Time's cover shows a mother breastfeeding her toddler.
Jamie Lynne Grumet, photographed by Martin Schoeller with her 3-year-old son, is a mother from Los Angeles who subscribes to attachment parenting...
That kid is only three?? He is two thirds her size! It seems that prolonged breastfeeding may turn us all into giants in a few generations!
Update:
Here's tOP's comment on it.
27 comments:
That kid is only three?? He is two thirds her size!
I know! He's big enough to walk over and get a cup of milk from the fridge, even! (And that 7-yr-old that is written of, in the article; NUTS!!)
Personally, I think it is more about what the MOTHER needs, rather than the kid's needs! Our job, as mothers, is to, DAILY, detach just a little bit more from our kids, physically, and encourage independence, as well as instill confidence in their own abilities and accomplishments...and learn about healthy boundaries between ourselves and others; how does sleeping between your mother and father do any of this?! :-/
Yeah, we don't want too many Principal Skinner's.
@ TC
What an arrogant, self-opinionated attitude you have. 'Your' way may suit you, just as 'Attachment Parenting' may suit others perfectly well.
IF a family choose to take this avenue, it's a massive commitment, and very much a lifestyle choice that has little do do with 'what a mother needs', and everything to do with what THEY consider to be most approriate for THEIR child. although typically it attracts an ignorant 'knee-jerk' reaction such as yours, simply because you know of no way other than the one you apparently blindly subscribed to.
Extended breast-feeding is widely practiced throughout the world.moreso in some countries than others, granted - DESPITE the efforts of Nestle et al to 'wean' parents away from breast milk onto their own commercial products. Cows milk (whether powdered or not) is for baby cows, NOT baby humans!
Predjudice such as this is nothing different to the negative reactions people get who feel compelled to blunder after whatever God they choose (and urge all others to do the same), or choose a lifestyle of celibacy or vegetarianism, or take a partner of the same sex.
It's often been said that being a parent does not come with an instruction manual, but people CAN get guidance and information from a vast variety of sources.
The biggest problem with (you) taking the moral high ground is that it is way to easy for others to knock you off your own personal pedastal, assuming of course that you don't fall first!
Get a life, and get on with it - and stop having snidey digs at others from behind the anonimity of a keyboard.
Room for thought - are YOUR kids really that perfect, given the way that YOU chose to raise them, apparently choosing to distance them from you at every given opportunity.
Cutting a little slack here, that cover photo is VERY deceptive (surprise, surprise!)
We've got a very typical, energetic little boy, not much more than 3 years old, and looking at that picture (and being able to make an actual comparison), I'd say the child on the cover is no taller than he is!
Yeah, we don't want too many Principal Skinner's.
Skinner at least wasn't a serial killer - that's this kid's future.
My wife breast fed our youngest son to about 2-2 1/2 years. Often in the night and both fell peacefully asleep in our bed.
No clue if this altered him in later years, but one thing I do know is there is a special bond between them that is not evident with our oldest who had to be bottle feed.
This case does seem to be a bit extreme an TC you are right on in my way of thinking.
@ Eolake
I left quite a lengthy response on here yesterday, which has since vanished.
is this a problem with the Blogger in general, or are you simply removing posts that you, or other readers, may disagree with?
Suze,
No, I don't delete comments as a rule. I looked into it, and it seems your comments (both) had been blocked by Blogger's spam filter, I don't know why. I have restored them.
You're perfectly welcome to your opinion. If forced to comment, I might just say that your point might have come across just as well with a gentler tone. :-)
Please?
I think the choice of breastfeeding or not is quite personal...
What I wonder about is the mother's choice to pose on a Time cover with her son like this. This may affect the son's whole life... Is it a nice gift for him?
Hey Eolake, did you notice he is standing on a chair? :)
Hey Suze, relax!
I think that your thoughts are interesting, but if you use them to personally attack another person who / I think / also has the right to have her own / also interesting / thoughts, then it kind of makes your opinion much less interesting. Try next time without kicking other people too personally, it will be appreciated! :)
This is a peaceful and friendly site... :)
Yes, I did see the chair.
What an arrogant, self-opinionated attitude you have. 'Your' way may suit you, just as 'Attachment Parenting' may suit others perfectly well.
"Attachment Parenting" will not suit the child well in the long run most likely. It's for the parents, who feel the need to be special and hope that fucked up shit like this might grant to their children what they were denied. It won't. It'll just fuck them up.
typically it attracts an ignorant 'knee-jerk' reaction such as yours, simply because you know of no way other than the one you apparently blindly subscribed to.
Ah, yes, the age-old "you'd believe as I do if you were smart enough" argument. No one has cited any research for either side but if you're going to say the old tried and true method is either wrong or insufficient, you have to give a pretty compelling reason for taking up a new way. How do you know if won't mess up a kid? I know I wouldn't be comfortable with the knowledge today that, at the age of three or older I was still sucking on my mom's tit.
Extended breast-feeding is widely practiced throughout the world.moreso in some countries than others, granted -
Where?
DESPITE the efforts of Nestle et al to 'wean' parents away from breast milk onto their own commercial products. Cows milk (whether powdered or not) is for baby cows, NOT baby humans!
This is an argument for ceasing to drink milk beyond the age it's needed. No one is suggesting giving an infant of the appropriate age for breastfeeding this Nestle stuff (I wasn't aware they produced formula - I know them pretty much just for their Nesquick product) instead of breast milk.
Predjudice such as this is nothing different to the negative reactions people get who feel compelled to blunder after whatever God they choose (and urge all others to do the same), or choose a lifestyle of celibacy or vegetarianism, or take a partner of the same sex.
It's not even remotely similar. See if you think why.
It's often been said that being a parent does not come with an instruction manual, but people CAN get guidance and information from a vast variety of sources.
Sure. But if it's hippie bullshit without a basis in evidence it's not going to be good advice.
The biggest problem with (you) taking the moral high ground is that it is way to easy for others to knock you off your own personal pedastal, assuming of course that you don't fall first!
I...guess...
Get a life, and get on with it
Hahahahahaha. Next you'll be mentioning Hitler.
and stop having snidey digs at others from behind the anonimity of a keyboard.
Isn't that what you're doing, "Suze"?
Room for thought - are YOUR kids really that perfect, given the way that YOU chose to raise them, apparently choosing to distance them from you at every given opportunity.
Logic isn't your strong suit. Is it bad to cease breastfeeding beyond the age where it's necessary? No. If you have evidence to the contrary, present it.
'Suze' said...
@ TC
What an arrogant, self-opinionated attitude you have.
Interested to hear what you think...of your own! ;-)
'Your' way may suit you, just as 'Attachment Parenting' may suit others perfectly well.
Yes and that's ALL fine and dandy; I just don't think that the entire world needs to stop and bow in adoration every time a mother decides to hang her boob out to a child that is larger than can be cradled in a mother's arms!
IF a family choose to take this avenue, it's a massive commitment, and very much a lifestyle choice that has little do do with 'what a mother needs', and everything to do with what THEY consider to be most appropriate for THEIR child.
OK; if you say so.
although typically it attracts an ignorant 'knee-jerk' reaction such as yours, simply because you know of no way other than the one you apparently blindly subscribed to.
Right. Whatever you say.
Extended breast-feeding is widely practiced throughout the world.
Yeah. I'd like the statistics on that one, as well. :-) I thought many of the kids were too busy being forced to work in factories! Do the moms come in to serve "liquid refreshments"...at lunchtime?! :-/
moreso in some countries than others, granted - DESPITE the efforts of Nestle et al to 'wean' parents away from breast milk onto their own commercial products. Cows milk (whether powdered or not) is for baby cows, NOT baby humans!
Exactly! Did you know that kittens aren't even supposed to drink cow’s milk?! Most people don't know that! Just saying!
Predjudice such as this is nothing different to the negative reactions people get who feel compelled to blunder after whatever God they choose (and urge all others to do the same), or choose a lifestyle of celibacy or vegetarianism, or take a partner of the same sex.
Sure. Whatever you say.
It's often been said that being a parent does not come with an instruction manual, but people CAN get guidance and information from a vast variety of sources.
True dat!
The biggest problem with (you) taking the moral high ground is that it is way to easy for others to knock you off your own personal pedastal, assuming of course that you don't fall first!
Such judgmental comments coming from someone who wants to appear so "open-minded" and "world embracing!" Thanks! I'll see you, next FALL, too (how you spell the version that you were looking for, above, BTW)! ;-)
Get a life, and get on with it - and stop having snidey digs at others from behind the anonimity of a keyboard.
I actually have quite a busy life, already; thanks! You might look at your 'Suze' thing and ponder your own advice, as well!
Room for thought - are YOUR kids really that perfect, given the way that YOU chose to raise them, apparently choosing to distance them from you at every given opportunity.
I don't think anyone's children are "perfect." I do know that I "prepared" to have children, reading GOBS of books, before they came along. And...I was so "anal" (let's just include the other end, just for grins, shall we?! :-) about doing everything so "perfectly," (wanting to make sure that they got everything they would need to thrive) when I had my kids, that I even timed the nursing sessions, to make sure that they got the minimum amount of milk as well as trying to prevent being lop-sided or worrying about any of the other effects of nursing, (engorgement and whatever else. Yes...we're talking about the very subject that is posted, here. There is actually a little science to some of it for those new to it! :-) I gave both "girls" equal time! :-D
Do you understand what the actual function of nursing is, 'Suze?' (Because I really don't think that you are a female, BTW; and...I’m pretty sure that I know who you are!) It's to aid in several "functions:"
1) provide nourishment for a child, until said child has grown teeth...for mastication. Most children's teeth begin appearing in just 6 months, after being born, allowing them to start chewing soft things before they are even a year old.
2) assist in the involution of the uterus;
3) the transfer of vital antibodies, from mother to child, until a child has a strong enough immunity for themselves;
4) and, yes...there is the bonding time. Anyone who thinks that a parent doesn't bond with her child, while nursing for a half hour, every 2 hours, day and night, like most new mothers who choose to nurse, as I, personally did, must have a few screws loose! It’s a very special time and, eventually, that time needs to end. For instance, obviously, none of us are still hitting our mothers up for a drink of milk, anymore! So…yeah…hopefully, these mothers are thinking of, um, WEANING their children, after the first couple of years of life! Beyond that, is when I think it’s getting a little odd and, certainly, inappropriate to be “sharing” with the world! Awkward and icky! :-/
As with everything that I mention, there are several reasons, that I am not a huge fan of the "family bed" thing:
1) how does that teach the child "separate entities" or even coupledom and what that looks like, in the confines of being the child's parents or even what "marriage" looks like? Not to mention the “wear” on a couple who, completely, denies their own needs for personal time for physical, emotional, and sexual time together. And…it is not healthy to have your child in your bed with you, when copulation occurs, ya know! In fact, that is traumatic for a child to be a part of and NOT the beautiful thing that some might think it is!
2) the need for a child to self-nurture and be able to learn to "settle" oneself, in order to go to sleep. This is a HUGE problem with this sort of sleeping arrangement. The child is unable to go to sleep in other environments, when this is the only way they know. :-(
3) When everything "rotates" around "just" the child[dren], going into the world, as a young adult, becomes a little bit of a shock, when [s]he discovers that everything ain't served on a silver platter, anymore! :-/
4) Healthy boundaries: OK. I'm going to go where many won't want to look but...it has to be said, since you insist on challenging it:
How does the "family bed" teach a child what healthy boundaries are, IF sexual abuse is happening in this bed?! I know; I know...MANY DON'T but...I can tell you, from personal knowledge, that many, MANY people have been sexually abused by a relative or, perhaps, even SEVERAL!
How does a child learn to understand that it is inappropriate for others to touch them in certain places on their body, IF their parent had done such a thing? How about sleeping with an older brother, Uncle, or Grandfather? And…this is not exclusive to either gender of child! I have several friends who have experienced these horrific things at the hands of someone who was supposed to be protecting them!
And, sadly, when I, first, came to California, innocent at a young age, I was looking after a couple of little kids. When I got to the home, in the morning, the mother had already left, for the day, and the father was still in bed with the child, when I, first, arrived. They were sleeping on a mattress on the floor and...the dad would get up and up would come the child...the underwear off, laying on the mattress. I wasn't sure what to make of it, at first. I never had proof but...when does any "closeness" to a child require their underwear coming off, whilst still in bed w/their father?! I wish I had been brave enough to try to ask the children if their father had touched them, inappropriately, because it haunts me to this day, wondering if I had missed something, there, in my innocence! :-(
So, anyway...in honor of yesterday's Mother's Day, I salute mothers everywhere doing the BEST job that they can for their children. I just think that some go a little beyond the call of duty, when they have to flaunt, in public, what they have decided to do…especially after the child is a couple of years old. Peace out.
Steve said...
My wife breast fed our youngest son to about 2-2 1/2 years. Often in the night and both fell peacefully asleep in our bed.
Yes...I remember those times, well. I was really grateful to have help with the "transporting" and diapering of the babes, in the middle of the night, 'cuz it was pretty difficult to get up, after having pulled the long days! And, like you say, there were times when it just seemed nicer to just leave the little squirt to stay snuggled in! It sure isn't as restful of a sleep, though; you worry about rolling on top of them, when they are really little, as well! That happens, as well, and babies suffocate. :-( Yet another reason I chose not to do that too often.
No clue if this altered him in later years, but one thing I do know is there is a special bond between them that is not evident with our oldest who had to be bottle feed.
Not sure, Steve. Some say that it has to do w/your birth order. And...if it had to do with even length of time, I would have to say that it doesn't follow w/my kids because my 2nd child was nursed for less time than my 1st but she is more of a "cuddle bug," than my first child.
This case does seem to be a bit extreme an TC you are right on in my way of thinking.
Well...thanks, Steve. I had just wanted to share a couple of my thoughts on it. I hadn't intended on offending anyone; that is never my intend. :-(
I agree with Anna. Aside from everything else going on, it's cruel to put him on a magazine cover like that. This kid's going to have to go to school at some point, and his classmates are going to learn about it. He's either gonna have to become really tough really quick or he's going to have a hard life ahead of him.
He'll be homeschooled and turn out a complete pansy.
I am wondering if he will be more breast-oriented or less then those little guys who don't have conscious memories about drinking from a breast.
Good question.
Though, lord knows, I don't see how he could possibly become *more*!
ROFLMAO! (Eo :-)
About Prejudice
If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon.
-- George Aiken
Ironically, from a more recent post.
Most likely he'd be interested in cock and not at all in tits and snatch.
As Josie would say: "I guess you've been generously breastfed, Eo."
;-)
Not that I'm exactly a midget myself. ;-))
I'm fully with you there, TC, but I've already said it Time(!) and time again on this blog (maybe before your day?): real love is not about clinging, but about teaching freedom and independance, about letting go. Like bird parents do: first a lot of care, and in the end teach them to take flight.
A chinese proberb says, "we must learn to detach ourselves of that which we love; if it is truly ours, it will spontaneously return to us; otherwise, it was never really ours".
I'm all for the beauty and poetry of breastfeeding (and anything related to natural motherhood), but too much is too much.
And I know what I'm talking about: my father was the firstborn son of a rural lebanese family. For that reason, he was breastfed for way too long, until his mother had barely any milk at all, and her precious firstborn boy almost died from malnourishment.
Think about it and shiver at the thought : you people almost missed the enjoyment and privilege of my comments! (Sorry, Josie, no turning back the clock. Just deal with it. :-)
(Or does Josie go by the name "Suze" these days? I've been away for a while, would hate to make a social faux-pas...)
BTW, Suze, how obliging of you to publicly confess you stalk TC's personal life and relationship with her children in minute detail. I'm sure the police will me most interested. May I forward your ISP address to officer Dibble?
Dibs on the telescope and binoculars after the arrest!
Jes noted:
"it's cruel to put him on a magazine cover like that. This kid's going to have to go to school at some point"
And probably very soon... that is, *if* he can tear himself apart from Mommy. I can already hear the obvious nickname...
Anon amused:
"Hahahahahaha. Next you'll be mentioning Hitler."
Well, someone sure knows their internet forum tropes! :-)
Mind you, these days it's way trendier to mention Syrian President Assad. Just saying. (^_^)
For the sake of on-topicness, I should mention that bottle-feeding has never been a cause of insecurity or affection deprivation in children; however, breast milk is always more "perfect" biologically (be it only because of the colostrum's antibodies, and we should never be so arrogant as to think we "know better" than Nature. Breastfeeding, whenever applicable, is recommended. And, IMHO, supremely poetic.
(I confess, I've got slight maiesiophilia tendancies. I think full-bloomed feminity is most beautiful. So sue me!)
Trivia: did you know that outside pregnancy, breasts are always at 85% of their full volume, tops? Function is what reveals their full potential.
Think about it and shiver at the thought : you people almost missed the enjoyment and privilege of my comments!
Yes...I shuddered @ the thought, Pascal! ;-) Nice to hear from you! :-D
Yeah, what a comeback. Today my "blog comments" email folder was 30% spam, 10% Diverse, and 60% Pascal!
60 frigging %? WOO-HOO!
(^_^) . _\/
(Does the traditional Myposian "dance of joy"®)
Still, I think the original Pascal movie was better. The sequels kind of let me down a bit. Especially after he broke up with Ripley just because she turned into a model-T2000 cyborg, that was rather out of character.
But the novel was ace!
(Even though it's not yet been published in this Galactic Quadrant, that's telling something.)
If you think it's nice to hear from me, just wait 'til you hear me yodle. Johnny Weissmuller, eat your heart out!
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