[Thanks to David. Orginal source unknown.]
Sightings of less than optimal observation powers
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a large enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out windowand I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back$1 and 75 cents in change.
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore'
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, What one arth are blind people doing driving?
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her computer would not turn on.
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership topick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.
Americans get dumber by the day. Why? Slow emerging braincancer as a result of continous radiation caused by the use of cellphones.
ReplyDeleteTherefore it is alarming to know that women (the gift of god) are using cellphones more than men. An empty world is glooming.
The above - of course - is one of many scenarios.
The drive through ATM at our bank is labelled in braille.
ReplyDeleteAlex...
ReplyDelete"The drive through ATM at our bank is labelled in braille."
Oh, shit, is that ever HILARIOUS!! ROFLMFAO!! :-)
If the sole cause of stupidity was using cellphones, I'd be a GENIUS.
ReplyDeleteWell, that is, I'd be even more of a genius. ;-)
I once called a place in the US to order some computer parts. I'm from Canada so I told him my address in British Columbia, my province. He told me they don't ship to South America and then argued with me for several minutes about where I lived. I tried to tell him to just write the address down and that FedEx would know it was in Canada, for sure, really. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteOr how about the time I ordered pizza and put the bill on my credit card. The clerk told me he couldn't do that because my friend who was splitting the bill with me gave me cash, and that I was cheating the credit card company. Which just goes to show that there are stupid people here in Canada too.
ReplyDeleteChris said...
ReplyDelete"...Which just goes to show that there are stupid people here in Canada too."
But...it's probably the BEST province in ALL of Canada! :-)