Three couples - a senior citizen couple, a middle-aged couple, and a young newlywed couple - wanted to join a church.
The pastor informed them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. We require them to abstain from having s*e*x for two weeks before joining the church. Are you ready to do that?" The couples said they were.
Two weeks later, the three couples returned.
The pastor asked the senior citizen couple, "Were you able to abstain for the entire two weeks?"
The old man replied, "No problem at all, Pastor."
"Congratulations!" said the pastor. "Welcome to the church."
The pastor then asked the middle-aged couple, "Were you able to abstain for the two weeks?"
The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes, we made it."
"Congratulations!" the pastor said once again. "Welcome to the church."
The pastor then asked the newlywed couple, "Well, were you able to abstain for the two weeks?"
"I must apologize, Pastor," the young man said, "but we were not able to."
"What happened?" inquired the pastor.
"Well, we almost made it, but then just yesterday, my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it," the young man explained. "When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and couldn't resist taking advantage of her right then and there."
"I see," said the pastor. "You understand, of course, this means you will not be able to join our church," he added. "I'm sorry." The young couple left the pastor's office.
"I can't believe it!" the wife said as they walked outside. "Banned from both church and the supermarket in the same week!"
3 comments:
cute. Here's one in retaliation...
A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Bob, Tom and Debbie.
They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do.
After several years of casual sex, all the time, Debbie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.She felt having sex with both Bob and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.
It was tragic, but Bob and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Bob and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.
Well, a couple more years went by and Bob and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.
So they buried Debbie.
I heard it differently (from my older brother thirty years ago):
Bob said to Tom: "this is disgusting, we have to bury her."
And a couple weeks later, Tom to Bob: "This is disgusting, we have to dig her up again."
A bedouin sheikh had only one wife, because he was always busy with business(!) trips. Every time he got home, he stayed a while, honored his dear wife, got her pregnant, and left again for business. And every time, when he would return, she was pregnant no more!
One day, he returned early from his trip, went home, and found his wife on the kitchen table, a man licking away between her thighs.
He exclaimed: "By Allah! Now I know who's been eating all them babies!"
(It sounds funnier in arabic, with the Gulf accent: "Allaaah! Uw ana gool meen men yaakol halwlaaad!")
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