Monday, January 22, 2007

Zex and zex and zex and zex...

Once at a party I gave a monologue as an overwrought psychiatrist. Whenever he mentioned sex he would go into auto-feedback in his Austrian accent: "zex and zex and zex and zex..."

When he needed a member from each gender from the audience to demonstrate how relations work, he walked around (a bit like Groucho Marx) and felt everybody on their chest to determine gender. One lady covered hers in a hurry, but a friend of mine was in stitches, probably she had predicted that I would zero in on her because she has a very nice figure...

So he got the two people up in front, and he asked them to hold hands, and then to smile at each other. He said: "Zat vas ze foreplay..."

I forget how it all ended, but fun was had.

17 comments:

Hannah said...

LOL Sounds very funny! :)

But what do you do as a woman in that situation? If you don't cover up, and pretend that you don't want it, then people probably think badly of you. Though it does sound like fun to play along...

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

"But what do you do as a woman in that situation? If you don't cover up, and pretend that you don't want it, then people probably think badly of you."

Not in the circles I walk, they don't.

Hannah said...

Huh. Those circles sound interesting.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

I like them.
Progressive and liberal.

And I normally say "I'm Danish" to explain some of that, but you're in Holland, it should not be all that different, I guess.

Anonymous said...

Ach, zo Herr Stobblehouse, you like to walk in zirkles, hmm? How verry inderreztink. Dat vould egzplain your egztreeme figzation on zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and zex and...

Hannah said...

Depends on the people I'm around. Normally I'm around engineers and such... not exactly a conservative crowd but people skills aren't always that great.

One of the things that I do notice is that nudity in advertisements doesn't really seem to be a problem, though - good.

Anonymous said...

Doktor Von Pascal said...
Ach, zo Herr Stobblehouse, you like to walk in zirkles, hmm? How verry inderreztink.

ahhh.....doktor...me too haz zame problum! need zum zex mine elv! lol.

Hannah said...

Why is it suddenly funnier when called "zex" ? :)

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Zex is alvays funny, and everyzink iz a little funnier in an Austrian akzent. :)

By the way, I suspect I stole the idea from the comic The Dark Knight Returns (a psych being interviewed on TV), but my copy of it is packed down so I haven't checked.

Anonymous said...

I hope this zexplanation satizfied you, Fraulein Hannah? ;-)

Hannah said...

I can't see how zex can always be funny (unless zex is funny sex), but I'll leave that one alone. :)

Ja wol, herr Pascal. :)

Anonymous said...

So he got the two people up in front, and he asked them to hold hands, and then to smile at each other. He said: "Zat vas ze foreplay..."

I love the German people. For real. They are kind and gracious and full of life and love. I would love to see their beautiful country (but i don't want to go through that stupid strip search in st.louis for the airline ride.)
Getting naked in front of strangers behind a cold wall in an airport is insidous! It's almost as bad as a papsmear!

Anonymous said...

Huh. Those circles sound interesting.

They are hanah. Very much so. Stobblehouse has it down! I get the wave and the drift!

Anonymous said...

sugar babe said...
"(but i don't want to go through that stupid strip search in st.louis for the airline ride.)"

I take it then that you're not going to Germany for the nude beaches, huh? ;-)

Anonymous said...

I take it then that you're not going to Germany for the nude beaches, huh? ;-)

I didn't know they even existed over there. Seems to me that most Germans these days are afraid of their own shadows for fear they might arouse suspicion to their government. Just an observation.
And yes, I don't mind being naked in front of anybody as long as they are nude as well. It isn't like I've never seen a naked man before or woman ;)

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Germany has a huge tradition of naturism.

Anonymous said...

In fact, I believe modern naturism was BORN in Germany.