Notes on life, art, photography and technology, by a Danish dropout bohemian.
When you drink the water, remember the river.
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Sunday, October 11, 2009
A fly in the ointment (updated)
Since yesterday I've had a fly in my apartment. Normally I can coax them out or smack them, but it's like this one has psychic powers, I can't get near it. What do you do about flies?
I never smash then, I respect life. I have a friend who hated cocrouches, she was always smashing them and they were coming back. I never had, except once, I used the technic below and it didn't come back.
They don't see glass. You just take a nice and clean transparent glass, put it on the fly, take a paper, slip it below, and let him fly outside.
By the way, can't believe you smash the flies ! What have they done to you ? I thought you were more mataphysic than that !
(I confess I smash moskitos. But no other insect.)
Aniko: "COCKroaches" (I'd say more but...I'll be a "proper Lady" today! lol! OK, I'll just say this: "They're a D**K of a problem!" If you don't *get* it, Aniko, it's not a big deal. Just a silly play on words regarding cockroaches!! :-)
Electric mosquitto zapper - looks like a tennis racket, works on flys too. Over here in the tropics dengue fever and malaria are possible so we generally try to avoid them.
Get some good, old fashioned baloney and leave it out in a pan on the kitchen counter. The problem will take care of itself:
A fly was buzzing along one morning when he saw a lawn mower someone had left out in their front yard. He flew over and sat on the handle, watching the children going down the sidewalk on their way to school.
One little boy tripped on a crack and fell, spilling his lunch on the sidewalk. He picked himself up, put his lunch back in the bag and went on. But he missed a piece of baloney. The fly had not eaten that morning and he sure was hungry. So he flew down and started eating the bologna. In fact he ate so much that he could not fly, so he waddled across the sidewalk, across the lawn, up the wheel of the lawn mower, up the handle, and sat there resting and watching the children.
There was still some baloney laying there on the sidewalk. He was really stuffed, but that baloney sure did look good.
Finally temptation got the best of him and he jumped off the handle of the lawn mower to fly over to the baloney. But alas he was too full to fly and fell straight to the ground... splat!
The moral of this story is simple... don't fly off the handle when you are full of baloney.
It is a big question, responsibility. Are you less responsible of an insect's death if you flush it down the toilet than is you smash it ? I don't think so... :-)
I'm reminded of the Bhuddist sect somewhere in the East which are/were plagued by ants, I think it was. Very bad. But their specific faith prohibits killing of any kind. So they were looking for an outsider to get rid of the ants while they were looking the other way. :-)
Anyway, if you can't kill *anything*, you can't survive. Vegetables are alive too.
I knew there would be "shooting" involved...somehow! lol! I'll have to try the rubberband and see if my Sharpshooter technique will work trying to get a fly. (hold breath and...) lol! Or wait: do you have a rubberband...gun? :-)
When I have the patience, I like to work on my "slight-of-fly-swatter" technique! lol! Seems to be MUCH EASIER than ALL the other methods! Oh and...they have STICKY fly paper (NASTY and CRUEL!!) too! I think I'd spray the sucker w/something to end its misery, upon contact! I HATE flies but...I'm not a sadist!
Flies aren't bad. Mostly tasteless... IF anything is left after being smacked with a flying rubber band (often just a smear).
Oh, and TC- I usually just shot flies, but I did discover it was a very wonderful cat training technique. It didn't actually hurt them, but startled them severely. That is how I ended up with a cat that wouldn't eat my little pet birds.
"What does a fly generally symbolize?" Depends. Is this an open question? An open fly has got a different significance altogether. But enough talking about my Grandpa's Alzheimer.
BTW, TTL, dawg, you're FLY! Word life, yo. Ain't dat de trooth.
"I think they can't stand the smell." Reminds me of Lebanon's main river, the Nahr-Beirut: it's so dirty, even microbes cannot survive in it.
eolake said... "TTL, what the heck, are you getting more metaphysical than me, here?! " Metaphysically speaking, rather than TTL or what-the-heck, I'd prefer Titty Hell. Metaphysically speaking.
Neeraj's not being as silly as it seems: insects really tend to go towards the light. In the evening, I turn on the outside lights, put the house in the dark, and when I see/hear a buzzing on the window, I open it and check that the repulsive little shit-eater went away to annoy some of my insufferable hick neighbors.
BTW, I agree with TTL's philosophy: the Universe is Love. Until it disappears altogether, that is. Good riddance!
"I have a friend who hated cocroaches, she was always smashing them and they were coming back." Maybe cucarachas are ATTRACTED by the decaying smell of their squashed brothers' juices, chica?... Let your amiga think about it, señorita...
"I used the technic below and it didn't come back." Well, I once used the technical elbow on Chavo Guerrero' back, and HE didn't return either. Of course, shortly after that, in the locker room, Vickie Guerrero assaulted me in her wheelchair with her bolso de mano and that mujer whupped my trasero muy bueno...
"I confess I smash moskitos." So do I. But strictly in self-defense. I also impale vampire bats if they can turn into humanoid form. Oh, and my tax collector, whom I pay with silver bullets. Basically, I kill bloodsuckers that target me. Heck, it's MY grapejuice!
TC [Girl] said... Aniko: "COCKroaches" Yeah, somehow, I expected you to pick this one up. Now, please, do put it down. ;-)
About flushing, I've mentioned this once before: houseflies are extremely resistant to drowning. A few bubbles attach to their abdominal hair (as you all know, flies breathe through their butt), and they can survive for at least a good 24 hours. Soap in the water might compromise that effect...
"I suspect that kills them, but I can not be sure." Well, you could... by diving in after them to monitor their fate. But I know very few people who are THAT curious. (And I won't give names!!!) I've never even checked whether Goldfish Heaven is really down there. Then again, it probably is, if there are flies aplenty...
Unless, as TC Girl points out, "they've got scuba gear stashed somewhere..." No, that would be rats. "There be Dragons." Or gators. Whatever. I'm not going in to verify which! To Hades with sewer urban rumours!
Chris, That's exactly the device I use when I'm bothered in my sleep. Rather than smacking my own face in vain, I keep it in my hand, and raise it in the place I know is correct when I hear the buzz getting close to my ear. Most convenient method to preserve your sleep. Electric racket against bug racket. ;-) They cost about 4 bucks around here. And they even recharge on a power socket. (When we DO have power, naturally.)
"But their specific faith prohibits killing of any kind." I think that would be the Jains of India...
"Vegetables are alive too." And some people even sweet-talk them to boost their green-leaved spirits and help them grow better. While others claim it's simply that they enjoy the effect of the extra CO2 in human breath.
"or I shoot them with rubber bands." Why, Kent, I'm so disappointed with you! Whatever happened to goold, old-fashioned, 100% American firearms? Be a man, DRAW! Then again, my 5 y/o nephew really enjoys the rubber band-shooting pistol toy I got him. But he still isn't skilled enough to shoot flies down from the unfriendly skies. Plastic, more sophisticated than your model, TC, and also way cheaper. I got that toy as a gift with a Disney magazine. Speaking of magazines, you can load its cog wheel with several rubber bands, and it shoots them in one stream. In case that fly is of the Red Baron sub-species...
"It is a technique I perfected while working at pet stores." Just how did you...? No, wait : I don't want to know. Poor pets! ;-)
"Rubber bands are really useful." In Guantanamo, they experimented rather successfully with rock bands. Seems to be quite lethal... Rubber is too soft on terrorists. Heavy metal is also a good choice.
Sometimes, with proper focus, I can slap flies mid-air with one hand. If I make them hit a wall or the floor, they're done for. Works well with wasps, too. I sometimes off wasps when they bother my canaries after I've given them fruit.
"Oh sorry, I didn't know that you were actually eating those flies." :-D My cat does. Moths, too. They look very yummy, apparently.
"Flies aren't bad." Yes they are! Plain wicked evil, I say. "Mostly tasteless..." Uhm... again, I don't want to know how you became such an expert! ;-)
"They are alive but not in the same way as something with a brain. Plants don't have even a rudimentary nervous system." Now look what you've done! You've hurt Rose's feelings. And also Daisy. And Jasmine. And Rapunzel. And Peaches. And... It's gonna take me a lot of manure to make up for the upsetting you've just caused to my little sweethearts, Steve. It's fortuate that I'm a Lebanese guy. I'm an expert at spreading manure.
"But even someone who eats only plants still has to kill insects in order for the plants to survive." No. Let this crime fall on the karmas of those insects, and don't interfere. Auuuummmmm!...
"Here's a good use!" Thanks for the tip, TC. How much do I owe you in intellectual rights for the use of your here invention? As a bonus, makes one look SO intelligent! ;-)
Here's an interesting enigma for you: A man was in a restaurant, and he called the waiter: - There's a fly in my coffee. - That's no problem, sir, I'll bring you another one immediately. The waiter took away the cup, and returned soon. Suddenly, the angry man called: - What do you think I am, stupid? You took out the fly and brought me back the same cup of coffee! Question: How did he know so positively?
Now for another, easier one: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it?
"The average insect population per square mile is estimated to be equal to the total population of people in the world." In numbers, that's quite possible. But in body mass, it would take more than just one measly square mile to top us. Probably less than the surface of China, though...
"Would bet that insect has lots of friends that will take his place if he was sent to the here after." OOOOOOH! So, THAT's why they're more relentless in constantly coming back than the list of sequels in all of the Hollywood action movies and Asia's Kung-Fu flicks combined. Plus Jason and Rocky.
I thought they were just coincidences, that every time I have a picnic new legions of zombie ants converge on my slice of chocolate cake, suicide wave after suicide wave, merrily getting glued to death in a mess of bleh creamness.
"Insect Revenge From The Beyond" makes it so much more logical.
One question remains: why ME? I mean, surely many other boys took off the wings of flies before me. Aintenna-ther one to persecute but me? Here, go bug Eolake. He slugs clobbers. Or fondles slugs. Something like that.
(sigh) It would be nice if my verif could say "aardvark" right now! But no. Instead, they know my "ardesse".
What do you do about flies?
ReplyDeleteI ask myself two questions:
1. What does a fly generally symbolize?
2. What am I trying to tell myself by creating this fly in my personal reality at this moment?
As soon as I figure out the answer to #2 the fly is gone.
This is hypothetical, though, since I don't have flies in my life. But if I had, this would be the standard and preferred procedure.
It's strange, but I haven't had flies in my place for years (now I've done it!).
ReplyDeleteI think they can't stand the smell.
TTL, what the heck, are you getting more metaphysical than me, here?! :-)
ReplyDeleteMore on the esoteric side: I open the window and talk to the fly, asking nicely to choose freedom ... mostly it does ;-)
ReplyDeletettl, amazing !
ReplyDeleteI never smash then, I respect life. I have a friend who hated cocrouches, she was always smashing them and they were coming back. I never had, except once, I used the technic below and it didn't come back.
They don't see glass. You just take a nice and clean transparent glass, put it on the fly, take a paper, slip it below, and let him fly outside.
By the way, can't believe you smash the flies ! What have they done to you ? I thought you were more mataphysic than that !
(I confess I smash moskitos. But no other insect.)
And that I didn't take the time to read it through, so plenty of mistakes... But it's so late...
ReplyDeleteTTL, what the heck, are you getting more metaphysical than me, here?! :-)
ReplyDeleteWell, if I understand you correctly that you jump around in your apartment chasing a fly, I would have to say yes. ;-)
(I confess I smash moskitos. But no other insect.)
I don't kill even mosquitoes. Some small bugs I might wash down the toilet. I suspect that kills them, but I can not be sure.
Aniko: "COCKroaches" (I'd say more but...I'll be a "proper Lady" today! lol! OK, I'll just say this: "They're a D**K of a problem!" If you don't *get* it, Aniko, it's not a big deal. Just a silly play on words regarding cockroaches!! :-)
ReplyDeletettl said...
ReplyDelete"...Some small bugs I might wash down the toilet. I suspect that kills them, but I can not be sure."
That or...they've got scuba gear stashed somewhere...just in case you lose your mind and try to flush them down! ROFLMAO! ;-)
Electric mosquitto zapper - looks like a tennis racket, works on flys too. Over here in the tropics dengue fever and malaria are possible so we generally try to avoid them.
ReplyDeleteGet some good, old fashioned baloney and leave it out in a pan on the kitchen counter. The problem will take care of itself:
ReplyDeleteA fly was buzzing along one morning when he saw a lawn mower someone had left out in their front yard. He flew over and sat on the handle, watching the children going down the sidewalk on their way to school.
One little boy tripped on a crack and fell, spilling his lunch on the sidewalk. He picked himself up, put his lunch back in the bag and went on. But he missed a piece of baloney. The fly had not eaten that morning and he sure was hungry. So he flew down and started eating the bologna. In fact he ate so much that he could not fly, so he waddled across the sidewalk, across the lawn, up the wheel of the lawn mower, up the handle, and sat there resting and watching the children.
There was still some baloney laying there on the sidewalk. He was really stuffed, but that baloney sure did look good.
Finally temptation got the best of him and he jumped off the handle of the lawn mower to fly over to the baloney. But alas he was too full to fly and fell straight to the ground... splat!
The moral of this story is simple... don't fly off the handle when you are full of baloney.
"I don't kill even mosquitoes. Some small bugs I might wash down the toilet. I suspect that kills them, but I can not be sure."
ReplyDeleteHaha ! It's funny, at first that sounded very peaceful, but come on, if you are against killing...
Unless, as TC Girl points out,
"they've got scuba gear stashed somewhere..."
It is a big question, responsibility. Are you less responsible of an insect's death if you flush it down the toilet than is you smash it ? I don't think so...
:-)
I'm reminded of the Bhuddist sect somewhere in the East which are/were plagued by ants, I think it was. Very bad. But their specific faith prohibits killing of any kind. So they were looking for an outsider to get rid of the ants while they were looking the other way. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, if you can't kill *anything*, you can't survive. Vegetables are alive too.
I either catch them in my hand, and then crush them (easier to do the catching than the crushing), or I shoot them with rubber bands.
ReplyDeleteKent said...
ReplyDelete"...I shoot them with rubber bands."
I knew there would be "shooting" involved...somehow! lol! I'll have to try the rubberband and see if my Sharpshooter technique will work trying to get a fly. (hold breath and...) lol! Or wait: do you have a rubberband...gun? :-)
I just shoot the rubber band off of my finger. It is a technique I perfected while working at pet stores.
ReplyDeleteKent said...
ReplyDelete"It is a technique I perfected while working at pet stores."
Keeping everyone in line or...just flies?! lol! ;-)
Rubber bands, yes. I'm sure I can do that, I'm pretty good. And I have a nice collection of all sizes. (Rubber bands are really useful.)
ReplyDeleteWhen I have the patience, I like to work on my "slight-of-fly-swatter" technique! lol! Seems to be MUCH EASIER than ALL the other methods! Oh and...they have STICKY fly paper (NASTY and CRUEL!!) too! I think I'd spray the sucker w/something to end its misery, upon contact! I HATE flies but...I'm not a sadist!
ReplyDeleteEolake wrote:
ReplyDelete"Anyway, if you can't kill *anything*, you can't survive. Vegetables are alive too."
Oh sorry, I didn't know that you were actually eating those flies.
Well if you do, that's another story...
Flies aren't bad. Mostly tasteless... IF anything is left after being smacked with a flying rubber band (often just a smear).
ReplyDeleteOh, and TC- I usually just shot flies, but I did discover it was a very wonderful cat training technique. It didn't actually hurt them, but startled them severely. That is how I ended up with a cat that wouldn't eat my little pet birds.
Vegetables are alive too.
ReplyDeleteNot really. They are alive but not in the same way as something with a brain. Plants don't have even a rudimentary nervous system.
Although I guess you were probably joking. But even someone who eats only plants still has to kill insects in order for the plants to survive.
Eolake said...
ReplyDelete"(Rubber bands are really useful.)"
Right, Eo! Here's a good use! lol! ;-)
"What does a fly generally symbolize?"
ReplyDeleteDepends. Is this an open question? An open fly has got a different significance altogether.
But enough talking about my Grandpa's Alzheimer.
BTW, TTL, dawg, you're FLY! Word life, yo. Ain't dat de trooth.
"I think they can't stand the smell."
Reminds me of Lebanon's main river, the Nahr-Beirut: it's so dirty, even microbes cannot survive in it.
eolake said...
"TTL, what the heck, are you getting more metaphysical than me, here?! "
Metaphysically speaking, rather than TTL or what-the-heck, I'd prefer Titty Hell.
Metaphysically speaking.
Neeraj's not being as silly as it seems: insects really tend to go towards the light. In the evening, I turn on the outside lights, put the house in the dark, and when I see/hear a buzzing on the window, I open it and check that the repulsive little shit-eater went away to annoy some of my insufferable hick neighbors.
BTW, I agree with TTL's philosophy: the Universe is Love.
Until it disappears altogether, that is. Good riddance!
"I have a friend who hated cocroaches, she was always smashing them and they were coming back."
Maybe cucarachas are ATTRACTED by the decaying smell of their squashed brothers' juices, chica?...
Let your amiga think about it, señorita...
"I used the technic below and it didn't come back."
Well, I once used the technical elbow on Chavo Guerrero' back, and HE didn't return either.
Of course, shortly after that, in the locker room, Vickie Guerrero assaulted me in her wheelchair with her bolso de mano and that mujer whupped my trasero muy bueno...
"I confess I smash moskitos."
So do I. But strictly in self-defense. I also impale vampire bats if they can turn into humanoid form. Oh, and my tax collector, whom I pay with silver bullets. Basically, I kill bloodsuckers that target me. Heck, it's MY grapejuice!
TC [Girl] said...
Aniko: "COCKroaches"
Yeah, somehow, I expected you to pick this one up.
Now, please, do put it down. ;-)
About flushing, I've mentioned this once before: houseflies are extremely resistant to drowning. A few bubbles attach to their abdominal hair (as you all know, flies breathe through their butt), and they can survive for at least a good 24 hours. Soap in the water might compromise that effect...
"I suspect that kills them, but I can not be sure."
Well, you could... by diving in after them to monitor their fate.
But I know very few people who are THAT curious. (And I won't give names!!!)
I've never even checked whether Goldfish Heaven is really down there.
Then again, it probably is, if there are flies aplenty...
Unless, as TC Girl points out,
"they've got scuba gear stashed somewhere..."
No, that would be rats.
"There be Dragons." Or gators. Whatever. I'm not going in to verify which! To Hades with sewer urban rumours!
Chris,
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly the device I use when I'm bothered in my sleep. Rather than smacking my own face in vain, I keep it in my hand, and raise it in the place I know is correct when I hear the buzz getting close to my ear. Most convenient method to preserve your sleep. Electric racket against bug racket. ;-)
They cost about 4 bucks around here. And they even recharge on a power socket. (When we DO have power, naturally.)
"But their specific faith prohibits killing of any kind."
I think that would be the Jains of India...
"Vegetables are alive too."
And some people even sweet-talk them to boost their green-leaved spirits and help them grow better.
While others claim it's simply that they enjoy the effect of the extra CO2 in human breath.
"or I shoot them with rubber bands."
Why, Kent, I'm so disappointed with you!
Whatever happened to goold, old-fashioned, 100% American firearms? Be a man, DRAW!
Then again, my 5 y/o nephew really enjoys the rubber band-shooting pistol toy I got him. But he still isn't skilled enough to shoot flies down from the unfriendly skies. Plastic, more sophisticated than your model, TC, and also way cheaper.
I got that toy as a gift with a Disney magazine. Speaking of magazines, you can load its cog wheel with several rubber bands, and it shoots them in one stream. In case that fly is of the Red Baron sub-species...
"It is a technique I perfected while working at pet stores."
Just how did you...? No, wait : I don't want to know.
Poor pets! ;-)
"Rubber bands are really useful."
In Guantanamo, they experimented rather successfully with rock bands. Seems to be quite lethal...
Rubber is too soft on terrorists.
Heavy metal is also a good choice.
Sometimes, with proper focus, I can slap flies mid-air with one hand. If I make them hit a wall or the floor, they're done for. Works well with wasps, too. I sometimes off wasps when they bother my canaries after I've given them fruit.
"Oh sorry, I didn't know that you were actually eating those flies."
:-D My cat does. Moths, too. They look very yummy, apparently.
"Flies aren't bad."
Yes they are! Plain wicked evil, I say.
"Mostly tasteless..."
Uhm... again, I don't want to know how you became such an expert! ;-)
"They are alive but not in the same way as something with a brain. Plants don't have even a rudimentary nervous system."
Now look what you've done! You've hurt Rose's feelings. And also Daisy. And Jasmine. And Rapunzel. And Peaches. And...
It's gonna take me a lot of manure to make up for the upsetting you've just caused to my little sweethearts, Steve.
It's fortuate that I'm a Lebanese guy. I'm an expert at spreading manure.
"But even someone who eats only plants still has to kill insects in order for the plants to survive."
No. Let this crime fall on the karmas of those insects, and don't interfere. Auuuummmmm!...
"Here's a good use!"
Thanks for the tip, TC.
How much do I owe you in intellectual rights for the use of your here invention?
As a bonus, makes one look SO intelligent! ;-)
Here's an interesting enigma for you:
A man was in a restaurant, and he called the waiter:
- There's a fly in my coffee.
- That's no problem, sir, I'll bring you another one immediately.
The waiter took away the cup, and returned soon.
Suddenly, the angry man called:
- What do you think I am, stupid? You took out the fly and brought me back the same cup of coffee!
Question: How did he know so positively?
Now for another, easier one:
What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it?
Answers soon. Think about it for a while first...
http://turf.lib.msu.edu/1970s/1976/760511.pdf
ReplyDelete"The average insect population per square mile is
estimated to be equal to the total population of people
in the world."
Would bet that insect has lots of friends that will take his place if he was sent to the here after.
Joe
Ray blogged about this a few days later here.
ReplyDelete"The average insect population per square mile is estimated to be equal to the total population of people in the world."
ReplyDeleteIn numbers, that's quite possible.
But in body mass, it would take more than just one measly square mile to top us.
Probably less than the surface of China, though...
"Would bet that insect has lots of friends that will take his place if he was sent to the here after."
OOOOOOH! So, THAT's why they're more relentless in constantly coming back than the list of sequels in all of the Hollywood action movies and Asia's Kung-Fu flicks combined. Plus Jason and Rocky.
I thought they were just coincidences, that every time I have a picnic new legions of zombie ants converge on my slice of chocolate cake, suicide wave after suicide wave, merrily getting glued to death in a mess of bleh creamness.
"Insect Revenge From The Beyond" makes it so much more logical.
One question remains: why ME?
I mean, surely many other boys took off the wings of flies before me.
Aintenna-ther one to persecute but me? Here, go bug Eolake. He slugs clobbers. Or fondles slugs. Something like that.
(sigh) It would be nice if my verif could say "aardvark" right now!
But no. Instead, they know my "ardesse".