Most deliberat puns are awful, but these are fun. Author unknown.
1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel & hitting the ground = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yds at 1 nautical mile/hr = Knotfurlong
7. 16.5' in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod
8. Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurt
10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone
14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
17. 52 cards = 1 decacards
18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton
19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
22. 10 rations = 1 decoration
23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms
26. 4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing = 1 IV League
"Author unknown"? Not anymore.
ReplyDeleteGive me credit, or I'll borrow it myself! Here's a sub-punna for ya, Mr Stobblehouse.
Signed : 10^3 N/m²
"25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms"
ReplyDeleteShouldn't that be 1 paradigms? Or maybe 8 nickels makes 2 paradigms.
Good catch.
ReplyDeleteTo kilopascal, via Eolake S blog:
ReplyDeleteYou're not a mess, but a delight, so you are a hectopascal.
(mess-mass, delight-light, volume)
Monsieur Beep,
ReplyDeleteAlthough your name sounds like a sound, you've just reached the speed of delight. :-)
"Speed of Delight", great concept. I think you should use this in your screenplay, kilopascal.
ReplyDeleteThis forum is becoming weirder and weirder.
Eolake, you have created a monster.
"It is alive! ALIVE!!!
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAH!"
(TTL, good tip. Danke schön.)