How supremely sad that this site takes so long to load. Otherwise, I'd already have a massive collection of all its wild articles. Instead of relying on Eolake Stobblehouse thoughts.com to point out just the mostest interestingest ones.
A rather recent moral panic in Lebanon, around 2004 I think, was about Satanism. Presumedly! Caused all young people with goth style or the slightest tattoo to be harassed under the suspicion of "offending God through BDSM necrophile graveyard porn underage orgies with loud music of bloody blasphemous hate". Or something.
But fear not, good citizens! Sleep sound, for no moral panic in official media has ever hinted so far that there might exist corruption in the Lebanese political class. Phew! :-P
"parents were told they should smell their kid's breath for shit when they came home."
I'm assuming this isn't about Marijuana...
What about one zombie-breath priest I once knew? You reckon his ultra-serene smiling piousness was in reality from jerkin' under jenkem?...
Methinks the retirement homes in Lebanon have a major problem on their, um, hands. (All with me now, kids: "EEYEUW!")
Oh, and I seem to recall Alex Kidd in Miracle World [bundled with the Sega Master System II® in the Eighties], where heroes AND villains together play Jankhen, a game with hand gestures that fall close to being obscene.
Weird illustration at the top of this article. Looks like it's illustrating Bondage Dungeons And Danger Bat-duo?... "Holy homo horror, Batman! We've been outed!"
"The moral panic started like a lot of them do: with a death and an idiot." Littleton, Colorado and Doom obsession? "GTA made me do it"? BTW, isn't it odd that VIDEOGAMES about shooting with firearms are attracting more heat than ACTUAL NRA-sponsored firearms fire sales?...
I remember when the Sony PlayStation came out, they had the wildest advertising campaign. Invented the APSC, the Anti-PlayStation Committee bashing at the console.
Then came the really nutty ads.
Like Tekken, showing a martial arts class student wooing his teacher with badass high-flying moves learned from playing the game, all the way to this: sitting on the ground in the lotus position, spinning on his butt, and suddenly teleporting behind the sensei, just like samurai-cyborg Terminator look-alike Yoshimitsu!
Another one, showed a guy dressed solely with a pair of jeans and sneakers, body all painted in orange, multi-colored feathers in his hair, yelling "ooyabaga!" and causing havoc in a supermarket, especially when he started leaping on the apples in the fruit stands. The police commented: "He played Crash Bandicoot..."
I shudder to think at the damage Super Mario Bros must've caused, getting youngsters worldwide to eat Amanita phalloides and radioactive starfish, and leap in open sewers for loose change while kicking hapless turtles in the tukhas.
Also, I suspect the engineers who planned the renovated and rebuilt Central Beirut after the war drew the plans not with Autocad, but with a Tetris simulator. Would SO explain the circulation problems when you take your car nowadays!
For, of course, Mrs Patricia Pulling couldn't possibly envision that maybe she was a bad mother, suffocating her teenage son with her narrow outdated strict moral views. Preposterous! ANY explanation would immediately be more plausible, right? Hey, what's this? Dragons? By Saint George, the Symbol of Evil in my fragile, gullible baby's own room? THAT'S IT!!! Have at thee, miscreants! (Any similarity with Thor from Marvel Comics would be entirely fortuitous.)
"In 1979, James Dallas Egbert disappeared in a series of steam tunnels under Michigan State University." There, you see? I told you! That's not D&D, that's because of Super Mario Bros! And how many weak-willed youngsters became jewelry shop robbers because of hypnotically gathering too many golden rings in Sonic the Hedgehog? Before a-milking a few maidens and a-shooting a partridge in a pear tree. Besides, those leaping lords are SO clearly fags...
Some of the comments there are quite good. Here's one of my faves:
About the backwards messages thing: Did you hear that one? When you play the Windows Vista DVD backwards, you hear a horrible, scary voice and a satanic laughter. But when you play it the normal way, it's much, much worse. Because then, it INSTALLS Windows Vista.
I'm surprised The Dickster still hasn't commented about the rainbow parties. (Man, talk about GIVING ideas to horny teens! Way to go, prudies. :-)
Don't bother reading it. We flipped right to the end and the party never happens. Turns out the girl's dad comes home early, so the party gets canceled. Fucking douche!
Thanks, Cracked, you just saved me a few bucks!
How supremely sad that this site takes so long to load.
4 comments:
How supremely sad that this site takes so long to load. Otherwise, I'd already have a massive collection of all its wild articles. Instead of relying on Eolake Stobblehouse thoughts.com to point out just the mostest interestingest ones.
A rather recent moral panic in Lebanon, around 2004 I think, was about Satanism. Presumedly! Caused all young people with goth style or the slightest tattoo to be harassed under the suspicion of "offending God through BDSM necrophile graveyard porn underage orgies with loud music of bloody blasphemous hate". Or something.
But fear not, good citizens! Sleep sound, for no moral panic in official media has ever hinted so far that there might exist corruption in the Lebanese political class.
Phew!
:-P
"parents were told they should smell their kid's breath for shit when they came home."
I'm assuming this isn't about Marijuana...
What about one zombie-breath priest I once knew? You reckon his ultra-serene smiling piousness was in reality from jerkin' under jenkem?...
Methinks the retirement homes in Lebanon have a major problem on their, um, hands. (All with me now, kids: "EEYEUW!")
Oh, and I seem to recall Alex Kidd in Miracle World [bundled with the Sega Master System II® in the Eighties], where heroes AND villains together play Jankhen, a game with hand gestures that fall close to being obscene.
Weird illustration at the top of this article. Looks like it's illustrating Bondage Dungeons And Danger Bat-duo?...
"Holy homo horror, Batman! We've been outed!"
"The moral panic started like a lot of them do: with a death and an idiot."
Littleton, Colorado and Doom obsession?
"GTA made me do it"?
BTW, isn't it odd that VIDEOGAMES about shooting with firearms are attracting more heat than ACTUAL NRA-sponsored firearms fire sales?...
I remember when the Sony PlayStation came out, they had the wildest advertising campaign.
Invented the APSC, the Anti-PlayStation Committee bashing at the console.
Then came the really nutty ads.
Like Tekken, showing a martial arts class student wooing his teacher with badass high-flying moves learned from playing the game, all the way to this: sitting on the ground in the lotus position, spinning on his butt, and suddenly teleporting behind the sensei, just like samurai-cyborg Terminator look-alike Yoshimitsu!
Another one, showed a guy dressed solely with a pair of jeans and sneakers, body all painted in orange, multi-colored feathers in his hair, yelling "ooyabaga!" and causing havoc in a supermarket, especially when he started leaping on the apples in the fruit stands. The police commented: "He played Crash Bandicoot..."
I shudder to think at the damage Super Mario Bros must've caused, getting youngsters worldwide to eat Amanita phalloides and radioactive starfish, and leap in open sewers for loose change while kicking hapless turtles in the tukhas.
Also, I suspect the engineers who planned the renovated and rebuilt Central Beirut after the war drew the plans not with Autocad, but with a Tetris simulator. Would SO explain the circulation problems when you take your car nowadays!
For, of course, Mrs Patricia Pulling couldn't possibly envision that maybe she was a bad mother, suffocating her teenage son with her narrow outdated strict moral views. Preposterous! ANY explanation would immediately be more plausible, right? Hey, what's this? Dragons? By Saint George, the Symbol of Evil in my fragile, gullible baby's own room? THAT'S IT!!! Have at thee, miscreants!
(Any similarity with Thor from Marvel Comics would be entirely fortuitous.)
"In 1979, James Dallas Egbert disappeared in a series of steam tunnels under Michigan State University."
There, you see? I told you! That's not D&D, that's because of Super Mario Bros!
And how many weak-willed youngsters became jewelry shop robbers because of hypnotically gathering too many golden rings in Sonic the Hedgehog? Before a-milking a few maidens and a-shooting a partridge in a pear tree.
Besides, those leaping lords are SO clearly fags...
Ho-ho-ho!
Some of the comments there are quite good. Here's one of my faves:
About the backwards messages thing:
Did you hear that one?
When you play the Windows Vista DVD backwards, you hear a horrible, scary voice and a satanic laughter.
But when you play it the normal way, it's much, much worse.
Because then, it INSTALLS Windows Vista.
I'm surprised The Dickster still hasn't commented about the rainbow parties.
(Man, talk about GIVING ideas to horny teens! Way to go, prudies. :-)
Don't bother reading it. We flipped right to the end and the party never happens. Turns out the girl's dad comes home early, so the party gets canceled. Fucking douche!
Thanks, Cracked, you just saved me a few bucks!
How supremely sad that this site takes so long to load.
Only in Lebanon, you say? Pity.
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