Stimulus

I don't know who wrote this (cursive, below), but it reflects an earlier post.
Carl Barks wrote a classic Uncle Scrooge story, where a tornado took all of Scrooge's money and distributed them all over the land. So everybody was now "rich" and stopped working. Scrooge was unperturbed about the loss, he and his family just kept working. Because nobody else were producing, they could soon sell farm products at super-inflated prices. And soon after that, he was once again the richest man in the world.
Not so dumb, Carl Barks.

---
This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV
set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending
your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline, it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and
Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan.
If you pay your credit cards off, it will go to bank management bonuses, and they will hide it offshore.
Same with stock investment.
Instead, you can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spending it on prostitutes,
beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only American businesses still operating in the US.