I am always amazed at the way that newspaper headlines, at least around these parts, become so abbreviated in order to make the letters clobberingly big enough, that almost all meaning disappears.
They become like dadaist poetry.
One I just saw today was "Schoolgirl Facebook Bully Shame".
("Shame", by the way, is a word which the British press loooooves.)
It sounds to me like the lyrics to an avant-garde rap song. So I wrote it.
Schoolgirl Facebook Bully Shame!
Lang-da-di-dah, dang-dah-dah!
Schoolgirl Facebook Bully Shame
Looo-di-doo, di-doo, ling-lang
Schoolgirl Facebook Bully Shame
Go North, go South, it's still the same
Schoolgirl Facebook Bully Shame
Parents, teachers, nobody to blame
Nobody to blame, nobody to blame
Schoolgirl Facebook Bully Shame,
Rock out yo-yo, rock out ho
Schoolgirl Facebook Bully Shame
12 comments:
Don't give up your day job just yet, Eolake :)
This post made my week. I can't stop laughing!
Eolake said...
"...rock out ho."
ROFLMAO!! You're a HOOT, Eo!!
That realllllly sucked. But phat props, homeslice, for having the brass fucking balls to actually post it.
Thanks, man. I guess. :-)
Allright, my turn now!!!
(A-hem!)
There was a man from Boston, Mass,
And he had balls made out of brass.
Every time he banged them together
They made the sound of thunder
And lightning shot out his ass.
Now to think up something about sucking home-made slices. Fat slices...
(Don't you LOVE kinky sex? :-)
Gutsy Gusteau :
I met a man with a name mysterious
He said "just call me Anonymous"
He gave Eolake this sound advice:
"Go suck on a home-made fat sausage slice". (yummy)
Dunno his name, but that cook's famous!
Hey, I'm really good at this! ;-p
(Yes, he cooks with lime, Rick.)
I'm on a ROLL, baby! Pass the rolling pin, Ma.
"Solid potato salad, woooo!
Solid potato salad..."
Yes, this Anon guy confuses me. Sometimes he writes great stuff, and sometimes he's way off. I thought my Bully Shame lyrics rocked.
I can assure you, mes amis, this is not one of my recipees, oui?
I prefaire to make ratatooey, merci beaucoup. Les saucisses à la grease, eet eez fattening.
"I thought my Bully Shame lyrics rocked."
I thought they rolled off the tongue.
Well, perhaps then can at the same time rock AND roll...
But will they melt under the palate?
Ooh yeah, this Pascal guy, in contrast, is NEVER confusing! ;-p
(Maybe slightly off his rocker at times, but that's about it. :o)
It's because I suffer from severe schizophrenia.
Squizofrenia? Is that good with curry and champignons? (slurp)
I squizz all my lemon juice myself. But I 'ave never heard of zees renia ingredient.
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