Just another example of how art can help you: Laurie Anderson's wonderful song Monkey's Paw ("I got everything I ever wanted. Now I can't give it up. It's a trap, just my luck!") made me think, back a decade ago, about the philosophical principle of the title. You may know it already: Apparently in India, they trap monkeys by hollowing out a coconut, securing it, making a hole in it just large enough for a monkey to get his hand in. They put rice in the coconut. The monkey put his hand in, grabs some rice... but he can't get his hand out with his fist closed! And he is not willing to give up the rice, so he is trapped.
Basically, anything you can't give up, money, sex, status, special relationships, ego, fame, emotions... it traps you.
The key principle to spiritual freedom is to LET GO.
Thinking about this has helped me immensely in recent years, and it is taken to new levels in A Course In Miracles. Get the book for free, I've made a PDF file. (5.4 MB)
26 comments:
Eolake wrote: "Basically, anything you can't give up, money, sex, status, special relationships, ego, fame, emotions... it traps you."
We all can give up anything and everything when facing a forced tradeoff against something we value more.
Not wanting to voluntarily give up something we value does not in itself constitute a "trap". But there is, of course, a "maintenance cost" to all posessions. And sometimes we fail to see that the maintenance cost outweights the value of the posession. The failure to see this might be considered a kind of trap.
Seeing emotions as a "trap" is ludicruous.
Emotions are quite simply communication. It is one of the primary mechanisms our subconsciousness uses to signal us what's happening. Emotions themselves are neutral. The mechanism is crucial to our well being.
The problems we associate with emotions stem from our inability to interpret them. Don't shoot the messenger.
Wanting to "give up" emotions is like saying: "I want to make my skin numb so that I can place my hand on a hot stove without all that pain bothering me."
"The problems we associate with emotions stem from our inability to interpret them. Don't shoot the messenger."
Very nicely said, TTL. :-)
If I were a monkey's uncle, I'd try moving the rice close to the hole, removing my hand, and slipping my tongue. Especially in the country of Kama-Sutra!
An ape (such as a chimpanzee) would also have the smart idea to use a tool: spoon, twig or the like...
Seeing emotions as a "trap" is ludicruous.
To TTL
Precisly. Emotions are built into our system by God himself. You cannot rid yourself of this. It is ludicruous to consider it a trap.
And sometimes we fail to see that the maintenance cost outweights the value of the posession.
Sounds like the stories of broken relationships as well. Each person trying to grab the wheel all the time. Just sign on the dotted line and exit the courthouse with the divorce degree framed in gold.
Insight meditation practice sees the incoming / outgoing emotion in terms of its "texture" -- noting the sensation of it (it is energy)
and also noting the mind's urge to grab onto that pure energy and make a form out of it. Presto: suffering.
I have begun watching how the mind interprets the emotion (even calling it "emotion" is an interpretation) -- and to see it as not who I am. If I can see it I am not that.
In recent years I feel almost cold
when it comes to emotions. Even love, I'm not caught up in. Passion is felt more as an intense spiritual will within. I *see* compassion for someone without taking on the suffering myself, like I used to. I feel no pity or fear for people in their suffering, like I'm seeing the person behind the personality, where there is nothing to fear.
I must appear very cold to some,
but I also instantly feel such intimacy with people.
laurie
I feel no pity or fear for people in their suffering, like I'm seeing the person behind the personality, where there is nothing to fear.
I must appear very cold to some.
To you signalhouse,
Yes you do appear cold. Without pity you deny yourself sympathy and empathy.
Do you not pity the man who has been robbed and lay beaten on the street bleeding and possibly dying because someone attacked him?
You wouldn't work well in the field of a caregiver would you?
Precisly. Emotions are built into our system by God himself. You cannot rid yourself of this. It is ludicruous to consider it a trap.
Spock, you are wise indeed. You put that very well. You have keen insight. I for one will never deny my own emotions. I don't want to become robotic.
It is a foolish man who tries to rid himself of emotion.
Yes Lucid,
This too is solid. Try one might to disregard emotion and you might as well cut out your heart and soul.
I'm surprized at your age you can see that. That's good. You are learning quickly young man.
I didn't express my state very well, I guess, but this doesn't surprise me.
I feel in a different way. I feel an intense caring for others; I do not fear for them or try to take away their suffering. If I walked by a burning building and saw a child inside would I move fast to save her? Absolutely.
This morning at the gym while on the treadmill (smile - it's the ony time I get to watch t.v.) there was a story of a guy in New York who saw a baby dangling from a 4th story railing. He recounted the story of how he and his friend together stood under that baby and saved it as it fell. It made me cry, a little embarrassing on a treadmill. I was crying for the sheer love these two men exhibited.
I sometimes feel distant from the emotional side of things, other times I cry inwardly at the scarcest show of compassion.
It's just that . . . . . I don't fear suffering as I used to.
I think that's just right, and that you're blessed for it.
It made me cry, a little embarrassing on a treadmill. I was crying for the sheer love these two men exhibited.
Signalroom,
Embarrassed by tears on a treadmill? I cried when the towers fell and all those innocent people perished. I wasn't ashamed or embarrassed. You make me sad.
Had I seen what you spoke of, I would weep with JOY that the child was spared BY THE LOVING attibutes of these brave men.
Not that it is my role to save others, but if I am free of the sorrow they feel then the best thing I can do is remain that way so I can help raise them to my level when they are ready, comforting them until that time comes.
Would you save others if you could?
What is your level? Please explain briefly.
Comforting them is great but being devoid of sympathy (is this what you are saying?) how can you comfort. I do not understand your words.
Even our negative feelings serve a purpose. They tell us when something is wrong inside of us.
Not always. Many times it reminds us of what is wrong in the world, not necessarily within us.
proud black man, actually I was crying for joy. It was amazing.
The one guy needed his buddy to help him, and they both stood thee, and the first man said to his friend, "This baby will NOT hit that pavement." From that height the child fell and the impact would have been over 1,000 pounds. But no one was hurt.
Yes, very brave men.
Signalroom said...
"If I can see it I am not that."
Well, I know I am not the reflection I see in my mirror, but it looks darn close to the real me. ;-)
"Emotions are built into our system by God himself."
They are. Like sexual drive. And yet it doesn't mean rape is okay. What we do with what God created in us is our enlightened responsibility. Including emotions. Anger can save your life, for instance, or get you to kill someone who didn't deserve it. God gave us free will. The evil men do comes from our misuse of this free will, without God being guilty of giving it to us. Emotions are okay, but shouldn't reign supreme either.
Take it from somebody who has overcome depression : some parts of you (if not all of you) must be kept under control of your conscious will if you wish to truly be free. There can be such a thing as slavery from within.
Don't become robotic. Feel. But think too.
Lucid Twilight said...
"I did not live in the most favorable conditions, but my life was not hell either."
You remind me of myself, "young man". :-)
Don't be fooled by the fact that I often mention Lebanon, people : it's not to beg for sympathy and whine that I *deserve* to be pitied and loved. It's simply something that explains me better. My past is a part of who I am, and explains some of what I say and think and believe. Like everybody else who's confided us with part of theirs. Sometimes very bravely, I might add. Which is why, to me, everybody's welcome to share, it feels enriching.
You know, it's funny : although I've gained a lot of maturity over the years, I don't really feel different from the person I was at 18. It's still me, just a "Me" who's improved a bit, evolved, grown. Just like you only make a fine old wine with a fine young brew, they're the same with time added.
Not that I'm trying to brag about anything. What I mean is, part of serenity is to accept ourselves as a whole, and this includes who whe were in our past. It is part of us. How many issues arise from the denial of parts of one's self? A LOT.
I see sensible minds, whatever their age, as equals. You can be a young idiot, or an old fool, or a middle-aged moron, age cannot create wisdom from nothingness. Wisdom is timeless and ageless, it just uses time to grow when the seed is good.
It's amazing how adept the mind becomes when it's "learn fast or die". *laughs*
Careful now, or you too will get heat for laughing about sad matters! ;-)
And I want all that masochistic attention for me, me, ME! *<:oP
"I'm in much the same position, although I've never been directly accused of being cold. Distant, perhaps."
It reminds me very much of Nicholas Cage's interpretation in City of Angels. He is an excellent and very competent angel, yet he always appears as if the matters of this agitated world do not reach him directly. He just does his angelic best.
Hey, some of the people who can't be detached or take distance are defined as neurotic hystericals. :-\
It may feel noble, culturally speaking, but we don't HAVE to suffer with people to be good. It is just a spontaneous and very efficient way of finding the right path. A doctor also seems to lack some empathy when he's focused on acting instead of just appearing. And yet, when a level-headed doc saves your life instead of crying with you, it doesn't occur to you to criticize.
Not a small part of my formation was about learning to set aside my over-developed empathy and think solutions. Sympathy, comfort, bringing a smile, these are essentially for the calm moments, like bedside visits to a patient that's recovering and mostly needs patience and morale. Some therapeutic gestures can be brutal, but if you hesitate because of that detail, more brutal death will occur! Breaking ribs while performing heart massage is very common. And nobody cares, all things considered. Some say an efficient CPR must break ribs, although I'm not fully convinced.
I've re-directed my hypertrophied sense of empathy toward productive things. Like sharing with people for mutual enrichment. Or giving without counting to amuse a child whose conception of entertainment is vastly different from that of an adult and taxes your patience. Every specificity you've got, you can make it into a quality if you find the right way. And it also can become a weakness or default if you choose the wrong way. I believe there are no bad people, only bad choices. Do you know many people who'll admit : "I'm a bastard, and I don't care"? I know you don't. Bin Laden convinced himself he'd a warrior saint. Hey, Saddam's jailers testified that as an inmate, he was a pretty friendly guy. He just didn't have the wisdom to handle power, and happened to have such power.
Okay, it may seem that I am defending Saddam. I'm not. He did horrible things, with no remorse. But I mean that he wasn't an extra-human monster. He was an ordinary human monster. If he had just been a bank clerk and your neighbor, you might have never suspected what he was capable of in other circunstances. They say power corrupts. Wrong! I believe power reveals the depths of our nature, and the corruption that many of us have within. Look at today's Iraq : they were better off under Saddam, so clearly he wasn't the WORST possible leader, only a very bad one. He had some qualities : he wanted order in his country, which was better than the current insane anarchy, and he was receptive to pressure and threat, unlike a jihadist kamikaze. Not everything is black or white.
"I will, however, offer a smile. If they need embrace I will give it. If they want to talk, I will listen."
Lucid, if you haven't made your choice yet, I believe you could become an excellent doctor. If you just feel confident in learning biology stuff. :-)
"I was crying for the sheer love these two men exhibited."
Well, as a woman, you're lucky that society wouldn't pass judgement on you for doing so. Men usually have to control such feelings, even if they have them just as intensely. That was a beautiful moving story!
proud black man said...
"I cried when the towers fell"
Well sure, but that was really extreme circumstances, wasn't it? Few people could keep "control" at such moments.
Me, I felt more for the people that jumped in the void than those who were crushed inside so fast most of them probably didn't have the time to feel it.
Here in Lebanon, we weren't exactly crying, but that's only because we're a little dried out after our own continuous ordeals since 1975. We've seen to much, for too long. We don't always cry, or a lot, when we see lebanese people dying either, because we're a bit numbed after all this time. (It does feel strange, upon reflection. Suffering becomming a common sight, somehow this is terrible.) Our own "9/11" was the Hariri assassination in Feb 14th, 05. We WERE shocked. But there were few tears. Been there, seen that.
Naturally, we felt intense emotion from 9/11. I guess for an American, who's never seen war acts in his own country, the shock was at its fullest. We only really differ by what we've already lived...
"You make me sad. Had I seen what you spoke of, I would weep with JOY"
Hey, you're being a little harsh here. How can you be sure Signalroom's feeling wasn't the same, only expressed with different words? I'm hard pressed to interpret her emotion any OTHER way.
You make me sad. Had I seen what you spoke of, I would weep with JOY"
Hey, you're being a little harsh here.
No Pascal, I'm not being harsh. Do not take a perception from an innocent statement. You are jumping the gun here.
Careful now, or you too will get heat for laughing about sad matters! ;-)
Everything is funny to you Pascal. Everything. I've read your posts before and they always seem to revolve around some kind of strange fixation with humour.
Your psychi must require full time attention doesn't it? A drive that you cannot stop from within your war-weary soul.
It's as if you are always filming a scene from that horrible M.A.S.H. series. You remember the one with that sarcastic Alan Alda who could never stop whining about the war or other matters.
The whole world is just one big joke after another isn't it? I often wonder if you actually believe you are helping others by laughing at nearly everything?
I don't find humour in war or death or destruction or bagging up dead bodies.
Yeah.........it's all very funny isn't it Pascal from Lebanon?
They say power corrupts. Wrong!
To Padscal
Power Does Corrupt. This is correct. History has always shown this to be true in most areas.
Read the books. It's all in print.
"If my friend was stabbed and the dagger still remained within his flesh, would it make sense for me to withdraw the blade and stab myself so we are both wounded?"
Whoa, stop it right there! You should NEVER remove a blade that's still in the wound. It may be the only thing keeping a ruptured vessel from bleeding more openly.
Reduce the victim's movements to a minimum, call the paramedics, and leave the removal of the blade to the surgeon in the O.R., that's what I've been taught.
And get your own damn blade, if you're so jealous!
"we are likely to cause more problems if we are reactionaries as opposed to calm, steady individuals"
Attaboy, now that's the spirit. Precisely what I meant about not tampering with blades. You ARE doctor material after all.
"I can show them the way, but I cannot force them to walk it."
So, in other words, you'd be ready to take a horse to the water, but you can't make it drink?
proud black man said...
"No Pascal, I'm not being harsh. Do not take a perception from an innocent statement. You are jumping the gun here."
Okay, I take that back and apologize.
I'd rather jump the gunman than the gun!
Yeah, of course, Yedi Zookoo. Ever since the war began when I was 4, I've been in a single, long fit of laughter. It certainly doesn't take any courage to adopt self-derision in moments of despair, right?
Say, you're pretty witty yourself, Voodoo Zookoo. Where ya from? Birmania? Biafra? North Korea? Certainly not from a prosperous democratic country, or you'd have no humor at all.
Anonymous said...
"Power Does Corrupt. This is correct."
Riddle me this, Batman : if it is Power that corrupts, and God has absolute Power, what's the forced conclusion?...
I have a major in logical fallacies, you know. One can't get me that easily.
"Padscal"
Dude, peace and love, man. Greatest power of all is love, y'know? And love don't corrupt. Hey, I've lived in free love all my life, and never taken one single payoff, my brother. Money's pointless, it ain't worth jack, y'know?
So lay back, ease off, and take in the positive vibes. The crystals love us all. An' they're singing right now, oh wow!
Lucid,
Now that you mention it, Lebanon's top TV program, by far the most popular, is the thursday night satirical show. They keep joking about everything that makes our life miserable, and a vast majority of viewers love it! It's our weekly Prozac, local brew.
The name of the program is
B A S S M E T T - WATTAN
Wattan is the country. It means "smiles of a country", but there's a word play in that it could also mean "when a country died". This is the Lebanese spirit, folks.
So please respect my culture, or I'll start crying! (As soon as I remember where I've put that dang bucket, this house is damp enough already.)
I once saw a very funny parody of a Sherlock Holmes story. Dr. Watson pulled out a knife from the back of a stab victim, and Holmes berated him for it. So Watson stuck it back...
"So Watson stuck it back..."
Dude, ouch! ;)
I think I saw that too, way back in the days. Before my memories went all psychaedelic an stuff.
Try to understand.
I will try Lucid.
Dear Mr. Pascal, I apologize for what I said earlier. I really do. I guess it was Lucid's firm (but kind approach) that made me realize that perhaps I was wrong. Or that I am wrong.
Your life must be tough? Forgive me will you? Maybe your jokes and laughter is the only way you can deal with your country's troubles and the patients you treat.
I'm sorry okay? Can we be friends?
What was the original topic here?
My head's spinning :)
Yedi ZooKoo said...
"I'm sorry okay? Can we be friends?"
Sure. Life is too short to waste in grudges. It's never too late to make peace and become friends with a decent person. :-)
There's a proverb in Lebanon : "You only really get a friend after a good fight."
I'm not sure about the "only" bit, but it does happen. We're cool, man. The slate is clean, and the past is gone.
So, wanna tell us about yourself, Yedi?
It's surprising, indeed, how quickly a joking discussion can become very serious. Check out the "Red and Birches" thread for an intense example. And a sample of my other sides. Friend.
We're cool, man. The slate is clean, and the past is gone.
Thank you Dr. Pascal. Friends we are :) Nice to make your aquantice. I am from Mexico. I'm 59 going on 22 lol. I like most everyone I meet, I like to write but I'm not a great writer as you can see.
Ah, positive vibes everywhere! Groovy.
I like this place, it's cool. Peace and love will conquer the Earth with songs and kisses, I can sense it. My mood crystal is glowing pink.
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