"Some people find oil, some don't."
- John Paul Getty, explaining success
Well, that is witty. But as I get older, I'm getting more convinced that it's also an important truth. I think we have far less control over our lives that we like to believe. (Or perhaps far more, from a Higher Self viewpoint.)
As a younger man, I was very goal-oriented. To the degree that when I first heard the phrase "goal-oriented", I thought: "What do you mean? Is there any other way to live?" Seriously.
But as some point out, goals, even when reached, seldom succeed in making us happier. I think there's a reason so many top-list actors and sportspeople have a drug problem. They are not happy despite having reached the top, and now they are stressed as well, trying to remain there.
When I see a huge mansion in a film, I think "wow, that's cool". Sure it is. But is getting one, and paying the enormous taxes and upkeep, really worth all the heart-ache of struggling to get rich enough? I no longer think so. (Of course if you're already a billionaire, knock yourself out.)
And I think a major components of many goals is akin to domination. By becoming the Number One Whatever in the world, you show everybody that you are better than them. It can be a rush, but I think it gets old.
I found the video via Stephen Shapiro's blog. I found Stephen a few years ago when I was working out some of these goal issues for myself, and I wanted to register "goalaholics.com", but I found that he had already registered it! I had written a little funny "thing" about it then.
14 comments:
Awesome observations as always. As my brother-in-law always said, "A goal once achieved, no longer motivates."
And, I truly think that Getty was accurate. Yes, there are things you can do to "create luck." If you read the book "The Luck Factor" by Richard Wiseman, you discover [my interpretation] that more connections rather than more focus are a key. Goals are about focus. Luck comes by "creating many paths" - some of which might just strike oil. Thanks
Thanks yourself.
Indeed, most of the very fortunate turns in my life (like finding a job fifty times better than the one I was going for) have come via friends/connections.
Jed McKenna writes that one of the most important ingredient to happiness is to learn to "let go of the till".
My original article here, almost five years old!
(But if I know my readers, some will refer to it. It's happened twice already this week.)
I once saw a bumper sticker that read something like "Oil wells are great --if you don't have one, get one."
Sorry, I didn't realize these were multiple postings!
One of my "favorite" quotes on the vid:
"I don't want any yes-men around me. Tell me the truth...
...even if it costs you your job."
Regarding friendship...which I feel is an "achievement:" I'd probably change the last line to say something equally "cut throat" in the same vein as the work-related comment: "...even if it costs you my friendship." :-D That's how most people seem to treat someone who wants to speak the truth; isn't it? Which also kind of goes along w/the theme of your 'Thought of the Day' on DOMAI, today, as well. :-)
Indeed. It's not easy.
And Gordon, never worry, I removed the two duplicates. The posting system of Blogger is a bit buggy.
TC: Love that perspective and I totally agree. "Authenticity" in relationships really resonates with me.
P.S. I loved Top Cat...didn't know he was really a girl. Wow.
Steve said...
"TC: Love that perspective"
Thanks for your feedback; I appreciate that. :-)
"and I totally agree."
Cool! :-)
"Authenticity" in relationships really resonates with me."
Yes; it's the best way to be in relationships and what I always hope for in others that I "deal" with. Unfortunately, you meet a few, along the way, who don't seem to think that that is important. :-(
"P.S. I loved Top Cat...didn't know he was really a girl. Wow."
Don't laugh too loudly when I tell you that I didn't know my comic characters growing up (or even as an adult!); I called myself this, as a kid (I'm a Leo; hence the 'Top Cat' expression came to mind using my initials. ROAR! :-D Imagine my SURPRISE when I was informed that it was actually a Dude and I was given this cute profile picture "w/enhancements" to reflect "the female version" that I call myself, here. :-D
When the game and goal is won, now what? As you point out, many founder there.
When the game is won, if the leader (you) doesn't pretty quickly create a new game (goal), your followers, associates and even you morph the the old game into the game of "get you."
We intuitively know that any game is better than no game (L. Ron Hubbard), even if that game is self-destructive.
Winner in your field? Create yet another game either in that field or another. "Ah, Watson, the game's afoot."
Bruce, well said. In fact, in a conversation with a colleague, I described my life as a series of games. Winning or losing is not important. Playing the game gives me fulfillment in the present moment. It is not about the future.
TC: Top Cat looks great as a girl :)
The Anarchistic Colossus, by A. E. van Vogt:
"An alien species, the Igs, plan to destroy Earth's civilization as a game of conquest and destruction which they greatly enjoy." The Igs are all about "playing games"...
Earth in that novel has a technology-enforced worldwide libertarian system which I'm sure some regular readers would find fascinating. Basically, automatic machines rather similar to mind-reading robots, present everywhere, ensure that the well-known shortcomings of human nature are prevented from abusing the general freedom, by immediately thwarting violence and crimes. Even perjury is rendered impossible by immediate and adapted sanction.
There's a topic for a new, and possibly quite rich, blog discussion there.
Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil.
J. Paul Getty
Steve said...
"TC: Top Cat looks great as a girl :)"
Thanks, Steve. I give ALL the credit to Pascal who created "her" for me. I think he felt a little "sorry" for me, when I was being asked to gender-identify myself! Usually, that doesn't tend to be an issue w/people commenting on this blog; I seem to have been the only one to be "singled out" to have to do so, so far as I know; go figure.
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