Saturday, December 15, 2007
DVD commentaries
Somebody in Hollywood should do courses in how to do DVD commentaries, because few people do it well. For example, in the Seinfeld DVD sets (which otherwise have many excellent extras) there are many, many commentaries (at least forty episodes, I think), but I haven't found a single one which was interesting. When the actors speak, or the creators (Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld), they spend most of the time just watching the episode and laughing heartily at it. Why don't they respect their audience and re-watch the episode at least once before doing the commentary, so they would have the laughing and the surprises out of their system, and time to think up something pertinent to say?
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17 comments:
That's why I stopped listening to them. I don't watch deleted scenes either, because I've always regretted it - they were deleted for a reason, usually.
Mainly I just don't want to waste that kind of time - there is probably no show that I like enough to want to sit through a commentary anyway. I tried it a couple of times, and not only did they have nothing to say, but that's time you don't get back.
"Somebody in Hollywood should do courses" in common sense! But I don't think these have been invented yet!
Commentaries are meant (supposedly) for additional interesting bits that the viewers will like.
But typically they are actually made as mere ego-stroking for the commentators. It's as simple as that.
Some images of actors breaking into laughter are funny to watch, too. Some are not. Just like "funny home videos" of falling people often don't amuse me one bit.
Joe: sometimes the scenes were deleted, not because they weren't good, but simply because they didn't fit in the rhythm of the storytelling. Walt Disney cut two classic scenes from Snow White: the Dwarves making a superb "normal-sized" bed for her, and the soup eating at the dinner table. They both feel very nice in the frame of a "documentary on life with the Dwarves", but they would have broken the dynamic of the story.
They also deleted that orgy scene. That was great.
Oh, yeah, I'd forgotten! :-)))
I have pictures of that scene. Found them on the internet. There's everything on the internet!
Did you see the live action pornie? Good stuff if you like the kinda thing. The lead actually looked like SW, and was stunning.
Roger Waters and Gerald Scarfes commentary for The Wall, especially in I think it's Empty Spaces, the animated flower copulation sequence. Very good, interesting comments.
I also liked the comments for "City of Lost Children", the director looking at how he could do better.
F&G has commentaries. The younger kids are half a lifetime older when they recorded the comments, but don't do it well.
"Did you see the live action pornie?"
Nope, alas. After the anarchy of the war (the heated part of the war), a ban on hardcore porn was enforced in the country's bookshops and VCR rental stores. Perhaps for fear that it might decrease the sex crime rate? :-P
Sometimes I really miss life in France.
"the animated flower copulation sequence"? Wow, NOW you've got my interest! I always wanted to know about how they really do it. "My bee is bigger than yours, you pansy!" ;-)
Did you see the live action pornie? Good stuff if you like the kinda thing. The lead actually looked like SW, and was stunning.
What?! I don't watch porn!
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha --->to infinity
What's so funny about never watching porn? I think it's immensely sad.
[Weeps silently in a corner.]
"To infinity... and beyond!"
Did that pornie feature seven midget actors?
"Did that pornie feature seven midget actors?"
It did!
You might not think it would be easy to find, but I think they simply showed them a picture of the female lead. She may have been the most beautiful porn actress ever. Certainly the sweetest.
What's so funny about never watching porn? I think it's immensely sad.
[Weeps silently in a corner.]
Sometimes it's hard to tell when you're joking... It's funny 'cause of course I watch porn! Not to the extent of some guys, but of course I've seen it. I'm going to have to see that Snow White one.
Worst porn watching moment of all time? Paris Hilton's sex tape.
It did!
You might not think it would be easy to find, but I think they simply showed them a picture of the female lead. She may have been the most beautiful porn actress ever. Certainly the sweetest.
How hung were these guys? I wonder if a midget porn star would be as big as most regular-size guys. I mean, you know, the midget Ron Jeremy. (Well, at 5'6", Ron Jeremy practically is a midget.)
"How hung were these guys?"
I don't recall. I only had eyes for this girl.
I actually prefer my erotica without men at all. Oddly, it's not common at all. Viv Thomas in England has made some good ones with gals only though.
Oddly, it's not common at all.
Maybe if you used a lesbian oriented source, you may find better. Our local quality store is Good Vibrations they are in San Francisco and Berkeley, the two cliched towns for homosexuality. They have good on-line resources, and have a very healthy outlook.
They even have a vibrator museum in store, some artifacts going back 80/90 years.
One of my favourites these days is Abby Winters. That's all chicks. All amateurs, too, but some very good looking women.
It seems weird in a way that they would have such well-hung guys in porn anyway, considering that the main audience is guys, most of whom are not going to be that big.
I know that I do not like midget chicks in porn. That is just too weird.
"Sometimes it's hard to tell when you're joking..."
Ah, you'll learn with time! :-)
And thanks for the tip. Now I'm positively SURE I don't want to watch the Paris tape. Admittedly, I had little initial doubt!
What I'm genuinely starved for, is precisely sweet porn. The vulgar tasteless kind is available by the truckloads. And it often insults the beauty of sex.
Hot mama! You were right, that actress IS a perfect Snow White.
"I know that I do not like midget chicks in porn. That is just too weird."
Well, not that I have such a specific fetish, but I'm so unprejudiced I didn't find the film Freaks the least bit shocking.
I wish midget people could one day act in a porn film without it being watched only by weird people. I still have no idea what my future wife will look like, because my only "type" is a personality.
the only commentaries i've ever liked are the ones done by paul verhoeven on the dvds of his movies...
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