The title line, by the way, is a reference to my ole pal Claus. Back in the eighties his English was not so sharp, so during a course/spa stay in Florida he would pleasantly inform people that he intended to "go lie on the bitch".
The prospect of a long day at the beach makes me panic. There is no harder work I can think of than taking myself off to somewhere pleasant, where I am forced to stay for hours and 'have fun'.
-- Phillip Lopate
Funny thing, innit, how that divides people. Me, I'm with Phil. I wonder what type of person loves vacations, and which doesn't.
I don't really mind the sun of a beach...
ReplyDeleteVacations are ideal for people who are fed up with working and running around constantly.
Then again, you've got people who "don't have time to stay idle" when on vacation. So much fun to be had, so little time, so it's one recreational activity after another, non-stop. These people say "I'll have plenty of time to rest once I go back to work".
That's also what you often hear from people who take the kids on vacation... ;-)
I enjoy vacations, but not beaches so much. They are so boring to me, and too crowded and dirty.
ReplyDeleteI prefer to strap on a gun or two, put on my buckskin clothes, and go wandering in the wilderness, stopping to nibble the wildflowers. I love to examine the tracks that the animals have made and follow to see what they were doing and where they were going.
I once ran across a mother chipmunk and her babies. I sat down beside the old stump that concealed their burrow. After a while the curious babies were climbing all over me while the mother had a fit that her children were not listening to her warnings.
A few years later, I spent hours one day following a tiny shrew as he searched for food under the leaf litter. Probably one of my best days ever.
Another entire day I sat among the roots of an ancient tree on the brink of a cliff, watching the hawks and clouds drift below me, and seeing the people going about their lives far in the distance, with their tiny cars and toy houses. Tiny dots of unknown mysteries in the vastness of the landscape; unaware of my presence on the distant mountain.
If possible, I avoid people while wandering; sitting just off the trail til they pass. If I don't move, they and their dogs will pass within inches of me and never notice. When I was playing with the chipmunks I mentioned above, I was actually in the open and in a populated area. A woman walked by as I sat there. The chipmunks hid just before she came into view. She walked up and looked right at me. I said "Hello", and she jumped and yelped. She then apologized and said she thought I was a statue. Hmmmm.
I think the critical point dividing people is "... where I am forced". More precisely I think "... where one feels forced". Maybe somebody tries to force you, but there's no point, if you don't allow to force yourself. And some people are forcing themselves all the time, even in vacations.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I like very much to be even for some weeks in a naturist camp (with an own small island, no camping cars on this island, only tents) in Croatia at the middle sea (very much preferable in low season), doing nothing much and simply getting more in contact with nature ... these times are mostly timeless for me.
I'm reminded on a story by Ludwig Thoma "Ein Münchner im Himmel" (translated "An Inhabitant of Munich in Heaven"). This guy was going (after suddenly having died) to heaven and was confronted with the daily schedule there:
From 08:00 a.m. till 12:00 a.m.: Singing Hallelujah,
from 12:00 a.m. till 08:00 p.m.: Singing Hosiannah, ...
Of course, with a harp.
... that's really heaven ;-)
Oh, well, the captcha is "chime" :-)
"And some people are forcing themselves all the time, even in vacations."
ReplyDeleteYes. Much as I would like admiration for being an Active Mind or whatever, the thing is that hyperactivity, even mental, is just an addiction like all the rest (TV, junk food, drugs, exercise, coffee...).
An addiction is an attempt at get distracted from mental pain. If the pain is not healed, getting rid of one addiction will probably soon be reason for another one to turn up.
@Ken McManigal
ReplyDeleteBeautifully described. I could feel the atmosphere.
Another entire day I sat among the roots of an ancient tree on the brink of a cliff, watching the hawks and clouds drift below me
I was growing up in South France, at the cliffs at the middle sea there. When I look inside I can recall a picture from me as a small child, sitting on the brink, embracing a small tree and straddling its basis, the feet hanging down in the air,and watching the waves and clouds, like flying over the sea.
@Eo
The worst case would be if someone forces oneself not to force oneself...;-)
Oh, I needed two captchas:
1) "moved"
2) "toyarea"
Yes, seriously :-)
Ken, yeah, those things I can dig. That's beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThough I'd shoot with a camera instead, of course.
I love having time where I can do whatever I want, including doing nothing at all.
ReplyDeleteBut if by vacations you mean traveling as a tourist and lying on beaches... That seems just boring conspicuous consumption of time to me, a way to keep up with the Joneses, something to keep those who want to behave like they think the rich do, busy and consuming.
That gives me no pleasure and sunlight makes our skin age faster anyway... I'll be in my bed, on my pc or reading a book, thanks. :)
But to each his pleasures. "We're all individuals."
Kent, if you had a bigger dick, would you still be into guns? I doubt it.
ReplyDeleteEolake- The only thing I shoot on those walks are old dried "cow patties" or bleached bones that I prop up in sagebrush. If I'm not gonna eat it, I don't kill it. And I am not into stupid destruction of rocks, trees, or property. But you probably already knew that.
ReplyDeleteAnon 2:36AM- Why is it that anti-gun people are so desperate to make guns sexual? Do you project like that often? I loved guns before I even knew what my genitalia was really for. The way guns feel, the weight, the finish, the smell, the fine fit- a well-made gun is a work of art and a precision tool.
Would you make a similar comment about Eolake's love of cameras? What about a person who appreciates fine old books? Or a well-made car? None of my guns has ever harmed anyone.
I love to find old steel and wood tools for sale- you know, the stuff they made before aluminum and plastic became ubiquitous. Guns evoke a similar appreciation in me. Make it sexual if you want. I don't. I've never "got off" by letting a girl handle my guns. It just amazes me that the same ignorant comment still gets made.
"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." --Sigmund Freud, General Introduction to Psychoanalysis (1952)-- No, I don't believe he really said it, but it is still true.
"stopping to nibble the wildflowers."
ReplyDeleteCome on, Kent, that's just brutal, man!
Flowers are alive too, you know. ;-)
"She then apologized and said she thought I was a statue."
Women think you're as handsome as a statue? Now I'm jealous!
"... that's really heaven ;-)"
A man dies and goes to Hell. He's greeted by cheerful Satan in person, who puts a familiar arm around his shoulders:
- Heeey, don't look so glum, buddy! You're here because you've sinned a lot, right? Well, this is the Empire of Sin! I bet it won't be nearly as bad as you expected it. Say, you gamble?
- Um... yes, I do.
- Then you're gonna love Mondays. It's Gambling Day, and we've got every possible money-betting vice you could imagine. This damn place turns into a real fucking casino! (Ah, yes, and we goddamn cuss too. What more could happen to us, we're already in Flamin' Hell!) Hey, you smoke?
- Quite.
- Then just wait until Tuesday. It's Smoking Day. Cigs, cigars, cigarillos, pipes, nargueeleh, weed, opium, crack... pick your poison! Speaking of which, you drink?
- Sure!
- Then you're gonna enjoy Wednesdays.
- Drinking Day?
- Well, d'uh! Did you decidedly do drugs?
- Ditto.
- Everything that wasn't on Smoking Day is for Zonking Day, on Thursdays. Just wait for it, we've got fuckin' everything! That stuff's not for the sissies, I'll tell ya. Oh, hey, you indulge in homosexuality?
- Uh, no, that's really not my thing.
Satan makes an annoyed grimace:
- Oooh... then you're not going to like Fridays!
"Why is it that anti-gun people are so desperate to make guns sexual?"
It's called "penis envy". But it's not Josie's fault if she was born with a vagina.
BTW, I'd love to hear of a cougar or grizzly bear that ran away yelping in terror simply because some well-endowed he-man whipped his Ron Jeremy at 'im. In the woods, sometimes "packing a big stick" isn't enough to be a chef stryker.
("Besides, señor, sometimes, el toro, he wins.")
"Do you project like that often?"
And while we're at it, how far CAN you project?
Hey, let's make this a manhood contest, my bladder's already loaded full! ;-)
"I loved guns before I even knew what my genitalia was really for."
Well, myself, I was potty-trained earlier than that. ;-)
Which is very precocious: remember, it was during the Lebanese Civil War. Guns were everywhere!!!
"Would you make a similar comment about Eolake's love of cameras?"
I think the answer would be: "(yawn) Been there, done that."
Our friendly neighborhood R.A.F. is an expert hunter and fisherperson. A great shooter, and a master baiter.
Not like some wimpy wankers and wuss wild-wandering willing wannabes, oui?
"None of my guns has ever harmed anyone."
Well, none of my PUNS has ever harmed anyone! ;-)
"I've never "got off" by letting a girl handle my guns."
Yeah, better keep that safety on! LOL!
How about by letting a girl handle your "twin-barrel squirting pump-action shotgun"? ;-)
No?
Not even with just her mouth? Come on, surely THAT's sexual!
"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." --Sigmund Freud
Well, a fascination for scatology certainly is, and he definitely said THAT.
P.S.: FART!
"Well, none of my PUNS has ever harmed anyone!"
ReplyDeleteLike hell, they haven't!
I'll be waiting for you on Saturdays... }:-)
Who said I was anti-gun, moron? Thanks for quoting Freud, though, just in case anyone thought you weren't a complete idiot. (I doubt anyone here is in the dark on that one.) Didn't you know he's been totally discredited? What a fucking imbecile you are.
ReplyDeletePascal, why do you humor a douche like Kent? You know he's this blog's Forrest Gump.
ReplyDeleteAh, so brave "Anonymous" is just anti-me. Gotcha. I've been hated by much more clever people than you. Whatever....
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm a hopeless Forrest Gump fan...
ReplyDelete"Life is like a box of baklavas." -- Fareed El-Ghump
Besides, I don't get all this negative attitude towards douches. It's not Kent's fault if his extremely abundant ejaculations have put him deep into jewelery debt. He just "sort of explodes" generously and can't help it.
I hear that he hasn't received much complaint about this from douched babes.
Hey, "douched babes", that's a good pun!
P.S.: TOZZT!
(That's the lebanese onomatopoeia for farting.)
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ReplyDeleteWhat about just being able to LOOK at a BEAUTIFUL place...such as this?! :-P
ReplyDelete(this, incidentally, is a shot taken by Terje Sorgjerd, the Norweigen dude that has done all those AMAZING time-lapses all over the place! This shot is in Dominica. Isn't it GORGEOUS?! I say just drop me off, here, and drop me a shipment of food, once/month, and I think I'd be a HAPPY CAMPER!! Oh and...I'll need some electricity and a cell tower, as well! lol! :-D
Funny, looks totally like a computer generated image.
ReplyDeleteI KNOW!! I've been sitting there looking at the thing trying to understand how he has gotten it to look like that! Is there some kind of 3-D camera out or something? Could HDR look like this? It looks like the backdrop to some kind of claymation or something! All I know is that I LOVE the colors and the waterfall! YUM!! Wanna go there w/me, someday, to see it fer real?! :-D
ReplyDeleteI am a "Friend" of his...on Facebook. :-) I'm going to go snoop around and see if I can find out what he shot that with! It's impeccable! I don't think he would be showing anything but his real work. He's a pretty intense and serious dude w/his passion, there, Eo!
Looks like everything points back to his Facebook page. Seems like everyone left the website format to hop onto the FB bandwagon! :-(
ReplyDeleteNow, I gotta wade through a GOB of comments just to see if he answered anyone! (sigh!) Wonder if he'd answer me, if I ask him what he used.
Yeah, FB is loathful on so many levels.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to "embrace" it 'cuz I have a business to promote; and...I just need to "be a light" rather than hide away. I know of a couple of people that I make "happy" by posting on there, as well; and...they brighten my day, as well. :-D
ReplyDeleteHm..."interesting" Check this out:
ReplyDeleteI went to Yahoo to search for images of Dominica and...whaddaya know.
Click on the image and see where it leads...and when the silly site was created! I wonder if the dude took the picture or...if he is just posting the image and everyone is "oooing" and "awwwing" it and he didn't take it. He hasn't made a comment either way, on his fb, as far as I can tell.