The hundred and three-year old virgin

I once worked in a nursing home. One of the ladies had the hots for me something bad. One day in the common room, she put her hand on my thigh and said "nice jeans". Then she slid it higher, and said "nice crotch".
A nearby nurse sighed and said: "Karen, how old is it you are again?"
"Forty-two?"
"You're a hundred and two."
"I'm a HUNDRED AND TWO years old?!"

And she was. She died next year, a hundred and three, apparently still a virgin.
Story was she had been scared off men by her mother, and in her old age she had had woefully regretted it.

I guess the moral is, listen to your parents, but don't take everything as gospel.

Maybe I should have helped her fulfil her wish, but I was fearful the the management would see it as taking advantage...

Featured comment by Laurie:
I work part-time in a gym, and work out there. I don't want to keep harping about my hair, but a few days ago an elderly patron in his 70's started chatting with me while I was working out. He squinted his eyes and looked at me and said, "I really like your hair." The thought flashed instantaneously through my mind, "dirty old man." Then, just as quickly, I thought of the Domai philosophy. I also saw how I also love my hair. I smiled at the man, a real genuine turn it all on joyful smile, and we both parted happy.

Later I had a fantastic conversation with this man. He spends his whole week doing nice things for other people, like picking up day-old bread at the supermarket at 6 in the morning, and delivering it to families, and singing in a group with other old men in local nursing homes. He also spends his time commenting on women's beautiful hair. All's right with the world.
laurie

Introduce yourself

We have some cool eggs hanging out here, and I'd like to know a little more.
Like where is Lucid Twilight? How old is Final Identity? What does Ronald do for a living? How tall is Pascal? What color is Laurie's hair? Where was Adam born? What does Wonko do to relax? Can we get a topless picture of Hannah (just kidding)? Does TTL really mean "through the lens"? Is RevLizbeth really a reverend?
And most importantly, this Anonymous guy, how does he have time for all those posts, and does he have a last name? (Apologies to all those I did not mention.)
Just put up like 100 words, with the most pertinent facts.

Oooh, and I know it's hard, but try not to make it sound like a Lonely Hearts ad, OK? :)

Hair, not the musical

In the Introduce Yourself thread Laurie mentioned her bounty of hair, so I asked for pictures, and she got sum dun. Velly nice.