HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)
1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
- Alan, age 10
2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
- Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
1) Twenty-three is the best age because you have known the person FOREVER by then. - Camille, age 10
2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. - Freddie, age 6
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? 1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? 1) Both don't want any more kids.
- Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. - Lynnette, age 8
2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. - Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? 1) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. -Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
1) When they're rich.
- Pam, age 7
2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - Curt, age 7
3 ) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. - Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
1 ) I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out. - Theodore, age 8
2 ) It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
- Anita, age 9
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
1 ) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? - Kelvin, age 8
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
1 ) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. - Ricky, age 10
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
ReplyDelete1 ) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. - Ricky, age 10
This is way too funny! Simply loved it Eolake!
You want to know the truth? Just listen to the kids!
ReplyDelete"The Emperor is naked."
Now I REALLY wonder why people pay so much money to marriage counselors, when any child will tell you it all for free. It's incredible how observing they can be.
oh god, that was funny. I had to send that one out . . . .
ReplyDeletemy favorite is the last one.
slightly off topic, our first graders in math were making up surveys. They had to come up with a question and ask all the kids in the class. One little girls question was "Would you rather wear lipstick or nail polish?" Most of the boys answered "nail polish." My little charge answered, John, said "I'd rather have a toilet bowl stuck on my head."
He's such a little macho man.
Today in the lunchroom, here's another one, a little kindergarten girl came up to me looking about to cry, tugging at my sleeve. "Jeremy said I looked like a vagina."
Where do kids get these things?? :)
laurie
LOL.
ReplyDeleteFrom Sex In The City?
Jeremy probably meant Vulva rather than Vagina. But I find that error more forgivable in a six-year old than in adults.
In 10th grade I used to wear nail polish on one finger. People asked me if it meant something. And two friends gave me green nail polish for Christmas. :)
"Jeremy said I looked like a vagina."
ReplyDeleteLOL. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry! My kids use to say really funny things too. Now they ask for money lol.........well that's still funny because I haven't any lol.
Lollllll! The storm is over! (Insiders know what I'm talking about).
ReplyDeleteEolake's blog makes us all laugh, and that's the best thing can be!
My belly is whipping up and down with laughter Haaaha haha haaaaaha!!
;-) G...g..e...ge...gen
"Jeremy said I looked like a vagina."
ReplyDeleteWell, only a very small part of her does, and I'm sure Jeremy never saw it!
I guess he managed to find out the meaning of the word c***, heard from some adult. Somme immature adult.
Only little children could ever mention a vulgar notion so innocently that it would actually sound cute! They're the secret energy source of our species. :-)
Eolake said...
"I find that error more forgivable in a six-year old than in adults."
Proves that many adults don't know quite as much as they think! :-P
Knowledge is more than just words.
My preschool nephew picked up a very rude word from some "genius" in the family. Of course, he then started enjoying saying it! I successfully tried the only way I knew of countering the damage : by explaining to him that this was a VERY mean word that shouldn't be used by a nice boy. If he ever hears it again, he'll know. And he'll be ready the day he hears any others. Truth is the best attitude.
Gen,
By Jove, take a hold of yourself, man! :-)
You'll never make it in the Horseguards with an attitude like that, you know.
by explaining to him that this was a VERY mean word that shouldn't be used by a nice boy. If he ever hears it again, he'll know. And he'll be ready the day he hears any others. Truth is the best attitude.
ReplyDeleteyes, this would be the most discerning approach son. i've also heard where some parents made a child put some of their allowance into a jar whenever they used a naughty word.
needless to say many quit using bad words lol........but i wondered who got the money in the jar afterwards?
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
ReplyDelete1 ) I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out. - Theodore, age 8
LOL.........trust me, one day he'll learn that making love is anything but gross. but he is a child and children of that age see the world through innocent and pure eyes.
the only thing gross (as an adult) some will argue this but it's when they light up the cigarettes afterwards and the lady hands the cigarette back to her husband and it has her saliva all over it! lol.
paxil said...
ReplyDelete"but i wondered who got the money in the jar afterwards?"
Precisely the question we're constantly asking about our taxes here in Lebanon. They keep rising, and so does the national debt ($45 billion so far!). It tends to promote the use of rude words nationwide. :-(
Mr. Nobody said...
"the only thing gross (as an adult) some will argue this but it's when they light up the cigarettes afterwards"
I think smoking is gross. And stinky, too. Right, Mom?
Right. I hope you never start smoking.
ReplyDeleteNo, enough blogging, time to go to bed, it's getting late. Say good night to your friends.
Ickle Pascalkins said...
"Good night to your friends." And mine, too! ;o)
I think smoking is gross. And stinky, too. Right, Mom?
ReplyDeleteThat's okay. But I enjoy smoking. Nothing better than a Black and Mild cigar after dinner or love making! To each their own my friends :)
Gen said...
ReplyDeleteLollllll! The storm is over! (Insiders know what I'm talking about).
You're right Gen..........it's over. No more war. War is not good. Civil discussions are the best.
I'm breaking out the glasses and toasting our beloved host Mr. Eolake Stobblehouse and his informative blog and to his wonderful photography and artistry.
Breaking the glasses after drinking in them is also rude. Unless you're the guest of a russian archduke, of course. They have different customs there.
ReplyDeleteProsit!
Da!
ReplyDeleteBut remember to aim inside the chimney.