Saturday, May 30, 2009

Canon Employees Are Forbidden to Sit Down

Canon Employees Are Forbidden to Sit Down, Walk at Normal Pace, article.
(Notice how the comma used instead of the word "or" saves precious pixels which then can be used gainfully elsewhere on the Internet. Brilliant.)
In the hallway, if an employee walks slower than 5 meters every 3.6 seconds, an alarm and flashing lights are set off, [...] there's a sign on the floor in said hallways that reads, "Let's rush: If we don't, the company and world will perish."

That's the most braindead leadership thinking I've heard of. If it were a Dilbert strip, it'd be one of the less realistic ones.

13 comments:

  1. the Canon employees in the city I live in are trying to scam me so I dont have much faith in their organisational talents at the moment

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  2. INCREDIBLE!! If I *had* a Canon, I'd be heading for the nearest bridge...to throw the fucking piece of SHIT as far as I could throw it and NEVER buy another; AND...I would be forwarding this message to EVERY friend and even foe that I had to make SURE that the company TANKED!! What a bunch of HORSE SHIT!!

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  3. How's the situation over at Nikon?
    Just wondering...(he says, looking at his cruelpix990)

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  4. Fifteen years ago, Canon actually welcomed suggestions for improvements from their users, but not any more. Now, they're afraid of legal complications. So only their own employees can help improve the product. We can see where that's going.

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  5. Rushing mandatory, breathers forbidden?

    In French legislation, this is a guaranteed condemnation in court for work harassment!
    Not to mention what my very official Work Medicine course explicitly stated: stressed employees equals decrease in production. A slight difference in lighting conditions or temperature is already proven to have marked effects!
    Do you know why the legal work day was decreased to no more than 8 hours, with few real hinderances? Because it was found by studies that when it's longer, the TOTAL work performance decreases. Otherwise put: exhausting your workers IS NOT profitable. It's scientifically proven.

    In a nutshell, this is an umpteenth example of pathetically insecure bosses going on a psycho ego trip.
    Stupid bosses equal doomed companies. Even if the customers don't react like TC. (She's right, BTW!)

    A now defunct satirical TV show had a character of the (stereo)typical Lebanese bourgeois lady, "Madam" Fadia Al-Sharraqa, of course "owning" a srilankese housemaid. In one gag, Mrs Fadia, while chatting over tea with a neighbor, suddenly yells over her shoulder:
    - Sinkara! Do twenty push-ups, now! And then you'll do fifteen "stomach" [sit-ups].
    - Yes, Madam.
    The lady friend enquires about what's going on.
    - Well you see, my dear, I pay this person $120/month to work for me. So, if it happens at one time that she has no work to do, I make sure she stays active. After all, I pay her. It's not for her to be lazy, now, is it?

    The Lebanese aren't very subtle people. The character of "Mrs Fadia" was often criticised by people hating her for "being too vulgar".
    It's satire, guys! OF COURSE she's vulgar! (And played by a guy, BTW)

    The sad thing is, that sarcasm was barely exaggerating. Most Lebanese bosses are sickening tyrants with the mentality of a slaver.

    "Now, they're afraid of legal complications."
    What, they're afraid people who send ideas will ask for a share of the profits if it's retained? :-P

    "So only their own employees can help improve the product."
    Ah, they can, but WILL they?
    I somehow doubt it...

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  6. Do I have to throw out *all* my Canons? My apartment would look so empty!

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  7. One of my friends worked in the middle East, I forget which country. He said foreign companies are required by law to hire a certain number of native workers. And generally those guy arrive at ten, leave at three, and take two-hour lunch breaks.

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  8. Eolake said...
    "Do I have to throw out *all* my Canons? My apartment would look so empty!"

    No. You *may* (lol!) keep them...as *collector's items* and *museum pieces* ONLY!! lol!

    NO TAKING PICTURES w/them, either! lol! AND...NO MORE POSTINGS on the *has-beens*! lol!

    But, dang...Leviathud brings up a GOOD point: what *would* happen, if Nikon went that way, too! It's CRAZINESS!! WHO *should* support CRAP like that?! It's an OUTRAGE!!

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  9. I'm glad I just bought a Sony Alpha....

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  10. In French legislation, this is a guaranteed condemnation in court for work harassment!
    Not to mention what my very official Work Medicine course explicitly stated: stressed employees equals decrease in production. A slight difference in lighting conditions or temperature is already proven to have marked effects!
    Do you know why the legal work day was decreased to no more than 8 hours, with few real hinderances? Because it was found by studies that when it's longer, the TOTAL work performance decreases. Otherwise put: exhausting your workers IS NOT profitable. It's scientifically proven.


    Like the French need another reason to riot. I wonder, if a non-stressed employee is a better employee, why is it even 8 hours - with no recesses and no nap time? Because it's also been proven that fit employees are more productive partly because they're happier. They also take less sick days. Then maybe increase the amount of vacation.

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  11. "Now, they're afraid of legal complications."
    What, they're afraid people who send ideas will ask for a share of the profits if it's retained? :-P

    Exactly. But there's a solution: send them your suggestion, but start off by saying, "I wish you guys would figure out how to do something like this" and then describe you idea...

    And relax, folks - they still make some good stuff. I have a Canon Starwriter word processor from 1995 that still works perfectly after almost daily use for years.
    And their cameras are world famous.
    I have two of them.

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  12. Geez, if I have to throw out my Canons because of this, do I also have to throw out my Soviet lenses?

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  13. Kind of mirrors Target Corporations motto for employees, or should I say "team members"....."Speed is Life!" and I always thought "speed kills", silly me.

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