An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite ravioli wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.
When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen, where if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were hundreds of his favorite raviolis.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his wife of sixty years, to be sure he left this world a happy man?
He threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the ravioli was already in his mouth.
With a trembling hand he reached up to the edge of the table, when suddenly he was smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.
"Va fanculo!" she said, "Questi sono per il funerale!"
(Translation - &^%$-off! ....... these are for the funeral)
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Satan in the church
The church was crowded. The benches overflowing with people.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front inside the church.
Everybody started screaming and running to the exit in a stampede, desperate to escape this horrible creature.
Seconds later, only an old man remained, calmly seated in the church.
He looked like he couldn't care less about Satan, even though the ultimate enemy of God was standing right in front of him.
Satan walked to the old man and asked:
"Don't you know who I am?
- Sure, I know who you are.
- Aren't you afraid of me?
- Nope.
- Don't you realize I could kill you with a mere word?
- I don't doubt it for a second", the old man said in a level tone.
Satan insisted: "Do you know I can inflict you horrible agony for all eternity without any respite?
- Yeah, I know that too", the man said calmly.
"And you're still not afraid of me???
- Nope."
Very disturbed now, at his wit's end, Satan asked: "But WHY aren't you afraid of me?"
The very tranquil man said: "For 40 years now, I've been married to your sister."
I suppose that was shortly before she cooked those ravioli...
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