King, not the King

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

  -- Fred Allen

I can't understand why anybody would pay to get a novel, when he can write one himself and earn a million doing it. 

  -- Stephen King

(OK, King didn't say that, so far as I know, I made it up, but I thought it a nice counterpoint.)