If you talk to a person face to face, you always get an answer. Even if he doesn't know you, and you are not polite, you will get some kind of answer. Almost nobody will just ignore you.
So why do so many people often not answer their emails? Even often when they're from friends. Is it because they don't like typing? Is it because they can't see the other person at the moment? Why?
Eolake, There are two reasons I don't always answer my e-mails: (1) It gets lost in the general detritus of my "Inbox" and (2) I'm working 35 hours a week and a stay-at-home-mom without any childcare for my two young children.
ReplyDeleteNow, this doesn't necessarily let me off the hook. And I like to think I answer everything eventually. But it may be that people give up on me when I'm particularly behind - like towards the end of July when I still had unanswered e-mails from the beginning of July!!
Fair enough.
ReplyDeleteNice to see you here still, Karen.
I have a phobia against mess on my desktop or my inbox. So I empty the inbox several times a day. Same amount of work, and more peace of mind.
I have to say, the camera posts - not so much up my ally. Your other posts, though, tend to be interesting and keep me reading. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd ouch. I used to be the same way. Empty Inbox. Clear desktop (physical and digital). Now that I'm getting more done on less time, though, the tidiness has taken a major hit. Oh well. Another fifteen years or so and the little ones should both be on their way out of the house and I can return to my tidy ways!
You mean you don't worry about pixel desity? How can you say that... :)
ReplyDeleteAn e-mail takes no effort to write and send. Thus such cheap messaging transport devalues the information it conveys (as well as other `more expensive` ways of communication). You know how caviar is served on golden plates - vehicle and passenger are bound in human perception.
ReplyDeleteYou would always get response from someone, even non-friend, who gets your message by a courier written in calligraphy on Bristol paper with India ink that does not fade in 1000 years.
Even if you are not polite.
Yeah, but by the same token, it takes very little effort to answer either. I answer most of my mails in under 30 seconds. (If I had to compose, print, frank, and mail a paper letter, we are up to 10-20 minutes.)
ReplyDeleteI can appreciate 10-20 minutes. Other people start noticing things that take an hour to produce. No one thinks that 30 seconds is important. Even if you charge $120 per hour ;-)
ReplyDeleteI can see personal e-mails falling through the crack, but work ones. "Please review and comment" never seems to work where I am now. Hey, they're the customer, and it's the check to see if they will get what they want rather than me go down the wrong path. Such behaviour just baffles me.
ReplyDeleteKaren, our youngest has hit 7 and is making himself cups of tea and helping around the house. Now if only the 10yr old...
There's not really any excuse for not replying to an email from a friend. I don't expect much, just a couple of sentences. I usually don't write very long ones, so I don't expect a lot back. But it's just common courtesy to reply. You've got to love these people who think that no way can anyone else in the entire world possibly be as busy as they are.
ReplyDelete-Brian H.
"So why do so many people often not answer their emails?"
ReplyDeleteThey'd rather do something else. Doh! :-)
It is dependent on the person, of course.
Some people get too many to even hope answering them all.
Some people don't like the work they do, and consequently the e-mail messages they get. So, they answer as little of it as they can get away with.
Tim Ferriss has delegated all his business e-mail to a virtual assistant. And for personal contacts he, peculiarly, prefers people to call him on the phone instead of sending e-mail. (I would go crazy if my phone was ringing all the time.)
"I answer most of my mails in under 30 seconds."
You are very good at answering e-mail, no question. But sending 30 sec e-mails back and forth does contribute to some hecticism in one's lifestyle. Some people are now consciously trying to slow down the pace of their life and prefer to write fewer but longer letters instead.
Me, I generally answer every message. But the volumes of e-mail I get are tolerable. I find that if you cut the crap in your life/work, you don't get crap in your inbox either.
And, thanks to spamdyke, I hardly even remember what the word "spam" means.
Alex,
ReplyDeleteThere's a good reason why clients don't answer review requests: that way, they don't sign off on your work, and you remain responsible for screw-ups (at least in their mind). Try adding a line stating that "no response before this date is to be considered full acceptance by the customer..." and you will get responses. Just expecting a client to behave in his own best interest is pointless.
But on a personal level, some messages don't demand a response. Forwarding a joke, for example. You might respond if you really enjoyed it, but it's OK for me if you don't. If I were to acknowledge every message I get, I would have to cut back on the time I use to respond to important stuff, and that I simply won't do.
Bert,
ReplyDeleteI'll try that. Currently we talk through the concepts in the documents in 'phone conferences, but it's like pulling teeth. And they still don't read the docs.
Frankly they seem not to be able to capture requirements at the marketing end, and consequently the design is continuously in flux.
I like contract to hire, gives you a good chance to look them over.
"Karen, our youngest has hit 7 and is making himself cups of tea and helping around the house."
ReplyDeleteHallelujah. My beautiful niece, now in her twenties, had baked cookies at seven once her mom came home. *And* cleaned up after herself!
"But sending 30 sec e-mails back and forth does contribute to some hecticism in one's lifestyle."
ReplyDeleteYes. Or it could be just a symptom of an inner hecticness, which I sure have. That's why a blog is perfect for an outlet for me. I'd go nuts writing a well-researched 5,000-word article. I'm not proud of or happy about this, I'm just glad a lifestyle exists today to accommodate such a life/mind.
Alex,
ReplyDeleteYes, clients do like the phone: it does not leave a record. This way, they don't have to work hard to understand. I love working for out-of country clients for just that reason, it forces them to use mail.
I've stopped accepting business phone calls. It always turned out to be somebody wasting an hour or two of my time.
ReplyDelete.
ReplyDelete[Nothing]
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Hallelujah. My beautiful niece, now in her twenties, had baked cookies at seven once her mom came home. *And* cleaned up after herself!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a fun childhood.
Sounds like a fun childhood.
ReplyDeleteS.L.O.T.H.! Suffocating of Laughing Out Too Hard!
"You can just call me... Ivan."
I'd love to tell you how greatly fun a childhood in Lebanon can be. But I'm currently struggling with writing the first book of a trilogy which attempts to brush the surface of that topic! There's just too much to summarize in a blog comment. Even one of mine. ;-)
ReplyDeleteDibutil Ftalat asserted...
"An e-mail takes no effort to write and send."
Hey, clearly you're not one of my customary correspondents, friend. That little post of mine above? That's a hilarious private joke!
Pascal having nothing to say, reply or comment? ROTFWHL! [H stands for "hysterical"]
"Even if you are not polite."
:-) But then, maybe you can expect a non-polite response! (A cream pie to the face, for example?)
"Hmm, cream pie!" - (Homer S., eclectic gourmet)
BTW, I should mention that I always appreciate even a 30 second appreciative reply from the Captain. He may be a man of few words in general, but never so few that he neclects to be polite. And nice.
"If you have nothing nice to say, better say nothing." - (U.N.Owen)
Bert,
Sound advice. And oh so pleasantly relieving! Turning the twisted methods of these hypocrite dilbertoids against their authors. Delectable.
"Hmm, advice!" - (Homer S. again)
Pascal:
ReplyDelete"Hmm, cream pie!" - (Homer S., eclectic gourmet)
Homer's really more of a gourmand.
"BTW, I should mention that I always appreciate even a 30 second appreciative reply from the Captain."
ReplyDeleteMe too. And from any of my friends. Don't get me wrong. (Instead, get me right. :-))
My point was that there's a rhythm to everything we do. And engaging repeatedly in 30 sec contacts with people introduces a certain rhythm in one's actions. If that rhythm comes naturally to you, then it's all fine. But if you do it against your natural rhythm just so you could get more done, or in reaction to outside pressure, you may start to feel hectic and stressed out. I understand this observation is the motivation behind the slow movement.
The recipient of the messages doesn't care. She can engage her e-mail at her preferred pace regardless of how the messages were sent.
Just so.
ReplyDeleteMe, it fits. My mind skips around like a rock video in any case.
More gourmand than gourmet, but they're compatible. :-)
ReplyDeleteA skipping rock in a fit case? [Naah! Let's do without the obvious puns.] Reminds me of Stephen King's Ballad of the Flexible Bullet" in "Skeleton Crew".
Fornit some fornus.
Seth Godin's latest post, Inbox culture, touches this subject.
ReplyDeleteHmmm... I get way more mail than most people, and yet I can handle it in less than an hour. I wonder about the kind of mail pressure Seth has.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't say how much e-mail Seth gets, but I can say that every time I have e-mailed him (probably a total of 4 times in a year and half), he has responded within an hour with a personal note. Wow!
ReplyDelete"Wow!" indeed. :-)
ReplyDeleteGee, karen, do you have a ph.d?
ReplyDeleteOf course she has. In cybernetic communications, d'uh!
ReplyDeleteVery obvious.
Say, Anonymous, dou you really have a blank I.D.? ;-)
Ph.D? As in phony doctor?
ReplyDeleteOkay, people, this is just getting out of hand.
ReplyDeleteYes, I have a Doctor of Philosophy in Educational Psychology. The State of Texas has officially certified that I am smart. Or at least that I am willing to put up with more years in school than most people. I'm really not sure which.
I am mostly involved online through my professional endeavors rather than my personal connections. I work as a sexuality educator and a parent educator, so I generally include my title. It's a bit silly on these few blogs where I occasionally comment personally rather than professionally, but that's the price I pay I guess. Or rather the price that you pay by having to put up with the silly initials.
Sincerely,
Dr. Karen J. Rayne, M.A., Ph.D., WTF, ROLF'n'stuff
That's pretty cool, Karen. You must be very good at sex then.
ReplyDeleteI remember as a youngster when I took my first piano lessons. The piano "educator" was an elderly lady with a Prussian teaching style. But it was sitting next to her and watching her play that completely blew my mind. So powerful and precise, and yet so elegant and seamless. I thought I'd never be able to learn the kind of economy in hand and finger movement she had mastered.
Using that experience as a reference point and imagining an educator with a similar authority position, and equally impressive skills, but in the field of sex, is too much for the brain to handle. And you have the TLAs to prove it! Ouch.
TTL, you tongue-in-cheek little devil you!
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing coincidence, TTL. Did you know that I am in fact an elderly lady with a Prussian teaching style? And that I used to teach piano lessons? Are you the little brat who used to try and look down my brazier??
ReplyDeleteTTL drooled...
ReplyDelete"completely blew my mind. So powerful and precise, and yet so elegant and seamless. I thought I'd never be able to learn the kind of economy in hand and finger movement she had mastered."
Oh, you sly dog! Such impeccable innuendo art... bravo, I say! [applause]
And you looked down her brazier, too? Ach du lieber, das ist wunderbar mein freund!
I bet your real name is Through The Looking Glass? ;-)
Dr Rayne,
Have some understanding, Fraulein. Boys will be boys, ya? Snips and snails, and puppy dog tails...
(All very Freudian symbols, natürlich!)