Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Look at you

"Sometimes you have to look at yourself, and then look away." 
-- Terry Pratchett, Snuff

I am learning this about myself.
I've been emailed about if I was all right, since this blog has been even more quiet in the past month than it was. And yes, I have not been well, and I had a heart operation two weeks ago. (Two stents put in to expand the arteries. They went in through the arm, and the operation itself was surprising easy and pain-free.)

I thank you.

But the weakness accompanying this and aggravating circumstances, makes me feel... Let us call it "not at my best" and leave it at that. I am watching inside myself all the unpleasant aspects of the human ego, like fear and unmotivated hate, and I have no doubt that all this, though surely universal, is also a main reason I ended up in this current unpleasant place, and since I always felt myself irrationally to be Superman, this makes the surprise even more unpleasant.
I can only hope to seriously learn from it and turn it.

Well, this was fun! Let's do it again soon, only you pay the coffee and I'll buy the cake.


DeltaCubed said...

Jeg håber du kommer dig hurtigt og snarligt.

Ashley said...

I hope you feel better soon. Strong in the right directions.

Self-examination is perhaps the most human thing that humans have.

Russ said...

My best wishes on your recovery. Don't let the bastards get you down... get those watercolors out (literally or figuratively) and find ways to keep creating your art!

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Thanks guys. I appreciate it.

DeltaCubed, are you sorta Danish, or is this digital magic?

Thanks Ashley. You may well be right.

Russ, spasiba. Art making, even photography, is one of the most difficult things for me these days. (You may have noticed a sad lack of new pics for a long while). I wish I knew how to solve it, but... Well, we'll see how it goes.

TC [Girl] said...

Hi, Eo... I pray for a quick recovery and renewed strength for you, mentally, physically, and artistically... Have patience with the process; perhaps a few more audiobooks and movies, to pass the time... Do you feel like journaling, or writing a book? No better time than now... Looking forward to the time that you will have been out enjoying Spring and capturing some new images...

Anonymous said...

Hi Eolake, I'm from South Africa and I've been following your blog for maybe 18 years? I wish you all the best and hope you recover soon! Tim.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Thank you Tim.
(This blog goes back to 2005. My site Domai went back to 1997 in its earliest incarnation.)

Thank you TC.
Patience, yes.
Trust me, I never need encouragement to enjoy movies and audiobooks!
Journaling for some reason was never my cup of tea. Unless you consider this blog, which is more directed at sharing thoughts and such than recording them.
I'd like to write a book (I wrote two years ago, but they were not great), but it takes concentration.

Laurie said...

friend, you're still my Superman.....

I wish for you peace, and fine chocolate, in the Recovery.

linking arms,


Tommy said...

EO, I've been away and didn't know. Sending Love and Prayers from the good ole U.S. of A.

And if you fine the solution to "like fear and unmotivated hate", let us know.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

LOL, if I find the solution to those, I'll write a book which beats Daring Greatly.

And; hardly anybody knew. Why worry everybody who couldn't do anything, before the situation was a bit stabilised?

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Thanks, Laurie.

Fortunately I have fine chocolate, some of the best, lying around.

I even tried it, like some praise, with peanut butter. But I don't think I'll ever be a big fan of that. ... :-)

Joe Dick said...

Do you have some krytonite lying around?

Seriously though, hope you're feeling better soon.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Of course, blue Kryptonite!

Thanks dude.

Bru said...

"... since I always felt myself irrationally to be Superman, this makes the surprise even more unpleasant."

We are not our bodies. We are spirit, inhabiting our bodies.

That's easy to say, easy to "believe," but not always easy in practice. I can see by the posts after this one, over the past few days, you are getting better, getting over the physical and spiritual shock. Keep up the good work!

I hope you find your artistic "voice" soon. It may be that what you want to say has changed. Try a little aimless, directionless, goalless goofing around with your artistic tools - I think that would give you permission to change.

Tim said...

Hi Eolake, you are right, I am remembering your weekly Domai newsletter. I first went online in 1997 started following it soon thereafter, which later turned into following your blog. I am sure you have many silent followers like myself. Invisible friends. I trust you will recover your strength soon, and re-discover your Muse! Tim.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Tim, if you really found Domai in 97-98 and is still here now, that's impressive, that makes you a hardcore veteran Domai fan.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Bru, thank you kindly.