BTW, I'm amused that apparently the American public "distrusts bearded people". Assuming it's true, how the f**k do people come up with that kind of prejudices? Who decides, and how? Why not people over 6.2, or people with green shirts, or... frig, I dunno.
How about Santa Claus? We trust him!
ReplyDeleteIt makes you look like you've got something to hide. Plus a bear makes a dude look like a cave man, a mustach makes you look like a 70s porn star, and a goatee makes you look like Satan. (See our friend P-04. ;-))
ReplyDeleteSpeaking as an American from the Old South, I think beards are underrated. I think that a large beard is a very cool and distinctive feature; I'm only sorry that I'm too babyfaced to grow one myself.
ReplyDeleteIronically enough, I had an interesting beard experience the other day when I was in New Orleans with my dad. We were looking for a bakery that sold a special product and pulled over next to a car that was just parking by the side of the road to ask for directions. The window rolled down and when I saw the driver and the passenger, I was certain they had to be either father and son or brothers. They both had enormous beards!
They both wore glasses, and when I asked them for directions, they both stroked their beards and were "umm"ing at the same time. I didn't laugh out loud, but inside I thought it was hilarious that these two chaps looked and acted so alike in such a different way.
"See my beard? Ain't it weird? Don't be skeerd - it's only a beard!" --George Carlin
ReplyDelete"It makes you look like you've got something to hide. Plus a bear makes a dude look like a cave man, a mustach makes you look like a 70s porn star, and a goatee makes you look like Satan."
ReplyDeleteThere once was a man named Dave, who kept a dead whore in a cave. She does smell a bit, he did admit, but think of the money I save!
..they created THAT limerick JUST for you, Nielson!
Um...I don't think we do distrust people with beards. At least, it's not something I've heard of. But I admit, there's a lot of strange stereotypes out there. I don't think it's an American thing so much as a human nature thing.
ReplyDeleteI've heard people in public positions are advised not to have beards for this reason.
ReplyDeleteReal Dave said...
ReplyDelete"...he did admit..."
It would have rhymed better w/"...he had to admit.." :-) (just sayin' :-)
I think a nice - well kept - SOFT beard is really sexy! (just sayin' s'more. :-)
ROFLMAO captcha: "trimisru" Exactly! ;-)
I'm so glad you posted this. I thought I was the only one who hated people with green shirts.
ReplyDeleteFacial hair may indeed be a problem if you want to portray an easily approachable, trustworthy image.
ReplyDeleteThe only exception is well-trimmed “toothbrush” style mustache àla Charlie Chaplin. This style commands respect and portrays sophistication, not to mention a sense of humor.
Hitler, being a fan of Chaplin, copied the famous comedien here. Hitler also figured that with short mustache he could more easily fit his face in a gas mask. Great thinking there!
As you can see, there are many advantages to this style. So, why don't you try it too? I'm sure you'll love it!
Even if you are of the type of person who doesn't like to groom that much -- even if, say, your forelock is outgrown and reaches your nose, why not just comb it to the side and instead put your energies into keeping your mustache short and trimmed. Just like Chaplin!
TTL, are you babbling today, or do I just need sleep?
ReplyDeleteMike, not at all. I've considered starting a club: Green Shirt Haters International Totalitarianism. (Green-SHIT.)
Strange ... I've had a beard of sorts for maybe 25 years, since I was in my mid 20's, and no-one will let me take it off! (Maybe I gotta ugly lug? :-) )
ReplyDeleteGirlfriends have ALWAYS liked it, as have the vast majority of other female friends ... my daughter, now in her mid 20's can't see me any other way, and now has a husband who 'conforms' ... even my new baby boy loves the whiskery feel until I trim it down / shave ... though I suspect he just thinks I'm a cool teddy bear!:-)
*lug?????
ReplyDeleteMUG! :-)
What I find had to understand is my own situation. From the time I was in my eary teens until I could FINALLY grow a beard in my late twenties. Most people were either scared of me or just didn't trust me. I actually had grown adults scream in fear at the site of me. And no I didn't try nor did I startle them. They saw me acknowledged me then screamed and ran in fear. Since I grew the beard life took a 180. Children especially will actually aproach me now. My wife married me parttly because I have a beard. Her father had/has one. The only thing I can think is the Santa effect. I am a rather rotund man. Ok I am almost as wide as I am tall...lol. When I start to talk about all this now people say it is because of the beard. And are shocked when I continue and tell them all this stopped when I grew it.
ReplyDeleteReal Dave, you must have made some bargain with the devil to acquire that sly wit! ;-)
ReplyDeleteMe, I think I look much better with a beard, a short one.
ReplyDeleteGirls seem to like me no matter what. Although it seems to be mostly either jail bait or middle-aged girls who will express it openly. :-)
"I've heard people in public positions are advised not to have beards for this reason."
ReplyDeleteWell yeah, that makes sense. Still, I don't think the general public actually thinks that way. I guess beards fit in the same category as piercings and tattoos. If you want a job, you have to "look normal", whatever that means.
Times must have really changed since Lincoln's day.
ReplyDeleteOh, and btw, Eolake you don't have a beard. You Don Johnson-esque manly stubble. Chicks dig that because even if you're not a man of action it makes you look like one. You know, someone who has so much going on that he doesn't have the time to shave regularly.
ReplyDeleteJohn,
ReplyDeleteNow that I know he´s not real, I can never trust Santa Claus again!!! Boo-hoo!
:,(
Dave,
Actually, I´m Satan´s "evil" twin, sworn to destroy his beloved kingdom!
TC,
Right you are! Better rhythm.
It´s confirmed: you have real talent as a poetess. :-)
TTL,
Chaplin repaid the tribute by playing a Hitler look-alike in the immortal classic The Dictator. HAIL TOMANIA! ONWARDS TO WORLD TOMINATION!
Philocalist revealed...
"Girlfriends have ALWAYS liked it"
I know. I too keep that goatee for Kama-Sutranic reasons.
Erotic tickling is SO underrated.
"my daughter, now in her mid 20's can't see me any other way, and now has a husband who 'conforms' ... even my new baby boy"
Ah, yes, the "Puber Addams syndrome": baby born with his Daddy/Grandpa´s facial hair! :-)
"*lug?????
MUG! :-)"
"Come over here, ya big lug!" <3
"I actually had grown adults scream in fear at the sight of me. [...] I am a rather rotund man."
Well, that would be the very rare "bearded sumo syndrome". Growing a beard and becoming rotund because a je-ne-sais-quoi in your original features and silhouette seems to be irresistibly terrifying...
Also known sometimes as the "Chucky doll-face syndrome".
"And are shocked when I continue and tell them all this stopped when I grew it."
Yes, that´s a common misconception about the syndrome. Many people think the bearded sumo is scary, while in reality it CEASES being so scary.
Blame Evil Kirk for this tenacious prejudice...
"you must have made some bargain with the devil to acquire that sly wit!"
Well, mine is a natural family trait. Quite common in clones, that aptitude for being funny in public. ;-)
"Times must have really changed since Lincoln's day."
Oh, you mean Dishonest Abe? ;-)
"Don Johnson-esque manly stubble. Chicks dig that because even if you're not a man of action it makes you look like one."
"People often wonder whether Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard. Actually, he only has another fist there."