minimally provides an opportunity for the development of an inappropriate understanding of the sexual relationship, and may be catalytic in the development of what become deeply held misunderstandings that are expressed in abusive behavior.
You'll notice I've spoken mostly of "exposing" the child to nudity/art/erotica, and only at the end raise the issue of making nudity/art/erotica "available" to children or the public at large. The former acknowledges the parent's responsibility to teach the child, and in my opinion that education should include becoming comfortable with nudity, appreciating are and being aroused by erotica. The latter acknowledges society's responsibility to help the parent discharge his/her responsibility.
If you take this discussion out of the parent/child context, then you have another set of issues!
Yeah! I do get annoyed when kids older than I tell me to leave a place when they talk about something erotic or block me from watchin' sensual videos of women all because I am 17!
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