"I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum."
-- Frances Willard
I like that quote. One of the best decisions I've made in this life is to minimize conflict. For a while there I was worried that I was what that Danish call "conflict shy", a subtler word for coward. But I don't think so. I just think I felt instinctively that conflict, while occasionally (rarely) and temporarily necessary, is almost never constructive or productive. Creation and communication are productive. Conflict just locks up energy which could be used constructively.
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Update: Rather apropos, I'm just reading about one of my favorite composers, Sinead O'connor. While we can't truly adjudicate what goes on in somebody else's lives, it is a fact that she now sadly has retired from music (before she was forty), and that she must have been much worn down by the intensive attacks she suffered because she was so busy fighting the English, the American, and the Catholic Church. While those, like any group on Earth, have their flaws, they are not the "real enemy" (an expression she used about the church). There is no "real enemy", that's the big trick of the universe. "We have met the enemy and he is us", to quote a famous opossum. So all we have to do is stop being it. Easier said than done, but worthwhile.
I'm finding that even if you are engaged in a so-called drama, your mindset is the primary factor in determining whether or not it's a conflict. If someone acts aggressively towards you you don't need turn tail and run nor must you let yourself be hit. You can stand your ground while acting as a neutralizing agent, whether it's by side-stepping or deflecting each strike. It's amazing how quickly angry people wear themselves out when you don't engage them on their level. It's akin to a three year old throwing his sippy cup at a brick wall during a temper tantrum.
ReplyDeleteIf one MUST fight, it's best to use a blunt weapon so no real harm is incurred in the long run. It is the method and the malice that defines conflict. Remove the hatred and dull the blade, refocus intent on higher ideals, and though the war may rage on it is no longer a fight but an act of release.
The other side will calm down eventually when you do not feed it. Reason then becomes possible and a far brighter tomorrow is able to be established. And if they are bent on destruction, they will die by their own hands. Surely there is nothing ignoble in walking away from a battle that cannot be won, not when everything that can be done has been done and circumstances have shown no signs of changing. Whether metaphorically or literallly, people often face their own demise (by their own choosing, conscious or unconscious, confined to a specific moment or by way of a chain of events) before they allow themselves the liberty of illumination. No man or woman can alter these events when it is not their choices which have set them into motion. They can only respond in whatever way is appropriate while reciting a quiet prayer for the damned. That alone does more good than we comprehend.
Blog:
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Eolake,
ReplyDeleteI finally decided to check out your blog a little. It's very intresting. As with DOMAI, you resonate with a huge variety of people.
I read a few of your posts, and they seem to have one thing in common: armchair philosophy. I enjoy that.
One thing I've noticed is your comments on the nature of good and evil, moreso the responses to them.
I have encountered truly evil people, they are not evil because of what I think of them, they are evil because of what they do and how they do it. They generate conflict with their unbridled and unreasonable hatred, for no apparent purpose.
In my thoughts, goodness is actually the lack of evil, and not the other way around. In one of your posts, you wrote that evil is nothing, an illusion. I disagree. Evil is corruption, as rust corrupts strong metal.
I can't define good and evil for all people, as many people presume to do. I can only speak from my own experience, and in that experience, the greatest conflict is generated by people who hate without cause. They are the ones who I consider truly evil. I have not seen greater evil through any other medium.
Something for you to ponder during your nights of insomnia.
"I read a few of your posts, and they seem to have one thing in common: armchair philosophy. I enjoy that."
ReplyDeleteThank you very much.
I wonder, what other kinds are there? How much philosophy is really "thunk out" on battlefields or while racing speed boats? You need comfort and quiet to think. Well, at least I do. :)
"the greatest conflict is generated by people who hate without cause"
ReplyDeleteSounds reasonable.
I never met them though.
There is no "real enemy", that's the big trick of the universe.
ReplyDeleteSatan absolutely loves you as he follows you around in the shadows of broad daylight.
Big trick, let me snicker.......ok.
Sin and evil? Illusions some of you believe, pause......another snicker........ok, ok.
And last but not least, nothing is real. Stop. I shake my head with a sigh and realize that Satan has won you over by simple deception.
Easy prey, like shooting fish in a barrel. Oh, by the way, I'm not real either, I'm just a lost spirit who is floating around in a make-believe existence.
I love Sinead O'Connor. I didn't know she retired. I thought she recently got into a kind of reggae.
ReplyDeleteHer album on Irish lullabies and Irish ballads is so wonderful, I have played it so much I've had to buy 3 copies over the years.
re. armchair philosophy. Maybe it's a question of semantics. But I never thought true philosophy could be worked out in an armchair, but must be embodied.
The key words are *worked out*.
Otherwise it remains on the level of thought.
That's a good philosophy and strategy of yours, Eolake!
ReplyDeleteEach time I take to the punching bag (filled with sand) when I'm in a tantrum, I feel so much better and the triggering issue appears in a much brighter light, or simply dissolves :-) often ending a quarrel sitting by a glass of whine together with the former adversary.
A very good feeling, I can assure you! Giving so much strenght for the next "fight".
:-)) beep!
"{always}look at the bright side of life..."
"Conflict just locks up energy which could be used constructively."
ReplyDeleteI beg to differ. Planetary conflicts have proven very constructive for my obscene wealth. Destruction can be so constructive, when those idiots spend on weapons without counting!
I needn't even bother stirring any trouble. There's plenty coming up by itself. BWAHAHAHA! (Sinister laughter of triumph.)
Sinead O'connor... Wasn't she that woman with a shaved head (before a depressive Britney plagiarized the idea)?
ReplyDeleteSometimes I too don't like some singers one bit. But as long as they're not encouraging crime or drug use, heck, bad taste isn't a crime. It shouldn't even be a misdemeanor.
Except for Volgon poetry, of course. This one's outlawed by the Conventions of Geneva Sagittarii since Stardate 31.415.928
Britney shaved her head?? I didn't even know that.
ReplyDeleteYes, that's Sinead.
Many people were turned off by that, but I didn't see the problem, her music was awesome. World class. Especially The Lion And The Cobra album.