I now have so many gadgets around the house that when something beebs, I have to stop, think, or even search to find out which one it was, and if it's something I need to do something about. Really. It's ridiculous.
Yesterday I heard an ambulance siren. Very loud. I almost got a heart attack. It was loudest when I walked into the living room. It was so loud and so realistic that I had to not only stand over, but to lift up the fax machine to be sure that the sound was actually coming from it.
But I couldn't blame it, the thing had a paper jam. Serious situation.
Not only is it the first time I ever heard the machine give that alarm in the four years I've had it, but come on: a loud ambulance siren to tell me the fax is stuck? Jeeeeeezzz.
Ambulances and police have stupid horns instead of melodic sirens like in the UK. They are a nuisance and can give you a heart attack.
ReplyDeleteAlso nobody seems to mind those ugly verbs at the cashiers. A been couldn't be any uglier and the cashier is hearing during her whole shift. No wonder she's moody back home...
Greetings.
...beep was converted to verb, and I was talking about horns in Germany.
ReplyDelete...is hearing them...
Sorry for the typos.
Auto correction prog.
Yep, we looooove auto-correction software, the most helpful invention ever!
ReplyDeleteEver been in a MacDonald's in the US? The deep fryers (beep fryers?) are constantly bleeping for attention. No wonder the kids working there are moody all the time.
ReplyDeleteauto-correctness can be pretty funny:
What the duck?
David Pogue's Autocorrect Follies
Thanks for the links, look promising.
ReplyDeleteI like the burgers at Frankie And Benny's. But they always play the same music from the couple of official CDs they are allowed to play, 50's rock. I am tired of it, just coming there every other month, I feel I'd go nuts if I had to work there.
Most radio stations play the same stuff over and over. In the places I worked as a teenager, fast food places mostly, you'd hear the same songs over and over. Some of the more hated ones, if I hear them today they still make me cringe.
ReplyDelete50s music would be even worse, since what they called rock is a lot different from today.
Paper jam? I'm used to hearing that sound in traffic jams! A "clever" pun from the machine's designers, maybe?
ReplyDeleteAptly-named Monsieur Beep! ;-)
I've already had the same thought, about those poor cashiers. Like, OMG! From just my own full chariot, I'm already fed up with that @#%&$ sound!
Like, I mean, what the [BLEEP]?
"Yep, we looooove auto-correction software, the most helpful invention ever!"
They lack the only invaluable function: it's self-attaching to ppl hwo cun't speel!!!!1111!! loooooolll
Blogger should auto-target those with the annoyance. :-P
Reminds me of your post a while back, "Whose fans are dumber?" (^_^)
I recall my many shifts in ICU (Intensive Care Unit): when a patient is having arhythmia, or is partially conscious and struggling against the respirator, the effing machines or monitors stard blooldy bleeping their alarms, like, all the time! Needing someone to walk in there and press the "silence" button... which of course in on a self-resetting short delay. How could anybody get any sleep in these conditions, during the merciful precious moments when nobody is dying, between the two day shifts that immediately precede and follow? ):-(
Thankfully, those Gudrun days are long gone, ya? (Gudrun... she was so butch, ach du lieber!) But I still relive them in the occasional nightmare. I think I'm marked for life.
Dave,
Welcome to the club...
You should read the SF satire Mission Earth by Hubbard. It's funny.
ReplyDeleteIt's full of swearing and perverted sex (even a great dane make a stand, and I don't mean a human like me), but *everything* naughty is replaced by "bleep"...
"Take your (bleep)ing (bleep) out of my (bleep) now!"
Yeah, I *have* to admit that's a funny idea.
ReplyDeleteI'll admit it wholeheartedly, since while unaware of it, I had the exact same idea a few years back. But I wouldn't have been brazen enough to make a full (bleep)ing NOVEL with just one such gag.
I guess only an American would have found it worthwile...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAnd a ten-volume novel too.
ReplyDeleteStrange thing is that it works.