Senior Moments
[Thanks to Mary]
Your partner says "lets go upstairs and make love" you reply "pick one,
I cant do both".
When I go upstairs my buttocks applaud me and and my knees sound like potato chips. - Joan Rivers
I dont need you to remind me of my age, I have a bladder to do that for me. - Stephen Fry
You know you are getting older when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope
Early signs of being past it:
You experience permanent jet lag, yet the last time you stepped on a plane was 5 years ago.
When you are on holiday your energy runs out before your money.
George Burns contributed many in the arena:
[Thanks to Povl]
• At my age flowers scare me.
• Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
• First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
• How can I die? I'm booked.
• I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
• I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.
• I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
• I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
• I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
• If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
• If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
• Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
• When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
• You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
2 comments:
Hi E - Here's a few more ;-)
• At my age flowers scare me.
• Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
• First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
• How can I die? I'm booked.
• I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
• I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.
• I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
• I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
• I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
• If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
• If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
• Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
• When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
• You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
All credited to George Burns
Povl
Hats off to George Burns, the coolest grampa ever!
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