Thursday, June 25, 2009

Actor needed for emotional role

[Real ad from Craig's List.]

Actor needed for emotional role � One day high pay


Date: 2009-04-17, 12:52PM EDT


My deceased aunt gave my two kids a Cocker Spaniel a few months back. The dog has been a terror and become overwhelming for me. I am a single father raising two young children. I cannot face telling the kids that the dog must go. I have found a good home for the dog, and just need someone to transport the dog, and play the villain.

Premise: You will be the dog walker hired by daddy (me) to walk Skittles. I will introduce you to the kids, and you will tell them you are going to help Skittles get her exercise when Daddy is too busy to walk her. At that point you will walk Skittles to your car and take her to her new family 20 minutes from my place. Then return holding just a leash. The story will be that Skittles broke free of the leash and took off. At this point prepare for crying, things being thrown at you, and possibly cursing. My kids are young and dramatic, their girls.

Pay will be $500. The job will take roughly 2 hours at best.

This job is ideal for an actor looking to diversify their role base, or someone who genuinely likes to make children cry. Acting experience is a plus, but not necessary. Please inform me of any prior experience in this kind of situation.

11 comments:

Alex said...

I live in a sad world where my first fear is what is the real intent of the person placing the ad?

Joe said...

Dad needs to grow up and take responsibility for his situation. If the dogs need to go to another home. Just sit down with the kids and explain what the problem is and why it is necessary. Then just take care of it himself.

If he is not responsible enough to care for and discipline the dog. I wonder how he will be able to discipline the children.

The way people deal with animals and pets is a good indication of how they deal with life. If he is willing to discard the dog, he will probably do the same with the kids when they become too much trouble.
Joe

Ray said...

As someone said, the trouble with kittens and puppies is that they grow up to be cats and dogs.

Alex said...

There is a saying where I came from

"A dog is not just for Christmas.

With proper meal planning it should last into the New Year"

Kabel Yaache said...

Maybe the children will toss daddy away like that too some day in the future.

The fact that he mentions that they might throw things and curse indicates what type of a daddy he is.

Anonymous said...

There is a saying where I came from

"A dog is not just for Christmas.

With proper meal planning it should last into the New Year"


Are you from Vietnam?

Alex said...

No, not Vietnam (or Korea) but from North West England. Cheshire to be exact.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

You all hush down now. I need the money, so I'll do it.
Besides, my cat will LOVE to hear what I've been up to all day.
}:-)

If the guy is ready to pay $500 rather than face his educational responsibilities with his kids, I'm willing to be the one pocketing the easy cash. That PlayStation3 is long overdue. (I hear the latest edition of A Fool & His Money just came out.)

Kabel Yaache went all-out optimistic...
"Maybe the children will toss daddy away like that too some day in the future."

They could just tie him up to a tree and drive away at the start of Summer vacation. :-p

"No, not Vietnam (or Korea) but from North West England. Cheshire to be exact."
Ah, yes, they have very scary cats in Cheshire.
Cats that'll eat a dog and leave nothing of it but the smile.
Even if the dog is of the Baskerville breed. No match for those purple tabby felines.
(Mine's not from Cheshire, but from Marseille. Even worse. And I won't even tell you what my pedigree Beirut Ebony Panther was like! They still haven't finished rebuilding my old neighborhood...)

Ah, got the address of the teckel's new home. "No-Fan-Long, @ Royal Wok restaurant, please use rear entrance." I'm sure Mr Long will love that hot d... that dog.

Alex said...

We got through a total of five Cheshire Cats, only one was a tabby, none demonic, and two had perpetual grins. The Reverend Dodgson came from Daresbury, which now has a particle accelerator. Otherwise a pleasant little village near Runcorn.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

A particle accelerator?
This explains SO MUCH.
I always knew there was a scientifically plausible explanation about those cats.

TC [Girl] said...

Pascal, you're TOO MUCH! I literally had to walk away from my laptop, I was laughing *that* hard!
"...tie him up to a tree and drive away at the start of Summer vacation. :-p" ROFLMFAO (oh and the stomach muscles! lol!)

Captcha: bugfurbu! lol!